Taking a Bite Out of Hoborxen

After a week haitus, Creskin and Boris were back in action in the City, with Don Diabolico down due to illness. The boys met with John Vandemaur's widow, Viviane.  She pinned her husband's death on Indrid Bliss (the very much living man our heroes had freed from Vandemaur's coffin), a thaumaturgist with whom he had gone into business to exploit the incursions of the alien city onto Hoborxen.  She said they had used the abandoned Tekeli-li Club as a base of operations, and our heroes ought to start looking for John there.

She tied it up all nice with a bow, and offered to pay 50 bucks a day, plus expenses.  The only problem was, her story didn't ring completely true.  No one was sure what the truth was, though--and their greedy, anyway--so they played along. 

They searched Vandemaur's study and found a note written in the margin of an old occult book: "Incursions from Elsewhere" - Montagu Ware? Nobody knew what it meant, but they thought the Thaumaturgical Society library might be a good place to try and find out--only it was closed for the day.  So it was off the Hoborxen.  Creskin also asked if they could borrow a sphere of alien glass with a glow inside that came from the alien city hat Vandemaur had been using as a paperweight.

The gang crossed the Eldritch River and entered Hoborxen at night.  The club wasn't hard to find, but strange, ash-gray, fairy creatures, peculiar to the alien city replacing parts of Hoborxen, immediately started to make a nuisance of themselves. The boys got into the club, and found omnious stains on the floor and an old ritual circle. 

Then a gargoyle came crashing through a boarded up window.  Discretion being the better part of valor, our heroes hid from it--and they might've escaped notice, if the the foul-mouthed fairy-things hadn't flown in the busted window and started harassing them.  The gargoyle made it clear that he had orders to kill them, but the glass sphere somehow kept him at bay.  He flew off in a snit, leaving the boys to continue their search and do battle with the fairies.

With only four present, the diminutive things were more a nuisance than a harzard, but Creskin and Boris had a devil of a time hitting them.  Finally, Creskin grabbed one flying up in his face--and tried to bite it's head off!  The head proved resistant to removal, but the thing died, leaving a horrible taste in Creskin's mouth.

A fairy-on-gargoyle pile-on outside eventually drew them away and our heroes made it to the last room in the building.  There they found a gruesome sight--and a nauseating smell: A flayed man, dissected and pinned like a frog in a biology class.  Never one to leave anything they can carry away, the boys gathered up the various bits, wrapped them in a few table clothes, and threw them in the trunk of their rental car.

Then, it was back across the Eldritch River through the Corund Tunnel--still confused as hell about just what was going on.

Warlord Wednesday: Bargain with the Devil

Let's re-enter the lost world with another installment of my issue by issue examination of DC Comic's Warlord, the earlier installments of which can be found here...

"Bargain with the Devil"

Warlord #87 (November 1984)

Written by Cary Burkett; Penciled by Dan Jurgens; Inked by Rich Buckler.

Synopsis: When last we left our heroes, their ship had emerged from a fog bank right into the middle of a battle. Seeing that one of the ships was Atlantean, Morgan plans to seize it to free the slaves onboard. The Atlantean vessel mistakes the Wind Shadow as an ally, allowing our heroes to board her.  After a skirmish, the Atlantean ship is in the hands of the Warlord.

The other ship hails them and declares itself the vessel of “Dread Pirate Hawk Red-Hand, known as the Sea Snake” and demands they turn over all the booty from the ship they captured or be boarded and sunk. Krystovar has heard of this pirate, but Morgan isn’t impressed.  He yells back they he’s "Morgan the Invincible, known as the Warlord," and they should leave these waters now or they’ll be boarded and sunk.

The pirates are impressed enough to invited Morgan over (alone) to parlay. After Morgan proves his badassery by making quick work of a larger pirate, Hawk meets with him:

Hawk does a little quick carving in the mast near Morgan’s head to prove his swordsmanship.  Morgan, unfazed, quickly carves a “w” on Hawks coat without cutting the pirate. Hawk’s suitably impressed and willing to listen to Morgan’s money-making proposition.

Morgan wants Hawk to harry Atlantean shipping and they’re captured ports. He can keep all the booty he captures except for slaves, for which Morgan will pay him per head for turning over. After a bit of haggling they reach an agreement.

Of course, Hawk isn’t to be trusted. While he and Morgan talk, some of his crew sneak over to the Wind Shadow and kidnap Tara to give them better bargaining power with Morgan.

While all this is going on, Tinder awakens still in the cave under the watchful eye of the monkey creature.  The monkey surprises him by giving a name--Chaka.  Looks like Tinder's found a new friend.

When Morgan gets back to his ship and finds Tara missing, he’s furious. Hawk is sailing away and demands ransom for Tara’s return. It seems hopeless; the Wind Shadow can’t catch the faster pirate vessel.  Morgan has a crazy plan:

Launched from the catapult, Morgan manages to grab the ships mast and drop into the crow’s nest. Hawk is stunned, and Tara couldn’t be happier:

Morgan shoots the sword out of Hawk’s hand. When the pirate attempts to hold Tara at dagger point, she turns the tables and takes him captive. Hawk hastily assures them that this was all a test of Morgan’s mettle. Now he’s satisfied, and the agreement can proceed as Morgan laid it out.

Tara and Morgan return to the Wind Shadow. Tara wonders if they’ll see the treacherous Hawk again, but Morgan believes they will: men like Hawk are ever loyal to their own greed.

Things to Notice:

• Hawk is called "Hawkins" when he's first intrduced, but "Hawk" throughout the rest of the story.

Where It Comes From:

Presumably, the title of this issue means to suggest Hawk is the "devil," but Morgan is the one in the traditional diabolical role of tempting a weak man with riches.

Morgan's carving his initial with his sword trick is a common trope, originating with Zorro.

Chaka was the name of the furry humanoid primitive that befriended Marshall, Will, and Holly in the Land of the Lost.

More Items from the Planes

Here are more items from the Planes Beyond that sometimes find their way into the City:

Mechanoid Pheremones: A vial of volatile liquid containing signalling chemicals (not actually pheremones) for the polyhedral automata from Machina responsible for the repairing reality and defending it from chaos. The the vial is good for two uses. Chaotic individuals or magic-users casting spells in their presence will at least be thoroughly examined by the automata, and possibly attacked. The mechanoids can follow the trail of the chemicals anywhere in the Material Plane, though they always appear where the vial was first opened unless it is quickly capped.

Horn of Glory: A curving bronze horn which, when blown, summons 1d6+1 incorporeal constructs, echoes of the shades of 5th level human warriors residing in the Halls of Valor. They serve the summoner unquestioningly--as look as the service involves battle (otherwise, they disappear). The warriors dissipate at the end of the battle. The horn may be blown once per week.

“The Usual”: Euphemistic name for a noxious drink smuggled to the Material Plane from the city in the Land of Beasts, but probably originating in Dreamland. It reputedly contains Cobra Fang Juice, Hydrogen Bitters, and Old Panther. Consuming it causes all but the strongest to pass out after experiencing a strange fit (failed saving throw at -2). It’s said that some gain one important insight about the past, present, or future after consumption.

Make Them Choose How They Die

Cabin in the Woods is a really good film--though perhaps not so much as a horror film as a meditation on horror films and their audience. Anyway, go see it, and then we’ll talk. What I’m going to do instead of review the movie is suggest some ways it could influence a dungeoncrawl sort of game.

Though I’m not going to spoil specific film events directly, I’ll reveal some plot points indirectly, so if you want your viewing experience to be pristine, beware:


Related to the "Theseus vs. the Minotaur" setup of Hunger Games, what if the adventures aren’t gladiators but just sacrifices? Sacrifices that have the means to fight back of course, but not intended by the Powers That Be to survive. Unlike Minos's labyrinth, where the monster is the same (and there’s only one of them), the Powers let the monsters and window-dressing (dungeon-dressing?) get chosen by character choice.

There's a room full of artifacts--items--most of them magical, though not in the useful sort of way, probably. The characters chose one (though they probably don’t know the real choice they’re making)--and that choice sets up the theme of the dungeon.

Of course, all the different themes and all the different monsters exist there, somewhere, ready to go when called upon. The PC’s might well discover these other options in the course of the campaign, including perhaps the “storage area” for all the monsters.

It’s a setup with a lot of possibilities. A megadungeon more like the titular Cube that the traditional linear layers--and with a overall malign purpose for player’s to uncover. If they survive.

X-Ray Specs

A cheap magic item sometimes found in the City, X-Ray Spectacles are apparently mass-produced and sold in the back of lurid pulps and comics.  The item is sold for as little as a single Union dollar--with good reason, as 90% or more are fakes whose only magical power is to appear faintly magical, distort one's vision slightly when wearing them, and cause headaches.  The real X-Ray Spectacles (sold from identical ads as the fake ones) are identical cardboard glasses (not unlike old fashion 3-D glasses in our world ) with swirling, swifting patterns in the thin, plastic lens.

Real X-Ray Spectacles confer the power to see through solid matter, though things seen are not in color and somewhat hazy.  This is uneffected by illumination.  Vision range is 20 feet, and the viewer can see through 1 foot or so of most materials with concentration, though only 1 inch of solid metal, with a round's concentration.  Without concetration, the wearer can see through no more than a quarter of an inch, which mainly makes them good for seeing through clothes.  Even without concetration, they see through illusions of most types.
The unknown manufactures of the spectacles make a shoddy product which extraplanar energies.  Repeated use or extended wear of the spectacles (more than once a day, or for more than 2 mintues) requires a saving throw or else suffering 1 point reduction in Constitution.  Every day the spectacles are in a person's possession (and not kept in a lead-lined or magically warded container) has a cumulative 5% chance of attracting the unwanted attention of malign astral entities.

Highlights from the Dungeoneering Medicine Conference

In 5887, the City Medical Society hosted a symposium on unusual maladies seen among delvers and possible treatments. Here are a few of the highlights:

Spectral Encounter-Induced Cataracts: J.H. Shaxwell discussed a series of cases of cataracts resulting from close encounter with incorporeal undead. Shaxwell theorizes this is the result of negative energy exposure.

Care of the Soul-Dislocated Patient: Trelane Cantor described the care provided unfortunates who have had their astral bodies separated via thaumaturgy. Emphasis was placed on environmental safety.

A Case of Amathocosis: A unique pneumoconiosis resulting from inhalation of the particulate matter left after a demilich encounter was described by Nyland Tonsure.

Antibiotic Resistance of Infernal Acquired Venereal Disease: Villard M. Sturm warns that succubi derived sexually transmitted diseases often required potent alchemical intervention.

Warlord Wednesday: Forever Man

Let's re-enter the lost world with another installment of my issue by issue examination of DC Comic's Warlord, the earlier installments of which can be found here...

"Forever Man"

Warlord #86 (October 1984)

Written by Cary Burkett; Penciled by Dan Jurgens; Inked by Mike DeCarlo.

Synopsis: At the end of annual #3, Morgan and crew had returned to their proper time and were reunited with their allies—and Morgan with his mate Tara. Celebration is cut short by a rock wall from the ceiling that separates Morgan from the rest of the group in a previously undiscovered room. It seems to be someone’s apartment, and Morgan quickly discovers whose, as the Hooded Man in Black phases through a wall and accuses him of theft!

Morgan and the man get into a fight, with Morgan not doing so well. They struggle for the man’s pistol, and manage to catch part of his precious library on fire. Scarhart manages to s shift the stone in front of the door so Morgan and the man can avoid burning up too.

Without his hood, the gang recognizes the man as Reno--but they had left him ancient Atlantis! Reno finally recognizes Morgan, as well, and begins to tell his story. He and the other pilots were stranded in Atlantis, but they made the best of it by shepherding Atlantean civilization to new advances in technology. The only place to safely deposit their chronal energy saturated stuff was ironically the cave where they would one day build it. The cave became some sort of point outside time, accessible from the past and the future. Reno and the others built the swan-ships and established a noble order of peacekeepers (wearing copies of Morgan’s helmet—or what would one day be Morgan’s helmet) to protect the realm.

Unfortunately, this Golden Age doesn’t last. All the others eventually age and die—only Reno seems to be immortal due to his multiple chronal energy exposures. He withdraws from the world but watches in disgust and Atlantis slides again into depravity and sadistic games with the beast-changer machine. Eventually he leaves Atlantis behind and returns to the cave. He uses the cave’s unique properties to travel through history, observing famous events.

Meanwhile, Jennifer Morgan, Ashir, and Tinder are still in the same predicament we left them in issues ago. An unconscious Tinder is being menaced by a spider-thing while the others search the cave for him. The monkey-like creature Tinder had rescued returns the favor by distracting the creature.  The monkey manages to drag the boy to safety and Jennifer shows up and blasts the spider but doesn't find Tinder.

Morgan is downcast as the Shamballan ship sets sail back to Skartaris. Not only are the saucer-ships and equipment too “hot” with chronal radiation to remove from the cave, but Reno has to stay behind alone, as well. As they emerge from sea tunnel, Morgan sees that things can always get worse as they’re sailing right into the middle of a pitch naval battle!

Things to Notice:

• The timey-wimey stuff of this storyline is fully explained--not that it makes it any less confusing.
• Reno's decision to stay in the cave with the ships is strangely handled off panel.

Where It Comes From:

Like last issue, this one is mostly about dying up dangling plot threads.  "Forever Man" is a song by Eric Clapton, but that song wasn't released until 1985--after this issue.