'Twas the Fight Before Yule

Last night's Weird Adventures Holiday Special opened with our heroes (Don Diabolico, Cornelius Doyle, and Boris Brovksy) getting a visit from the kid gang known as the Hardluck Hooligans: Knuckles (the tough one), Da Brain (the smart one), Freckles (freckles), Topper (oversized tophat), Juniper (tomboy in an aviator helmet), Sunshine and Smiles (creepy, somber kids), and the Kid in Yellow (weird kid from Little Carcosa) and a couple of others. As Knuckles explains it, the kids want to hire our heroes to capture the anti-Yule spirit, the Grumpf.

It seems the Grumpf beat some of  the Hooligans with switches last year and they want revenge. They want the the creature captured so they can put him on their on trial. From a piggie bank, they offer some gold coins stolen from an adventurers' haul as payment.

After determining that it's genuine, Diabolico confiscates the coin they offer, calling it a retainer. How are they going to find the Grumpf, though? Da Brain has it all figured. His calculations predict that Grumpf will appear for the first time this season in Donander Plaza, around the skating rink.

The guys start planning. They get a big cage from a circus; and a net gun, a grappling gun, and one of the experimental electro-guns they used before from Hew Hazzard (which will cost them a favor later). Their lovely administrative assistant, Lola DeWytt, gets drafted be ice-skating bait. The Hardluck Hooligan Marbles will be another selection on the buffet.

Evening falls on Donander Plaza with the gang in their places. The Grumpf shows up and ignores the bait, but instead starts shredding the Plaza's 80-foot Yule trees (one that's magic and sings). Grappling guns, net guns, and electro-blasts are fired, but the Grumpf is only briefly hobbled. Diabolico is licked in the face. The Grumpf bounds away, cursing.

The chase is on! Diabolico is driving a motorcycle with Boris in a sidecar. Boris finally gets him with a net gun. Then the guys lay into the bound eikone with crowbar and boot. When he's good and dazed, the gang drags him back to the Hooligans.

Turns out the kids have a Yuletide dinner prepared. Our heroes join in. Doyle doesn't want to turn Grumpf because he wants to put him on display, King Kong-style, but he's overruled by the others. Our heroes are presented with their payment: five gold coins total (equating to about $35.00 each).

Thirty-five dollars each. Only Doyle makes any move when the Grumpf breaks free and starts switching the Hooligans. We "iris in" on a disgruntled Boris and Diabolico continuing to eat their dinner.

Warlord Wednesday: The Revenge of the Vampire

Let's re-enter the lost world with another installment of my issue by issue examination of DC Comic's Warlord, the earlier installments of which can be found here...

"The Revenge of the Vampire"

Warlord #109 (September 1986)

Written by Michael Fleisher; Pencils by Ron Randall; Inks by Steve Montano

Synopsis: Morgan is right where we left him last issue: about to be thrown off a cliff by one of the lamia Mortalla's mindless thralls. He manages to twist around and stake his opponent. At the end of the fight, our heroes have killed most of the vampires but only Morgan, Shakira, and Kbdarr (leader of the mammoth riders) are left. Worse, Kbdarr is certain Mortalla overheard them talking about the location of her magic amulet and is on her way to get it as they speak.

In fact, with the help of the enthralled Damian, she's done just that:

Kbdarr leads our heroes to the yurt of a shaman. The shaman does a ritual to enchant their weapons to help against the undead Mortalla will call forth.

Meanwhile, Mariah and Machiste are in the middle of the ocean after the bone ship and its animated skeleton crew fell apart. It seems the magic that was animating them only works up to a certain distance from Ummschal. Machiste thinks it's hopeless, but Mariah says they've just got to swim. She's getting really tired of Machiste's negativity, too:

Back in the snowy valley, Mortalla raises some undead from a lake to attack the mammoth rider's village. Morgan and friends ride in and take out a lot of undead, but ultimately Morgan's failed by a blow from behind and their captured.

Mortalla has taken Morgan, Shakira, and Kbdarr to a cave and tied them to stalagmites. She plans to dally with Morgan a bit before killing him. Shakira, though, she's got no use for: She orders Damian to kill her. Shakira appeals to the love they once shared, and Damian hesitates. Infuriated, Mortalla uses the amulet's power to blast him with pain.

While she's distracted, Morgan breaks the stalagmite and gets free. He impales Mortalla with a stake, but it does no good; She's impervious to mortal harm. In their scuffle, Morgan does notice that light reflected from the amulet does seem to hurt her. Using a feint with a thrown dagger, he knocks the amulet from her grasp--and turns it on her:

The undead go back to being just dead. Damian is back to himself but caught painfully between life and death. He begs Shakira to release him, but she can't do it. Morgan heeds his friend's pleas, and after bidding him farewell, drives a stake through his heart.

Things to Notice:

• Why doesn't Mariah's eye make-up run in the ocean?

Where it Comes From:
I forgot to mention it last time, but the idea of a lamia comes from Greek mythology. It's used here as just a more generically as just a "female vampire."

Moon Goons

Moon Goons get their name from their faintly luminous, over-sized, heads (or masks), reminiscent of the Moon, and their behavior. Beyond the similarities of appearance, the moon goons are not aligned with the Moon; in fact, they only appear on moonless nights--a possible indication of antipathy?

Moon goons are raiders. They arrive in balloons--or what have the general appearance of balloons--but the gondolas are slung from spheres of a dull metal, lead-like in appearance. Investigation of a capture sphere reveals them to be hollow, but does not reveal from whence they derive their buoyancy nor their motion horizontal motion. Each gondola carries 2-3 moon goons. They arrive in groups of 2-4 balloons.

On those nights of the new moon when the moon goons strike. They disembark from their craft, weird things of spindly, bone-white limbs, faintly aglow, and mumbling, unintelligible speech from unmoving lips. They pray on small, isolated villages or farms. The valuables that interest them are often not particularly valuable at all--at least not in the strictest monetary sense. Sentimental value seems the be the primary quality evident in the things they steal.

Moon goons try to put the humans they rob to sleep with the silvery metallic rods they carry. The slumber they produce is plagued by strange nightmares. Humans that prove resistant to their rods or harm one of the moon goons raiders, may find themselves on sharp end of their scalpel-like knives

MOON GOON
#Enc: 1-3 x 4  AC: 3 HD: 4 Attacks: 1 (sleep on failed saving throw, or 1d6).

Unidentified Guardian Statue

So I'm traveling back from a conference today and trying to sneak by with a lazy post--but I saw this interesting statue and was sure it had to be some some of living statue guardian thingie waiting for the proper trigger to activate it.

I mean, check out those eyes!  Anybody got any ideas what sort of monster it is?

How to Skin A Half-Orc

Or an alternative way to skin them if you're tired of the same old thing. In the tradition of my two previous posts, may I suggest you give those half-orc mechanics a fur coat.

Hairies are mostly gentle, primitive hominids living in communal groups in deep in forests.  Sometimes though, one of them goes rogue.

Ill-fit for the close-knit hairy society, these individuals leave the forest enclaves of their people and put their size and strength to use where they can. Outcast hairies are not necessarily evil (though many are) just too aggressive and individualistic for their own kind. Those characteristics allow them to get a long pretty well in the world of adventurers.

Warlord Wednesday: The Cold Night of the Undead

Let's re-enter the lost world with another installment of my issue by issue examination of DC Comic's Warlord, the earlier installments of which can be found here...

"The Cold Night of the Undead"

Warlord #108 (August 1986)

Written by Michael Fleisher; Art by Ron Randall

Synopsis: Morgan, Shakira, and Damon ride through the snowy wastes in a valley sheltered from the Skartarian sun (like the one in issue #9). Suddenly, out of the blowing snows, charges a group of warriors mounted on mammoths!

The battle is joined. Morgan tells Damon to protect Shakira as she’s without a weapon and “helpless.” Shakira takes out several of the attackers and saves Damon’s life. “Helpless,” eh?

Meanwhile, Mariah and Machiste are in the stolen Ummschal bone barge with a kidnapped wizard--and facing down a water elemental. All seems lost, but Mariah keeps her wits about her and forces the wizard to use his magic do something on threat of his life. Ultimately, the wizard relents and makes the elemental boil away. Our heroes only have a moment of relief, because then their boat and its skeletal crew begins to fall apart.

In the frozen valley, Morgan and the others make camp. Damon rides back to a copse of trees to get more firewood. When he arrives, he hears a voice begging for help. He follows it over a snow drift and finds a tomb. Slipping inside in cat form, he finds:

Amazingly, she seems to be alive. This is where Damn’s Hammer Horror-less lifetime hurts him: he pulls the stake from her chest. She rises and embraces him to thank her hero.

Morgan and Shakira start wondering what became of Damon. Telling Shakira to stay put, Morgan goes looking for him and finds him amid the trees. Damon attacks,demonstrating superhuman strength. Before Damon can choke him to death, Morgan gets his sword free and runs his assailant through.

Mammoth riders arrive and tell Morgan that Damon must have violated the tomb of a lamia. As if to prove their point, Damon gets up and runs away. The riders attacked before because Morgan and crew had unknowingly crossed the warning boundary. The leader of the riders tells Morgan the story of the lamia:

Eventually, the lamia Mortalla was brought down. Thought she was immortal, they were able to imprison her in the tomb. Her amulet was hidden by a shaman beneath a great tree.

No sooner is the mammoth rider’s tale done than the lamia and her forces (a group of fisherman she enthralled) attack. She Shakira is surrounded, and Damon is reading to throw Morgan off a cliff!

Things to Notice:

• There are 3 variants of this issues cover: newstand cover as above, a direct sale cover that is liek the cover above both without the UPC, and a newstand version with cover text.
• The scene on the cover doesn't take place in the story.

Where it Comes From:
The title of this issue is a play on Night of the Living Dead, the seminal 1968 zombie film by George Romero.

The lamia Mortalla may have been inspired by Clark Ashton Smith story "Morthylla" (we've seen Fleisher inspired by CAS before), but her costume is classic comic book vampiress, recalling Lilith, Dracula's Daughter, and especially Vampirella.

Rooke

This is Mingus Rooke, club owner, jazz musician, and former adventurer. He's rendered here in a Chester Gould-ish style by Lester B. Portly. Here's Rooke's stats in WaRP:

Mingus Rooke
Famous former adventure; Owner of the Blue Hound club in Solace

Black man, mid-50s, gone a little soft since retiring.

Attack: 2 dice
Defense: 3 dice

Jazz Musician, 6 dice (jazz slang)
In the Know, 3 dice - Well-connected to the adventuring, music, and magical communities. (he's always got a story)
Musical Magic, 3 dice - Can great various spell-like effects via music. Must be able to play his horn or another instrument to use this ability. Range is generally 2 x die roll yards, though this may vary with effect, at the referee's discretion..
Not as Young as He Used to Be - Any exertion that goes over 2 rounds results in a penalty die.