New Year's Day

Then the weird codger just smiles under his beard and says:

“Take it easy, fella. It’s just a yarn.”

And that’s when you realize you were holding your breath. As you let it out slow, it occurs to you that there’s a murmur of “happy new years” around and somewhere the pop of a champagne cork, and there’s a dame standing close with a creased brow and disappointed pout because you didn’t kiss her at the appointed moment. The moment you just missed ‘cause you were listening to some old man’s story about the end of the world.

You take a glass of champagne from a passing waiter. The strange spell seems to be fading with the old year, but you still have to ask: “So what happened. How’d the world get saved, anyway?”

The old man strokes his beard. “It just so happens that Father Time prepares for this eventuality. He knows that the agents of entropy will try to take advantage of the changing of the year, to try and force a premature end to time. He has a plan...”

The new year is born at the center of a maze--almost a giant puzzle box, really-- outside of time and the material plane. Here the new born year can’t be strangled in its crib before temporal custodianship changes hands. All sorts of nefarious forces send their champions to seize it or kill it, true, but Father Time has his champions, as well. He can choose anyone, but it’s often adventurers that make his list. His temporal champions must brave the challenges of the achronal labyrinth and present Father Time's hourglass sigil to the multidimensional titan that guards the neonate year.

Finishing your second glass of champagne, you say, “Guess the good guys won again, huh? I’d be glad to meet one of those guys that saved the world. I’d by ‘em a drink.”

The old man shrugs and puts on his hat like he’s going to leave. “Well, the thing about that is, none of those brave souls ever remember what they did. The maze is outside of time. Everything that happens there occurs in less than an instant and outside of causality as we know it here. No, I’m afraid none of them has any idea what they accomplished.”

With that he turns to walk for the door. He’s only gone a couple of steps when he stops and half-turns. “Unless, of course, someone tells them.” And then he winks.

“Happy New Year, friend.”

On New Year's Eve

On New Year’s Eve, the people of the City prepare themselves for a celebration, unaware of the danger--never guessing that more than just a year might be ending.

The eikone Chronos, Father Time, lies near death. His hounds howl in their tesseract kennels and his imbonded servants, the bumbling giants of old chaos, Gog and M’Gog, blubber at his bedside. The old man--the old year--will die at the stroke of midnight.

In the Heavens, the angels gird for war. They double the host in shining panoply that guard the Celestial Gates and patrol the ramparts of paradise. They prepare for possible siege.

In the streets of the world, the soldiers and made men of the Hell Syndicate push bullets into magazines and check the action of their guns nervously. There’s the scent of blood and brimstone in the air. There may be war in the streets.

At the final collapse at the end time, the last singularity pulses omninously. It's vibration plays the funeral dirge of the cosmos; negative energy propagating backwards through time. The beat carries the slavering existence-haters of the Pit and the mad form-refuseniks of the Gyre dancing into the world for one last party.

The material plane draws, moment by moment, closer to the knife-edge of continuation and dissolution. And the clock ticks down.

(to be continued?)

The Skull's Second Year

Yesterday was the second anniversary of this blog and, as 2011 draws to a close, it seems a doubly good time to look back on my blogging year.  Here's a selection of my favorite posts from the past year that you may have missed or forgotten, broken down by category.

Several good Strange New World/City posts didn't make it into Weird Adventures:
"The Dead Travel Fast" - What's not to like about drag-racing elder gods?  Johnathan Bingham had in itch to draw these guys, so maybe they will show up again some time.
"The Well-Dressed Man from Elsewhere" - Creepy ultraterrestrials should at least be well-dressed!
"Five Sinister Sorcerers" - Some of these guys showed up in Weird Adventures.  Others were just too sinister.
"Meet at the Morgue" - You're about to enter the exciting world of forsenic necromancy...
"Random Queen Encounter Table" - Six queens, not a one of 'em amused.

Monsters:
"Real Dungeon Hazards: Snotties & Slimes" - What? You thought all those various jellies, slimes, and puddings were just made up?
"They Like You for Your Brains" - With a fresh veneer, all your old monsters are new again.
"The Stalker" - "Cause subway stations are scarier than dunes.

Other Stuff:
"Foul Language" - A review of Pontypool turns into a musing on the possible dangers of arcane memorization.
"AD&D Cosmology: A Defense" - what it says.
"Midnight in the House Tenebrous" - A weird place on a weird world.
"An Alternate Spelljammer Setting" - A little more pulp, a little more occult, a little more real world.

Anyway, thanks for reading.

Warlord Wednesday: Aftermath

Let's re-enter the lost world with another installment of my issue by issue examination of DC Comic's Warlord, the earlier installments of which can be found here...

"Aftermath"

Warlord #76 (December 1983)

Written by Cary Burkett; Penciled by Dan Jurgens; Inked by Bob Smith

Synopsis: In conquered Shamballah, Lord Saber-Tooth rages against the witch, Saaba. She promised him the Warlord, but Travis Morgan escaped! Saber-Tooth sends out lizard-dogs and a mounted search party to find him. Saaba transforms into a bird to do her own search.

In the nearby forests, Morgan is feeling Tara’s anger. She suggests he should have left her with her city instead of knocking her out and carting her away. Morgan counters that she would have done little good to her surviving people by dying on the Shamballah’s walls. Tara realizes he’s right, and begins giving commands to her soldiers to get the people ready to move to a place of safety.

Leagues away, Shakira and Scarhart are chafing under the rules of the Kaash’Ban. As friends to all animals, they forbid hunting, and Shakira and Scarhart are hunters. Scarhart chooses to abide by the rules and stay, but Shakira sets out on her own in a fit of pique.

In cat form, she comes upon a camp of armed men where she uses her feline wiles to get a meal. She also sees Ashir in chains and hears the men proclaim him a prisoner of New Atlantis. Shakira runs off back to Scarhart for help.

Morgan and Tara lead the Shamballan refugees through the forest toward the Valley of the Lion at the base of Fire Mountain. Suddenly, they’re set upon by lizard-dogs—and behind them New Atlantean soldiers astride other lizard creatures.

Krystovar suggests they take control of a few of the battle-lizards. They can get them to fight each other and disrupt the whole attack.

His plan works!

The refugees win the battle. Though they are reduced in number, they’ve survived to make it to the Valley of the Lion.

They find the valley well suited to their needs and also find a cave—though they are unaware that they are watched by a pair of eyes from within the darkness.

They’re safe for now, but they have to plan to retake Shamballah. The farmers and herders that have with them won’t be enough. Morgan suggests they send a group to weapons cache he found and bring back and many of those advanced weapons as they can. Tara agrees—and says she’ll go with him.

Meanwhile…

Things to Notice:

• Perhaps a sabretooth tiger headed man isn't the best leader of an army--Lord Saber-Tooth seems more interested in revenge than shoring up his conquests.
• Shakira and Scarhart reappear for the first time since issue #73 and Ashir for the first time since #63.

Comments:

Despite this issue's title being "Aftermath," it's largely set-up for what's to come. Ashir, Scarhart, and Shakira are brought back into the story, and Morgan's plans regarding the weapons cache is revealed.

The Wizard's Estate Sale

Lucius T. Malregard, infamous Southron sorceror, has passed on. (His body was found ripped limb from limb and in an advanced state of decay, but that’s another story.) His estate is being sold at auction by his relatives. The following items are on the block:

1. Jelly Monkeys candies in a wax-paper bag: These 5 colorful, gelatinous, monkey-shaped candies have been made into homunculi powered by blood. A pinprick drop of blood in the “mouth” of a Jelly Monkey will animate it for a day and place it under the command of the person whose blood fed it. The monkeys are able to report what they see and hear, though their intellects and vocabularies are limited. If the candy is eaten, a person will experience everything the monkey did that day. The more blood fed to the monkeys (or that they illicitly consume), the larger they will grow--and the more willful they will become (though the changes take time and will not immediately be apparent).

2. Human Skull: An adult human skull with a separated calvarium. If a candle is placed inside, and the skull is in darkness, flickering black and white images (like a kinetoscope) are projected from its eye sockets. These images are essentially clairvoyance (as the spell)--if a specific location is requested (aloud) of the skull. Otherwise, they are random and may be from anywhere in the world. Every night at the stroke of midnight, the skull laughs loudly and says: “Oh, for Heavens sake, Ormsley!”

3. One Past Midnight Man: Selected Recordings: A box of 3 10-inch phonograph records emblazoned with an image of an old-fashioned minstrelsy performer: the One Past Midnight Man. If any of the records are played, strange and backwards sounding voices can be heard overlayed on the primary recording. Upon completion of an record, a 10-inch tall man dressed like the figure on the cover will appear, only he is not in embarrassing blackface, but rather his skin is an unnatural inky black--as if made out of night, itself. He can teach any spell of the necromantic school (and likely others)--for a price.

4. Obscura gossamer: Wound around a bone spindle, is a black and silken, rough outline of a human. In fact, it is a human shadow that if attached to a new host (this process is unknown) obscures the wearer in such a way that they are hidden from magical and nonmagical attempts to find them (short of a wish). People can interact with them normally (if they draw attention to themselves) but won’t remember doing so within minutes. Attaching the shadow is likely permanent.

'Zat You, Santa Claus?

I hope everyone has a great holiday....

...here are a couple of Christmas pin-ups to help spread the cheer.

The Christmas Ogre Says

Only two days left until Christmas!  Still shopping?  Give the gift of hillbilly ogres, contagious murder ballads, hobogoblins, and man-eating cathouses.  Fill a virtual stocking with Weird Adventures!

Available from the fine retailers at RPGNow and Drivethrurpg.