Savage Swords of Middle-earth: Elves and Such

Continuing an attempt to pulpify Tolkien's legendarium, let's take a look at the races other than Men.

Elves
Elves in Tolkien are superior to men in just about every way. Pulp fantasy has that sort of thing, too. Check out this quote regarding an ancient race from "Queen of the Black Coast":

“Cast in the mold of humanity, they were distinctly not men. . .in physical appearance they resembled man only as man in his highest form resembles the great apes. In spiritual, esthetic and intellectual development they were superior to man as man is superior to the gorilla.“

Howard makes mention of  "evolution" in several places. Sword & sorcery pulp worlds tend toward pseudo-science, as they partake of the genre-blending weird fiction tradition, whereas Tolkien's is a mythic world. For the complete pulp feel, The Silmarillion would be merely myth and the true origins of most Middle-earth creatures would be scientific/materialistic--or perhaps some Theosophy-inspired mix of science and mysticism. No need to make a decision one way or another, though, for day to day adventuring.

"Do you not see now that your coming to us is as the footstep of Doom? For if you fail, then we are laid bare to the Enemy. Yet if you succeed, then our power is diminished, and Lothlórien will fade, and the tides of Time will sweep it away. We must depart into the West, or dwindle to a rustic folk of dell and cave, slowly to forget and be forgotten." 

- Galadriel in The Fellowship of the Ring

Decline of advanced races/cultures is a trope common to Tolkien and Howard, so good to go. The decline to "rustic folk of dell and cave" even kind of resembles the decline of the Picts as presented in "The Lost Race." Lord of the Rings is full of a lot of elvish badassery (the movies moreso) but the more that is downplayed and the more their waning and decline is played up, the more pulp fantasy it will be. Elves can still be a potent force, but they should mostly stay in their dwindling enclaves.

Orcs
Other Howard stories present Picts as not just declining but degenerating. The same thing happens to the Winged Folk in "Queen of the Black Coasts" who become winged ape men by the time Conan meets them. One of several origins Tolkien considers for Orcs is that they are elves distorted and corrupted by Melkor. Perhaps the corrupted part is the main thing, then they sort of degenerate on their own?

In fact, there should be more evil, degenerate elves in general; the equivalent of the Black Numenoreans. I don't want to say, "drow," but Gary's description of Erelhei-Cinlu in Vault of the Drow is pretty pulpy.

Middle-Earth with More Pulp

"Know, O prince, that between the years when the oceans drank Númenor and the gleaming cities, and the years of the Fourth Age, there was an Age undreamed of, when realms of Elf, Man, and Dwarf lay spread across the world like blue mantles beneath the stars. . . Hither came Aragorn of the Dúnedain, black-haired, sullen-eyed, sword in hand, a ranger, a wander, a chieftain, with gigantic melancholies and gigantic mirth, to tread the thrones of Arda under his feet." 

- The Red Book of Westmarch

I posted that bit of Howardian remix on G+ yesterday goofing around, but it's a serious idea: What would Middle-earth be if presented in a more pulp fantasy (not just Robert E. Howard) sort of way? You could do a really comprehensive overall, sure, where maybe only the names remain the same, but I think a few tweaks here and there would make a big difference. Just take a look at things that are already pretty pulpy: 1) a fallen age following the sinking of a "Atlantis"; (2) Orders of beings with some more advanced and others more degenerate than others; (3) a lot of ruins strewn about; (4) a lot of wilderness separating civilized areas; (5) Magic (to the extent it is practiced by Men--i.e. humans) seems the province of sorcerers who are engaged with evil forces.

So let's start with Eriador, also called the Lone-Lands, which is pretty cool, because that's where the stories do, and see how it goes. Eriador is definitely a "Points of Light" place; a former advanced kingdom where most of the cities have fallen into ruin after a war with a Witch-King.

Witch-King Cultists: When a guy named the Witch-King used to rule, I think there probably should be hidden enclaves (or whole villages) fallen to his service and maybe worship of Sauron or Morgoth. They probably also engage in sacrifices commiserate with their Satanic cultist behavior.

The Rangers of the North: The Dúnedain who struggled against the Witch-King were descendants of Numenoreans (like Conan was a descendant of Atlanteans). After their defeat they become badass wildland types organized into tribes or bands, I'd guess. They're about as much "barbarian" as Conan is, except they're in tight with elves. They roam the wilderness and hunt orcs and trolls (and probably those Witch-King cults). They could be part frontier lawmen, but also a lot like the settlers described in Howard's "Beyond the Black River":  "They were all gaunt and scarred and hard-eyed; sinewy and taciturn."

Replace the Picts in those Pictish Border Howard stories with orcs or Hill-men, and you've got it. Or replace Solomon Kane in any of a few of his stories with a lone ranger (heh), and that works as well.

Woses: Speaking of Picts, a couple of Howard's Pict stories are perfect inspiration for the mistreated, more primitive Drúedain. Check out "The Lost Race." Here's a perfect description:

"Scarce above four feet stood the tallest, and they were small of build and very dark of complexion. Their eyes were black; and most of them went stooped forward, as if from a lifetime spent in crouching and hiding; peering furtively on all sides. They were armed with small bows, arrows, spears and daggers, all pointed, not with crudely worked bronze but with flint and obsidian, of the finest workmanship. They were dressed in finely dressed hides of rabbits and other small animals, and a kind of coarse cloth; and many were tattooed from head to foot in ocher and woad" 

Hill-Men: Again speaking of Picts, in either Howards frontier stories or some of his other Pictish yarns where their degeneration is more sinister (after Machen) and less sad, the Hill-Men can be those sort of Picts. A little degeneration won't hurt. They're really likely to be those cultists mentioned above, too.

The towns: As to the civilized or more settled areas of Eriador. I strongly support MERP's idea that Tharbad (before it was a ruin) was a decaying city of cutthroats and thieves. A standard Conan tavern ought to fit in well, in any of those towns, too. Just substitute "Brythunian" with "Breeland" and you're good to go.

The humans are easy, I suppose. Next up, Elves, Dwarves, and Hobbitses.

Zyrd: In the Crux

The Crux is the cross-shaped area of habitation in the center of the tesseract of Zyrd. At it's hub is the City of Zyrd, the last city of note after the end of the cosmos. Surrounding Zyrd and villages and farmland built amid the ruins of when the City of Zyrd was larger, grander. Everything's falling apart, now. Chaos is seeping in.

In the northern arm of the Crux are badlands. It's a broken place where stone is ground to dust--and built up from dust, too, somehow. Things don't grow well in their farthest reaches. There are brutish people and brutish monsters than look like they're are hewn from rock. It's colder here, colder than it should be, and the mountains that climb the farthest wall are coated with snow and ice.

In the east, farmland gives way to plains. Winds blow from the great face in the eastern wall. Giant birds ride the winds as do cliff-dwellers on gliders.

In the west, there is the only sea in Zyrd. It stretches to a great falls nearly fifty miles tall that plummets into the dungeon depths.

In the south, there are jungles, then desert and finally the uttermost southern wall were lava flows.

All around the Crux, settlements climb the walls as far as the air is breathable and at one time perhaps farther. Some of these vertical settlements haven't seen a flatlander from the Crux in a generation.

Wednesday Comics: Storm: The Legend of Yggdrasil

My exploration of the long-running euro-comic Storm, continues. Earlier installments can be found here.

Storm: The Legend of Yggdrasil (1981) (part 3)
(Dutch: De Legende van Yggdrasil)
Art by Don Lawrence & Script by Kelvin Gosnell

Storm makes the rather questionable leap of logic that the creatures whose tribe they have befriended must have evolved from dinosaurs. Since they are in the future, that can only mean their is a time machine somewhere. Storm wants to find it.

That will have to wait. The dino-people have a problem. They have been at war with humans for thousands of years, and they're loosing thanks to the the humans' more advanced weaponry. The humans have recently destroyed their eggs, wiping out the next generation.

Their only hope is to find Yggdrasil and reunite with their goddess. She is said to be imprisoned in a town to the South. Wag-Nar believes Storm can lead them their, fulfilling the prophecy.

The high priest is not so pleased. His prejudice and jealousy runs too deep. He and his cohorts plot to do away with Storm on the way south.

As they start their, they see many strange things: a floating suspension bridge, a dinosaur graveyard, a crashed starship. Ember begins to sense danger--and she's right. Human-fired bolts take out several of the dinos. Storm decides to ride out and try to talk to them. The humans are based in an ancient, crashed spaceship and call themselves the Jackal Troop. They take Storm captive and plan to kill him:

Ember bucks the dinos attempts to protect her. She convinces one of the warriors to help her stage a rescue.

Our heroes fight their way out, even stealing a vehicle. The Jackal's leader dies by his own giant insect.

Returning to the tribe, the dino-warrior relates the tale of their victory--when suddenly...

They discover an ancient tunnel!

TO  BE CONTINUED

Hercules's Labor Day

In honor of U.S. Labor Day, check out this classic post about Herakles Labor Day from a science fantasy Lens:

"Labor Day Labors"

ZYRD

Someone fucked up. Wizards blame the gods--who are dead or gone and can't defend themselves. It's official church policy to blame the hubris of man and unofficially to suggest that means wizards. Whoever did it fucked up. Whoever did it opened a rent in the fabric of the universe and chaos poured in and the world was dissolved.

Gods, Wizards, or devils, somebody made a last ditch effort to save something. Gods were sacrificed, either willingly or unwillingly, and a haven was created: a hypercube hewn from the bodies of titans left to drift in amundic chaos. Zyrd.

Buried deep in the center of Zyrd is a cross of land, the Crux. Once civilization was more than the Crux, but over time, things have broken down. Beneath the Crux is the Underworld--any direction from the Crux is the Underworld. It holds out the chaos and traps the monsters spawned by it in its labyrinthine depths. 

But the chaos keeps creeping in. The only way to save Zyrd is to clear it. To reclaim the dungeon depths and the riches of ages lost there.

That's where you come in.

A Harsh Welcome on the Planet of the Apes

"STRANGE NEW WORLD" 

Player Characters:
Jeff Call as Brock Irving, "Don't move or this chimp gets it"
Justin Davis as Conrad "Rip" Ripper, "Is the atmosphere breathable? I check the science stuff"
Billy Longino as Olsen Potter Graves, "Give that monkey a banana"
Lester B. Portly as Eddy Woodward, "They finally did it"
Jason Sholtis as Francis LaCava, "My God...They're communists."
And introducing:
Jarrett Crader as Aurelius, "But I must see it!'

Nonplayer Characters:
Ted Cassidy as Eezaya
? as Gorilla Sergeant Pullo
? as Gorilla Sergeant Vorenus
Mariette Hartley as Lyra-7
Alex Cord as Dylan-14

Synopsis: The astronauts land on the post-apocalyptic Earth, heading for their former base in Carlsbad Caverns. They are shocked to discover a group of talking apes--and a human thrall! After a tense standoff, they capture the gorrilla soldiers. With a chimpanzee hostage/companion they arrive at the ancient installation and are surprised to find it still inhabited by people who call themselves PAX.

Commentary:
At last, some apes on the Planet of the Apes! I used (modified) versions of the stats from Fight On! #12 for Apen by Andrew Trent.

The apes claim to be from a place called Terminus City but were a splinter contingent of an archeological expedition some distance to the north led by the ever-curious Dr. Georgius. He has with him a platoon of gorilla soldiers under the command of Lieutenant Perdix. The captured Vorenus threatens the astronauts with retaliation by a Colonel Salaco and possibly the human-hating General Orcus. Are these idle threats? We'll see.

The astronauts landed there ship in the area of what once was Whites City, New Mexico, but their is no sign of human habitation now.

Eezaya first appeared to be a meek slave to the apes but he claims to be a warrior of a tribe along the "ancient border" to the South. He plans to unite his people with their human enemies against the ape invaders. By Eezaya's appearance we might think he is a descendant of the "White Comanche" Izaiah as depicted in the pilot films Genesis II and Planet Earth.

The current inhabitants of Continental Command at Carlsbad Caverns look a lot like inhabitants back in 2133, as depicted in Genesis II (including unfashionable jumpsuits). They even have similar names. Probably just a coincidence, though.