Stupid Little Fairies

An elvish sorceress from the eldritch future world sometimes called the "Planet of the Elves" blasts a couple of pesky ultraterrestrials.  These creatures are said to flit across the ether on their shifting-patterned wings, but more commonly arrive in craft of some sort.

Sorceresses shouldn't be confused with "wizards" who are a whole another sort of being, separate from elves, dwarves, or their lesser kin.  Wizards are extremely dangerous for many reasons--not the least of which being all seem to suffer from some form of insanity, the product of their quest for power at all costs.

Elsewhere, in a dwarven tavern, an adventurer regales the other patrons with a tale.  The trophy under his foot is the head of one of the Metal Men who are sometimes encountered in the ruins. Some are friendly; some are not.

Both pieces are by the very talented Steve LeCouilliard.

Everybody have a good Memorial Day weekend. I'm starting mine early!

Beneath the Planet of the Elves

Every elf or dwarf is aware of the horrors that lurk in the underground ruins of the long dead race of Man: crawling things with superstitiously shunned names, lurching things with nigh unpronounceable names, and oozing things left fearfully unnamed. But none of those evoke more horror than the Cult of the Dread God.

The cultists are utterly subterranean, emerging only briefly at night.  They resemble elves or dwarves, for the most part, except that they are taller and their features (when they are seen) are coarse and with an unhealthy waxiness.  They all dress in the vestments of their order and reveal little more than their faces.

The cultists possess powers of the mind allowing them to stun or control even the most strongly willed elf or dwarf.  They march their victims, puppet-like to their own sacrifice--for that is what the cultists seek when they emerge from their underground temples or monasteries.  Little is known of their hungry god other than his name--which is not commonly spoken for fear of drawing his attention--and that name is Ba’am. No elf has seem the god or his altar and lived.

There are adventurers' tales that suggest their waxy countenances are not the true faces of the cultists, but merely masks.  Whatever they were before, their god has changed them in strange ways. Tales speak of glimpses of bruise-colored tendrils writhing beneath their masks and uncovered heads, hairless and rugous, pulsing with malevolent intelligence.

Warlord Wednesday: Evil in Ebony

Let's re-enter the lost world with another installment of my issue by issue examination of DC Comic's Warlord, the earlier installments of which can be found here...

"Evil in Ebony"

Warlord #92 (April 1985)

Written by Cary Burkett; Art by Pablo Marcos.

Synopsis: An Atlantean scouting party returns to Shamballah through the forest of Ebondar. Their arrogance at their control of the area makes them an easy target for an ambush by the Warlord and his band. Morgan plans to do some scouting of his own within Atltantean-controlled Shamballah and needs this party’s livery to pull it off.

Meanwhile, underneath Fire Mountain, Jennifer continues to study the Evil One’s artifacts and tells Tinder about her previous encounter with him. The Evil One can’t de destroyed forever, but has been disembodied. He can only return if he can possess another physical form.

While Jennifer is talking, Tinder has been staring into the Evil One’s gem:

Jennifer is able to sever the link with her magic before the Evil One can take him over fully. She locks the gem up so it can’t be any more trouble—she hopes.

Back at Shamballah’s gates, Morgan and Krystovar, dressed as Atlantean soldiers, manage to bluff their way inside. Morgan sees a couple of soldiers stealing from a street peddler and intervenes. He cuts the fingers off one guy’s hand as he tries to take a piece of fruit. Morgan and Krystovar share a tense exchange of glances when the healer insists on tending the wounds of the soldier Morgan maimed.

Looking around, Morgan notes the placement of the defenses around the walls—particularly the energy cannons. He sends Shakira out in cat form on a special scouting mission. Easily completing the mission, she runs into a snag on the way to the rendezvous when a sadistic Atlantean decides to sick his lizard dogs on her. He loses sight of the animals in the chase, but when he catches up to his dogs they’re both dead!

Unbeknownst to Shakira or her antagonists, the old witch, Saaba, has watched these events unfold and now follows the cat with interest.

In Hunker’s Tavern, Krystovar and Morgan are arguing over their differing ideas about mercy toward their enemy. The debate is cut short when Shakira arrives and suggests they get out of Shamballah while they can. The three ride out of town, unaware that Saaba (in crow form) is following them.

They haven’t gone for before she uses her magic to cause trouble:

Morgan and Krystovar manage to stay out of the earth elemental's reach long enough to scramble up a hill and dislodge a boulder. This causes an avalanche to bury the creature. Our three heroes head back to their camp—but not before inadvertently allowing Saaba to overhear their plans for a two pronged attack on Shamballah using the underground tunnel they had used to escape the siege.

Saaba flies back to Shamballah to inform Lord Sabretooth of the Warlord’s strategy.

Things to Notice:

• Saaba the witch again rears her ugly head. She was last seen in issue #84.
• Morgan so dislikes Kystovar's compassion that he almost starts a fight over it.

Where It Comes From:
This is issue is mostly build-up for bad things to come for our protagonists.

The earth elemental that appears in this issue owes more to Dungeons & Dragons than to Paracelsus's conception.

The Room at the End of the Hall

An ominous door at the end of a hall in a cheap tenament somewhere in the City.  We step over the drunk sleep it off outside.  Behind the door we find:

1. Two sets of men's clothes in puddles of goo.
2. A roiling red-tinged fog that seems to pulsate as if with the beating of a heart.
3. A well-dressed man from nowhere.
4. Walls bear but for peeling paint.  The faint sound of a child sobbing.
5. A group of 1d6 hobogoblins gathered around table watching two men play Russian roulette.
6. A single bed with a large constrictor snake curled upon it with a ominous bulge.
7. Smears of blood on the floor; a naked hanging lightbulb swinging, as if recently disturbed.
8. A nest of bugbear hatchlings and their strange birthing machinery.
9. A hillybilly giantess in a gingham dress sitting on a bed and sobbing into her hands.
10. The grim reaper seated at a table with a chess board.
11. The complete skin of an elderly man draped across a bed as if in repose.
12. Pulp magazines stacked almost ceiling high and forming a veritable maze.

Other ideas?

Reskinned!

The usual D&D races getting a little stale? Just give them a makeover and keep the old mechanics.  Try these knew visuals on for size:

For Elves:

Insect(-ish) men.

For Halflings:

Satyr-like guys.

For Half-Orcs:

Hairy hominids.

For Warforged:

Spaceknights!

Okay, that last one may be a bit of a stretch.

Planet of the Elves

In elven village and dwarven hamlet, elders warn children of the dangers of venturing too far into the wilderness.  Out there in the wastes, the well-worn admonitions say, lie half-buried ruins--the blasted and timeworn remnant of a world that was.

Reckless youths and greedy treasure-seekers have long ignore the warnings of their mothers and fathers. They brave the wilds to seek out these ruins, where tribes of giant Hairy Ones and worse things hunger for elf (and dwarf) flesh, and they delve into subterranean depths where baroquely insane wizards give flesh to monsters out of nightmare.

Many of these foolhardy adventurers don’t return home.  The skillful and lucky ones that do win glory as well as treasure.  They become heroes--for the wise amongst their peoples well know that every  bit of forgotten knowledge or ancient artifice brought up from underground brings their races closer to wresting the world from the grip of Man’s long ago folly.

The Kind of Dame Gargoyles Like

In the City, Creskin, Don Diabolico, and Boris (now calling themselves--somewhat prematurely--Team Victory) had dinner at the posh “Pauper’s Row” mansion of Urania Vandemaur. They discovered the Vandemaur matriarch most certainly does not approve of the cigarette-girl from across the Eldritch River that her son, John, chose to marry. In fact, she’s certain Viviane killed her son--and is willing to pay to have her brought to justice by any means necessary.

Never ones to blanch from suggestions of illegal deeds where money’s involved, our heroes take her up on her offer. They also take note of a tidbit dropped by Urania--insignificant to her, but very significant to our would-be detectives: John Vandemaur had remarked that "even gargoyles loved" Viviane.

A late night meeting with a shady forensic necromancer confirms the skinned body they found was indeed John Vandemaur and that he may have been betrayed by someone he called “darling.” His traumatized soul can’t give them anymore, but that’s enough.

The boys are eager to confront Viviane, but she won’t see them until tomorrow. They try to use the map they took from Bliss’s extradimensional bolt-hole to find more clues, but without a lot of success. Finally, they're able to use the second glass sphere to contact Bliss, and he offers a meeting back at Club Tekeli-Li.

One exorbitant cab ride later, they’re attempting to interrogate Bliss at the club. He wants the spheres back, but our heroes won’t budge. They manage to get Bliss to give up quite a bit: He was Faustus Bleys--and the inhuman being that calls itself Viviane Vandemaur was Bleys’s scribe mentioned in the tome. Viviane double-crossed Bliss for obscure reasons and put him in the coffin. He also claims she killed John Vandemaur. Still, Viviane’s motives remain a mystery. Why did she hire them? Was it just to get them out of the way as Bliss claims? And what’s the true purpose of the spheres? Bliss wants one badly (the one they stole from him), as he says it allows him to open “certain doors.”

Our heroes meeting with Viviane will likely turn into a battle--against an inhuman killer.

This adventure also marked the debut of Creskin’s new henchman (courtesy of Fleischschild’s Institute in Lichmond): cornfed and none too bright, Moose Magoon:

 

Creskin plans to put him in a sequined outfit as a stage assistant, too.

Warlord Wednesday: Reminiscing

Let's re-enter the lost world with another installment of my issue by issue examination of DC Comic's Warlord, the earlier installments of which can be found here...

"Reminiscing"

Warlord #91 (March 1985)

Written by Cary Burkett; Art by Dan Jurgens.

Synopsis: Morgan, Tara, and their friends decide to head back to the Valley of the Lion to check on the refugees they left encamped there. The villagers around Shaban D’Aba told them about a bridge across a ravine that will greatly shorten their journey.

When they arrive at the bridge, they find it guarded by a giant warrior, who demands they send out a challenger to fight him. On the other side of the ravine, he displays the heads of the challengers he’s defeated. He claims he ate their bodies. Morgan’s response:

As he steps out unto the bridge to meet the giant, Morgan remembers another bully he face before: Danny Maddox, the scourge of Thomas Jefferson Junior High. Morgan stood up to Maddox to protect his friend Chuck. He beat Maddox—just like he beats the giant now. That long ago battle was when he met his first love—Rachel, who would be his wife.

Morgan is lost in the past for a moment before his friends summon him back to the present. Together, they cross the bridge.

In the Valley of the Lion, Ashir interrupts Jennifer Morgan’s study of the gem she got from the sanctum of the Evil One. Discussing the refugee camp, Jennifer mentions “Robin Hood”—a reference Ashir doesn’t get, but a stray thought that reminds Jennifer of her childhood.

She recalls the adventure stories her father read to her, the death of her mother, and the years she believed her father to be dead. Then she found her father alive, in a magical world, living out his fantasies of adventure. She sheds a tear.

Leagues away in Bakwele, the ninja-like Vashek assassins torture one of Patch’s crew for information about the Warlord. The man tells them that Morgan is working for Captain Hawk. The pirate will be their next target.

In his spherical spacecraft, the Monitor reviews some of his history tapes. This helpfully summarizes the history of Skartaris and Morgan’s advent in that world for the new reader.

In the Valley of the Lion, Tinder sees Tara arrive with what he thinks is his talisman on her arm. Tara sees the boy looking at her jewelry and recalls how she met Morgan and they fell in love. He gave her armband—really his wrist-watch—and she later gave it to their infant son Joshua as a toy. Tara believes Joshua to be dead. She has no idea that the young boy that seems so interested in her armband is actually Joshua, but with no knowledge of his true parentage.

Things to Notice:

• Again we get an appearance by the Monitor. This was done in most DC Comics as a lead up to Crisis on Infinite Earths.  His appearance here also serves as a good reason for an origin recap.
• This isn't the last we'll hear of Danny Maddox, Travis Morgan's school-age nemesis.
• This is the first appearance of the Vashek assassins, too.

Where It Comes From:
Most of this issue summarizes events we've seen before, most notably from Warlord's first appearance in First Issue Special #8.  Jennifer's memories of her life after her mother's death and then her father's disappearance were referred to in dialogue, but depicted here for the first time.

Comics to Game

The recent Avengers film has put superhero gaming into my mind, at least as idle consideration.  The new Journey into Mystery collections and the classic Avengers: Kree-Skrull War, got me to thinking about campaigns in superhero games.  Previously, I've done more "done in one" sort of games--though I have done a Secret Wars riff in the past. I think that you could pull off a comic book "epic," though.  Not one of the currently decompressed storylines with a lot of talking heads, but one of the more episodic, action-based stories of the Bronze Age and early Modern period. Something that would provide the room for the player's to make fairly divergent choices than the heroes did on the comics page.

One of the storylines that I think could form the underpinings of a great rpg campaign would be "Lost in Space-Time" in West Coast Avengers.  It's got Rama-Tut, Kang, a host of Old West Marvel heroes, and the Living Totem.  That's epic.

The Kree-Skrull War would be good, too.  Particular if player's could come close to the "hip" dialogue.  Surely extra points would have to be accorded to any character who could replicate the likes of Clint "Goliath" Barton's patter here:

"This is your ten-foot toreador talkin' at ya, crew. Just got a call from Janet Pym--Hank's own ever-loving spouse--otherwise known as the Wonderful Wasp. Don't get it all but seems there's trouble brewin' up in Alaska, where she and Hank are. So, I'm off for the Big Icebox--and hopin' the rest of you aren't too far behind. This sounds big."

Sounds big, indeed.

Dwarf-Land: The Celestial Empire

Here's another mysterious location in Scott's very cool Dwarf-Land that he's leaving for individual DMs to develop.  Given the information presented in Scott's original document, here's my unofficial take:

The Celestial Empire of the China Men is far from Dwarf-Land proper.  It is said to lie a distance farther than from the earth to the moon--which is not so great a distance in Dwarf-Land as in the world we know, but still very far. Merchant caravans from this far-flung empire follow tortuous trails, passing through desert wastes, dessicated seas, and strange-spired cities, and with them they bring the legend and rumor that has formed the total of dwarvish knowledge of this land.

The China Folk are so named because all wear masks of fine porcelain among outsiders--or perhaps (as some travelers’ tales say) their faces are, in fact, made of living porcelain.  Perhaps lending credence to this claim, the skin of high born persons of the China Folk is exceedingly fair and unblemished, often a perfect match for their masks.

The masks are not precisely mobile, but they do change expression. This always happens suddenly.  At one moment, a China Man’s visage man be a mask of joviality, the next, a mask of irritation--but it remains always a mask.  Their aspects change less frequently than the faces of unadorned men, only marking extreme swings of emotion. Canny traders from Dwarf-Land cultivate keen ears for reading Chinese voices.  

The masks tell something of social class.  Those of the peasantry are often grotesque in countenance, with exaggerated grins, outsized noses, or bushy brows.  Their expressions seem to represent the essential character of the person wearing them.  Peasant masks are often chipped or at the very least spider-webbed with fine fractures.

The masks of the upper class are simpler, perhaps more dignified, in mein.  However, even the most  staid among them is not above painting on some brightly colored decoration or swirling pattern for feasts or appearances at court. Courtiers often wear bemused grins beneath shrewdly narrowed eyes; Courtesans favor tiny, puckering bows of crimson painted on fullest swell of their lips. The nobility often sport well-manicured beards and drooping moustaches.

Those of the upper class would die of shame (perhaps literally--Celestial Emperors have been known to order ritual suicide if their serenity is disturbed by unsightliness) if their masks were chipped or cracked.  The palace of their Emperor is said to be filled with cushions and pillows so that the fine china masks of His August Personage and his most beauteous wives and courtesans are never put at risk of damage.

The only exception to the pristine visages of the aristocracy are among the warrior caste. Some ferocious generals have been known to go to battle with the faces of grinning, horned demons.  A certain feared assassin of the Empire is said to wear a mask with a long and prominent crack running from his eye down his cheek, like a deep and unending river of tears.

Dwarf-Land: The Empire of Zoob

Scott of the Huge Ruined Pile remarked that the Empire of Zoob is one of the locations in his very cool Dwarf-Land that he was going to leave for individual DMs to develop.  Given the information presented in Scott's original document, here's my unofficial take:

The folk of the Empire of Zoob are a secretive lot, freely sharing only two things with outsiders: commerce (which fills their coffers with gold) and cunningly devised tortures (which they work upon any and all who transgress their elaborate and harsh legal code). The nigh-paranoid secrecy of Zoob extends to the workings of its government. It is known that the Empire is ruled by a Cabal of  Magi, but the members of this body never appear in public and only make their will known through edicts issued on anthropodermic broadsheets posted in public fora.

The religion of Zoob is likewise somewhat obscure.  It's primary faith, the Cult of the Weird God (liturgically named Undying ul-Zoob-ra in the Empire), is divided into several sects adhering to different interpretations of the pronouncements of the god's numerous (the exact number also being a point of contention) prophets. The Undying ul-Zoob-ra, Himself,--or perhaps an earthly beast holy to the god (this is one of the doctrinal issues the sects argue over)--dwells in a palace-cage in Zoob's holy city of Baphoum. The god (or holy beast) appears as a giant anteater with the ears of an ass and the wickedly clawed limbs of a cassowary. At the Festival of Yala-ul-Zoob, the beast is led through the streets by gilded chains held by his attendant clerics so that his holy talons may trample ecstatic worshippers, thus ensuring their place in Paradise. 

Men of Zoob dress in elaborate and colorful robes. They refuse to be seen in public without jeweled turbans and veils that hide their faces, save their kohl-rimmed, exotically colored eyes. Women wear little but gold ornamentation, tiny, sweetly chiming bells, and intoxicating perfumes. The Dance of the Bloody Scimitars, performed by a group of the women of Zoob selected by lottery when an execution draws nigh, is said to be the sight of a lifetime--and indeed it must be, as few if any outsiders survive it.

Two Things You Should Buy

While I'm off today for a state holiday, so the easiest post I could imagine was to point you to some great stuff done by some of my favorite fellow bloggers.

The Manor is a 'zine by Tim Shorts of Gothbridge Manor, and its got a lot of old school goodness, including random tables and a micro-adventure--plus highbrow stuff like a poetical ode to the umber hulk. It features art by Jason Sholtis and Johnathan Bingham (two more fine bloggers).  Reserve your copy today! 

Weather all gloomy in your crumbling keep by the stormy sea?  Kill that ennui with the decadent pleasure of role-playing with a gothic touch.  Jack over at the Tales of the Grotesque and Dungeonesque has created a "greatest hits" compilation of blog posts and made them available in hardcopy.  Highlights include his recent series on demi-humans and the core fear that embody in his World Between setting, rumors, spells, villians, and more.  What I love about Jack's stuff is how he manages to inject a touch of the literary in terms of mood and tone, while keeping the game-play firmly old school. Follow the links to get your hard or soft copy today.  And the pdf is free, ya cheapskates!

Warlord Wednesday: Demons of Days Past

Let's re-enter the lost world with another installment of my issue by issue examination of DC Comic's Warlord, the earlier installments of which can be found here...

"Demons of Days Past"

Warlord #90 (February 1985)

Written by Cary Burkett; Art by Rich Buckler.

Synopsis: While Tara supervises the unloading of supplies and the building of shelters for the ex-slaves they’re expecting Captain Hawk to be bringing them, Morgan is off staring at the primitive beauty of Skartaris, his thoughts in turmoil. He knows he has responsibilities but he yearns to run off and have adventures, leaving them behind.

Suddenly, he finds he’s no longer alone. An old man with a staff is behind him. Somehow, the old man seems to know the conflict in Morgan’s heart. The old man tells him that once in a while, a man comes along who can do great things. The choices men like this make effect the lives of others. He gives the examples of King Arthur and Lancelot—both great men who chose different paths. Morgan asks the old man to speak more plainly, but when he turns, the old man is gone.

Meanwhile, Jennifer has used her magic to locate Tinder. She recognizes the chamber he’s in, because she had been there in the distant past, when she and her friends confronted the Evil One. Tinder and Chaka mesmerized by the gem they found last issue. Jennifer is able to counteract the spell and free them. Jennifer confiscates the gem, as she realizes it contains a portion of the Evil One’s power. Ashir, ever the thief, is busy gathering gold pieces, until Jennifer warns him of the deadly curse on them.

Back at the mouth of the Ramphos River, Tara reminds Morgan that he needs gold to pay off Hawk. Morgan knows just the place to get it—the pyramid of Shaban D’Aba where the mages of the Age of Wizard-Kings hid their treasure.

They have to do some climbing to get there—and Morgan has to grapple an orange dimetrodon:

Eventually, they make it to Shaban D'Aba. They’re greeted by a group of villagers bringing a sacrifice to appease a demon. They barely have time to ask “What demon?” before a multi-legged creature with a lion’s head and a body of flame attacks.

Their swords have no effect. Their only chance is to escape into the inside of the pyramid. Unfortunately, the demon merely turns to smoke and streams inside behind them. Morgan prepares to make their last stand, but Tara notices an open bottle with emblazoned with the same symbol that the demon wears. On a hunch, Morgan points the bottle at the demon and the creature is sucked inside. Tara quickly stoppers it. Danger averted, Morgan and Tara kiss.

Things to Notice:

• This issue places Warlord firmly in the DC Universe for the first time by having a cameo by the Monitor. This was done in most DC Comics as a lead up to Crisis on Infinite Earths.
• Again we see an example of the wide variety of orange prehistoric reptiles in Skartaris.

Where It Comes From:
Morgan first discovered the treasure-filled step pyramid in the ruins of Shaban D'Aba back in issue #31.  We later discovered (in issue #66) that Jennifer Morgan was instrumental in developing the plan to hide the gold of the wizards there--which is also the issue where she visited the Evil One's lair as she mentions here.

The demon in this issue was clearly inspired by Buer, a "Great President of Hell," who appears in the 16th century grimoire Pseudomonarchia Daemonum.

Real Dungeon, American Style: Burrows Cave

A man just finishing his lunch on a bluff overlooking a valley in southeastern illinois steps on a flat rock and falls into the entrance of a cave. There he found a crypt with skeletons adorned in bronze, armed with swords, and surrounded by gold. This isn’t any pulp story or movie serial, but the account of one Russell Burrows from 1982. The story is, of course, controversial--but a little controversy is hardly unheard of for a dungeon, American-style.

Anyway, this is what Burrows said he found:

“I saw a full human skeleton reposing on a large block of stone. It scared the hell out of me! Then I began to see other things lying there with those bones. I saw ax heads, spear points, and something else—metal! The skeleton was laid out upon a solid block large enough to hold not only the remains but artifacts as well."

"The artifacts include ax heads of marble and other stone material, an ax head of what appears to be bronze, a short sword of what appears to be bronze, and other artifacts which might be considered personal weapons. There were also a set of three bronze spears, the longest being about six feet long and the shortest about three feet... The skeletal remains bear several fine artifacts such as armbands, headbands and other such items, all off gold. "

Quite a haul--and that was presumably just one of the 13 burial crypts. Burrows claimed to have sold the gold (which is probably a crime). Artifacts that supposedly came from the cave appear to show a mismatch of ancient world cultures and a few things reminiscent of Native American designs (See some of them here). In other words, the sort of things that cynical scholarly types would decry as forgeries. Where’s the fun in that, though?

Burrows Cave would make an interesting locale for a pulp game, but it’s map could be used for any sort of setting.

D&D Most Cosmic

Before I talked about the possibilites of fantasy gaming enlivened by concepts of gods borrowed from comic books. In that discussion, I neglected the abstract cosmic entities, peculiar to Marvel--several of whom were the creation of Jim Starlin. Adding these sorts of deity-level beings also suggests a way to revitalize the hoary old great wheel or develop a trippy planar travel sort of setting wholly different from Planescape.

Let's take a look at a few of Marvel's concepts given form:

The Living Tribunal has three faces representing equity, vengeance, and necessity, and he likes to go around judging things.  He might be the supreme being--or he might just be the supreme being's prosecutor.  He's probably lawful neutral (or maybe just lawful).

In a lot of fantasy Law and Chaos are in opposition.  In the Marvel cosmic entities pantheon, Lord Chaos and Master Order work in tandem, perhaps manipulating events to show the superiority of one side or the other? Maybe they're engaged in a debate or a game rather than a battle?  Separately, Lord Chaos has a visage that could easily hang above a humanoid altar and bald Master Order could easily be the patron of monks.

Chaos and Order also have a servant embodying both of their philosophies (perhaps the True Neutral of balance?) called the In-Betweener, who sometimes seems to pursue his own agenda.

Eon is a weird looking guy that guards the cosmic axis. (Maybe that's what the Great Wheel spins around?) He can also dole out "cosmic awareness" if he needs to.

That's just a few examples.  Perusing the list of the beings appearing in Marvel's various cosmic sagas out to offer a lot more ideas.

Images From Beyond the City

Even if the locals think it's the center of the world, there's plenty of adventure to be had beyond the City:

"Yeah, she was a thousand years old and evil, but you had to admit: that mummy could make a cleric kick out a stainglass window."*

The whole time they were guests of the Monkey King of the South Seas they were in constant danger from his capricious (and often deadly) sense of humor. Still, he had a helluva palace band.

Everywhere the two grifter eikones manifested, they acted out the same mystery play.  Thick versus thin.  Lean versus plenty. Either way, it never worked out well for the locals, in the end.

"The Courser is our only chance to make it in time!  If we can outrun Grandfather Winter, we can easily reach the Northern Ruthenian wastes and retrieve the fragment before Donander's zeppelin is even across the Staarkish border."

*With apologies to Raymond Chandler for partially appropriating his line.

Doorway to Weird

Last night was another installment of our Weird Adventures game in Lorefinder.  The gang was reunited after a few weeks of partial party adventuring and they made their way back to the Thaumaturgical Society library in Paladin Hill. Thanks to Creskin's membership, they got access to the tome they were looking for in manuscript form: Incursions from Elsewhere by Montagu Ware.

Poring over the manuscript, Creskin finds a chapter on Hoborxen and its alien overlay. Interestingly, Ware mentions a visit by a wizard from the alien city--Faustus Bleys--and his nonhuman scribe.  There was once an illustration on the facing page but it had been torn out.  Creskin also notices the page he's reading is a palimpsest--and the original writing not quite scraped off appears to be a still-functional spell. The spell (when read) should open a doorway to a pocket dimension.

Creskin tears out the page and the guys leave with the librarian none the wiser.  In a secluded alley in Grimalkin Village, Creskin reads the spell.  The page expands to become a doorway.  They step through into a crazy cubical bronze room with doors on all the walls and the ceiling.  And perhaps weirdest of all, a floating, mumbling head in the center.

An attempt to decipher the head's utterances, gets acid vomitted at Creskin for his trouble.  Bored with that conversation, Boris puts a bullet through the head before it can attack them.  Don Diabolico explores the other doors finding: a gold box containing restive, jumping bird skulls, each polished to a porcelain sheen and wrapped in tissue paper; a room that's walls and ceilings are coated with moving globules of a viscous, oil-slick irridescent substance; and a room indentical to the one they're in--complete with duplicates of our heroes in it.

Diabolico plays with these weird places, while Creskin and Boris are sure that all of them are potentially deadly.  After Boris goes out and comes back with a ladder, their able to get into the strangely normal room on the other side of the ceiling door.  Amid the fairly mundane furnishing, they find Indrid Bliss's coat, another glass orb, and a photo of a younger John Vandemaur and Vivaine Vandemaur dressed as a cigarette girl--in a hopping Club Tekeli-Li!

Taking these items with them (as well as an ooze sample and the box of bird schools), the gang runs into Indrid Bliss on the way out.  He's miffed they broke into his place and demands his "beacon" back.  Creskin threatens to break the orbs and Bliss back off, disappearing into a shimmering door.

Questions abound, but the boys are more convinced than ever that Viviane Vandemaur is hiding something.

Warlord Wednesday: Innocence Avenged!

Let's re-enter the lost world with another installment of my issue by issue examination of DC Comic's Warlord, the earlier installments of which can be found here...

"Innocence Avenged"

Warlord #89 (January 1985)

Written by Cary Burkett; Art by Rich Buckler.

Synopsis: Thanks to Scarhart’s tracking ability, our heroes are able to track the captain of the guards who captured Patch’s son through the streets of Bakwele. Morgan surprises the guard in the walled garden where the man’s visiting his favorite courtesan. He disarms the guard with his superior skill, and forces him to reveal where the boy has been taken: the Palace.  Pursued by the house’s guards Morgan manages to escape by pretending to be one of the patrons.

Patch is none too happy. First she threatens to tear down the palace, then blames Morgan for her son’s capture and slugs him.  Before she can stab him, he convinces her he understand what she's feeling and gets her to calm down. He understands all too well.

Far away beneath Fire Mountain, the son Morgan thinks is dead is with his new pal Chaka in a treasure room of the Evil One. They find a jewel-boxed with a glowing gem inside. As Tinder marvels at it, the eyes of the Evil One glow in a nearby portrait...

Back in Bakwele, Lord Sabertooth has arrived. He asks to see the prisoner and is annoyed to find it’s a little boy. When the boy starts talking about the Warlord coming to defeat the Atlanteans, Sabertooth flies into a rage.  He’s angry the governor has allowed the such a rumor to spread in the city and give their enemies hope.  Such hope must be squelched:

Morgan and friends are planning a way to free Avenel, when they get word that the Atlanteans are building a platform in the square to publically flog the boy.  Sabertooth has set a trap: There are plenty of soldiers, crossbowman on the roof, and even an energy cannon.

Sabertooth is out to quell this Warlord business.  He says the tales are false: The Warlord was a coward and a traitor--and he claims to have already killed him. He plans to whip the boy until he admits his stories were untrue and denounces the Warlord.

Patch flies into a rage and would likely make a suicidal attack, except Morgan coldcocks her.  Instead of a frontal assault, he and Scarhart are going to swim through a river entrance into the pipes from the royal bath. It’s a daring race against time as Sabertooth continues to torture the boy.

When Morgan bursts onto the platform, no one is more surprised than Sabertooth.  He slips and calls him “the Warlord,” giving lie to his previous words and exciting the crowd.  They fight:

Allowing himself to get injured to gain advantageous position, Morgan disarms Sabertooth.  It’s the boy’s freedom—or the Atlantean beastman’s life! Sabertooth gives in and even tells the crowd he’s a “cowardly worm” when Morgan makes him. Scarhart shoots an arrow with a rope attached, allowing Morgan and Avenel to swing to safety.  They all escape into the confused crowd.

Later, Avenel is excited to meet his hero and asks Morgan when he will free Bakwele. Morgan disappoints the boy when he says he has to go—he has his own city to save.  Patch accuses Morgan of giving the people hope then not taking responsibility—which unbeknownst to her, has be a common theme of Morgan’s time in Skartaris.

When Morgan and friends sail away on the Wind Shadow, they leave a disillusioned boy shedding tears behind.

Things to Notice:

• This marks the return of Lord Sabertooth to the saga. He looks quite a bit different in Buckler's design than he did in Jurgens's.
• This issue is arguably the first time Morgan steps out a bit on Tara by kissing a girl when he wasn't in some sort of altered mental state at the time.

Where It Comes From:
This issue continues with the recurrent Warlord theme of Travis Morgan having a noble goal, but failing to follow through.

Lord Sabertooth is back again after his last appearance in issue #76.

The Story So Far

For the benefit of the players' in my Weird Adventures game (and at the request of Tim Shorts) here’s a summary of what the players' exploits and investigations so far. Hopefully it will he of interest to other readers, as well:

Heward Kane, celebrity detective, hired the PCs to (legally) retrieve the body of John Vandemaur from the family crypt. After fighting some ghoul hoodlums, our heroes discovered that the corpse of Vandemaur wasn’t in the coffin, but instead a very live sorcerer, magically bound.

Indrid Bliss was that sorcerer. He was unable to escape our heroes, despite his best efforts. He warned the PCs against further involvement in this business, but wouldn’t explain what "this business" was. Bliss was taken from them a gargoyle before they could fully interrogate him.

Viviane Vandemaur is John’s widow. The ex-waitress from the across the Eldritch River (Hoborxen) was never accepted by the stuffy, Old Money Vandemaur family, particularly its matriarch, Urania. Viviane spun our heroes a tale of her husband dabbling in dark magic with Bliss as a business partner. She's still convinced that her husband is dead and that Bliss is responsible. She asked the PCs to continue the search for him

When they followed the trail to Club Tekeli-Li in Hoborxen (where Bliss and Vandemaur supposedly conducted their business) our heroes again ran into the gargoyle. A mysterious crystal orb from Hoborxen’s alien doppleganger seemed to keep the gargoyle at bay. The creature said he had been sent to kill the PCs, but by whom? Viviane suggested the gargoyles were friends with Bliss, but then why did he seem reluctant to go with the one who came for him?

And where is John Vandemaur?  Maybe the ritually flayed and dismembered corpse the gang found at the club in Hoborxen is him, but that remains to be confirmed.

More to follow...

It Just Gets More Weird: Updates to the Index

I've added a few more entries to the Weird Adventures Index page for your edification and enjoyment.  First off, a couple of interesting characters of the sort the City frequently produces: the paladin of the working poor, Joan Darkling, and the oozing, accidental crime lord, Waxy Moldoon.

In the monster section, the formians are staging a very efficient and quiet invasion. A couple of para-elementals are a bit more likely to get noticed: petro-elementals rise from oil wells and mephiti menace Char Hill, a town atop a coal seam fire.  Tuning in to a radio para-elemental can be just as nasty, but in a more different way.

After that, if your looking for a an escape from those noxious (and toxic) creatures, how about a vacation to that sweet tooth Shangri-La, the Rock Candy Mountain.

Swarm of Husks

Likely the product of a deranged (and necromantically adept) mind, a swarm of husks is composed of undead insects that died in light fixtures or between window panes. These creatures died in crude despair as only the mindless can know it, and that inchoate emotion, combined with energy from the negative plane, is a powerful force.  These swarms take some time to gather, but once formed will do the bidding of the necromancer who raised them.

Husk swarms have the standard properties of a swarm of diminutive creatures, plus those standard to undead. Any creature beginning its turn inside the swarm must make a saving throw or be nauseated for 1 round. The husk swarm is hungry for life force and will crawl into the mouth or nostrils of a victim (failed saving throw) over a period of 1 minute.  Once inside a living thing, they drain 1d4 levels from it (or add negative levels, however you want to look at) like the spell enervation.

Some anecdotal reports suggest that bright lights can attract a swarm, distracting them from living targets.

Saint Joan of the City

On the southern end of Eldside Park there is a bronze statue of a stern-faced woman in plate armor holding a sword. The lady couldn’t be more out of place, surrounded by greenery and the picnicking wealthy. Her battles were fought in the stockyards, waterfront, and railyards. This is Joan Darkling--to the City’s labor movement, Saint Joan.

Joan Darkling was born in the Smaragdine coal country. She saw the worst of the mining companies' attempts to stop miners from organizing. Strikers were shot by hired mercenaries. Agitators died of poisoning from deadly ores inserted by malign kobolds imported from Ealderde. Joan left the Smaragdines in her teen years and became an adventurer, but never forgot where she came from.

Joan survived many a delve to retired from adventuring young. She took up the cause of the City’s workers with the same zeal she’d showed in slaying monsters. She wore magical plate armor she had scavenged from a delve to labor rallies. They were just another form of battle.

The famous folk song about Joan says she died after her battle with the “Golem of Capitalism”--a brazen, bull-headed construct sent against her by a consortium of robber barons. She defeated the bull, but succumbed to poisoning, caused by the alchemical smoke rising from the bull’s boiler and snorted from its nostrils. That’s what the song says.

In reality, no one knows what became of Joan Darkling. It is true that she disappeared soon after her battle with the golem, but no death was ever recorded, and the last to see her say they she was pained by a few wounds but seemed in no way dying.

Some say Joan sleeps somewhere in a subterranean chamber, awaiting the time when she is needed again. When injustices visited upon the poor and downtrodden worker will again require her to do battle with monsters.

Joan Darkling’s Sword: Joan wielded a Holy Avenger, an intelligent blade who adopted Darkling's crusade. It has a particular dislike of fat cats and acts as a bane of monied interests and their agents, getting a +1 against such individuals, regardless of alignment.