BleakWarrior

When I encountered Alistair Rennie's "‘The Gutter Sees The Light That Never Shines" in the VanderMeers' New Weird anthology, I knew I wanted more. I tracked down "BleakWarrior Meet the Sons of Brawl" in Weird Tales, but it was still just a tease. Finally, the world has BleakWarrior, a novel-length excursion into the weird, pulpy, lurid, and violent.

In brief: BleakWarrior is less a novel than a series of shorts and vignettes in a fantasy world where a species of of super-powered sociopaths fight Highlander-style for...well, they don't really know. The characters have eccentric names like (The Light that Never Shines or Whorefrost) that sometimes point to their particular schtick, sometimes not. These Meta-Warriors stalk each other and fight to the death and  pursue idiosyncratic schemes and passions, all while dodging/slaughtering/abusing mundane--"linear"--humanity.

The effect of all this is like Masters of the Universe re-imagined by some 2000 AD-bred British writer into an edgy 90s comic. It's got sex, graphic violence, quirky badasses and colorful madmen with slightly silly nom de guerres, black humor, and the occasional faux-Shakespearean soliloquy. It's Sword & Sorcery remade for the post-anime and videogame world.

It will not be for everyone, but if any of  the above sounds interesting to do, then, check it out. Oh, and give Rennie's soundtrack it put together for it a listen. How cool is that?

( my friend Jack of Grotesque & Dungeonesque and I wound up reading it at the same time, so you can head over there and get his take, too.)

Secrets of the Past on the Planet of the Apes

"THE SECRET OF PAX" 

Player Characters:
Jarrett Crader as Aurelius
Justin Davis as Conrad "Rip" Ripper
Billy Longino as Olsen Potter Graves
Lester B. Portly as Eddy Woodward

Nonplayer Characters:
Mariette Hartley as Lyra-7
Alex Cord as Dylan-14, Dylan Hunt and Supervisor Dylan
Majel Barrett Prima
Percy Rodriguez Primus


Synopsis: The astronauts and their chimpanzee friend enter the cave complex of Pax. The people are as peaceful as their name, but soon it becomes apparent they are not what they appear.

Commentary:
The only shot fired in this episode was  a stun dart from a Paxer weapon (seem above) to keep an overwrought Aurelius from defecating on the floor. The PCs showed remarkable restraint.

Pax is the peaceful society built in a Carlsbad Caverns base by scientist after a nuclear conflict as seen in Genesis II. The Pax civilization thrived in 2133. Sometime between then and the arrival of our heroes in 31st Century, the Pax civilization moved to the north and left the original base as an experiential history exhibit using some sort of advanced artificial beings. They act out the discovery of Dylan Hunt in suspended animation. In moments of intense questioning, the automata revert to offering refreshments.

The PCs did discovered a map of more extensive subshuttle stations than they were aware of, but their were unable to get to the local station thanks to the automata.

In Pax's extensive library, they discover a pamphlet published in 1991 by Ape Management Publications titled How to Terminate Your Ape. This publication originally appeared in Adventure Comics's Planet of the Apes #19.

In the end, the astronauts leave the living museum much as they found it (thinking it might be a resource they can pillage later), ignore Aurelius suggestions they travel to the apes' Terminus City, and instead head south to the territory of the warring human tribes.

Wednesday Comics: Annotations on Future Quest #4

My on-going look at Don Lawrence's Storm will take a break so that we can revisit Future Quest, one of DC's re-imagining of classic Hana-Barbera characters. This will contain spoilers.

"The Land Before Quest" and "The Structure of Fear"

Future Quest #4 (2016), Written by Jeff Parker; Art by Evan "Doc" Shaner and Ron Randall

I am Mightor!" Mightor and Moby Dick ran from 1967-69. In that series Tor was a teenage caveman who used the power of the club to turn into Mightor. Here, Tor is older and mated to Sheera, Mightor's club apparently contains part of Omikron's mass, which is what gives it it's power. The Space Ghost cartoon has already established Mightor as existing in the same universe.

Listening to some music. The band streaming on Deva's tablet is the Impossibles,  The stars of the 1966 series were pop stars and superheroes.

"My name's Todd." Todd is one of the two main characters in 1966's Dino Boy in the Lost Valley. He meets a Neanderthal presumably named Ugh. Their first meeting is portrayed differently here than in the cartoon series and Todd is also given parents and a last name.

Called GARGANTUAN. Frankenstein Jr. shared a show with The Impossibles. Buzz Conroy was the son of a male Professor Conroy (his mother is never mentioned) who built the giant robot Frankenstein, Jr. Here, Ted Conroy was killed by sabotage by Dr. Zin (the same incident that took the life of Ellen Quest) and it is Buzz's scientist mother, Linda Kim-Conroy who builds Frankenstein Jr.

Hwaopt

Art by Jason Sholtis

Hwaopt are reptilian humanoids from a distant world. They have large eyes and their dorsal surfaces have tubercules and spines marked with splotches of drab colors. They have adapted to a trogloxenic existence, with the largest group dwelling in and maintaining a vast, library cave system, which may be the greatest repository of knowledge in the know world.

As their vocation would suggest, hwaopt are bookish creatures--to the point pedantry in the eyes of many. Their tendency to verbose lectures on obscure topics is minor social deterrent to other species compared to their odor.  Hwaopt use chemical signalling as part of their communication with others of their kind, but non-hwaopt often find these pungent scents unpleasant.

Hwaopt are generally nonviolent, perhaps even cowardly in the estimation of other races. This is not true of their degenerate, brutish relatives, the troglodytes.

Hwaopt Traits
Ability Score Increase. A hwaopt's Intelligence score is increased by 2 and Wisdom is increased by 1.
Alignment. Hwaopt tend toward lawfulness.
Size. Hwaopt are medium.
Speed. Base walking speed is 30 feet.
Darkvision. Accustom to life underground hwaopt can see 60 feet within dim light as if it were bright light, and darkness as if it were dim light for 60 ft.
Odor. Hwaopt scent glands deliver subtle chemical signals to other hwaopt. They can tell if another individual of their kind has been in a room or other enclosed location (60 ft. area) within an hour and make a DC 12 Perception to determine their general emotional and health state and whether it is an individual they have encounter before. Open areas, a lot of air movement, or other strong scents generally make this impossible. Other races tend to find hwaopt scents unpleasant, so they wear masking perfumes when they plan to be around other species in close quarters. Creatures with a keen sense of smell must make a DC 12 Constitution check or be poisoned until their next turn. A creature who succeeds their check is immune for 1 hour.
Languages. Hwaopt can speak and read the Common language of humans. They also speak their own tongue, a language whose grammar is notoriously difficult to master. Their scholar tendencies provide them one extra language.

Savage Swords of Middle-earth: Elves and Such

Continuing an attempt to pulpify Tolkien's legendarium, let's take a look at the races other than Men.

Elves
Elves in Tolkien are superior to men in just about every way. Pulp fantasy has that sort of thing, too. Check out this quote regarding an ancient race from "Queen of the Black Coast":

“Cast in the mold of humanity, they were distinctly not men. . .in physical appearance they resembled man only as man in his highest form resembles the great apes. In spiritual, esthetic and intellectual development they were superior to man as man is superior to the gorilla.“

Howard makes mention of  "evolution" in several places. Sword & sorcery pulp worlds tend toward pseudo-science, as they partake of the genre-blending weird fiction tradition, whereas Tolkien's is a mythic world. For the complete pulp feel, The Silmarillion would be merely myth and the true origins of most Middle-earth creatures would be scientific/materialistic--or perhaps some Theosophy-inspired mix of science and mysticism. No need to make a decision one way or another, though, for day to day adventuring.

"Do you not see now that your coming to us is as the footstep of Doom? For if you fail, then we are laid bare to the Enemy. Yet if you succeed, then our power is diminished, and Lothlórien will fade, and the tides of Time will sweep it away. We must depart into the West, or dwindle to a rustic folk of dell and cave, slowly to forget and be forgotten." 

- Galadriel in The Fellowship of the Ring

Decline of advanced races/cultures is a trope common to Tolkien and Howard, so good to go. The decline to "rustic folk of dell and cave" even kind of resembles the decline of the Picts as presented in "The Lost Race." Lord of the Rings is full of a lot of elvish badassery (the movies moreso) but the more that is downplayed and the more their waning and decline is played up, the more pulp fantasy it will be. Elves can still be a potent force, but they should mostly stay in their dwindling enclaves.

Orcs
Other Howard stories present Picts as not just declining but degenerating. The same thing happens to the Winged Folk in "Queen of the Black Coasts" who become winged ape men by the time Conan meets them. One of several origins Tolkien considers for Orcs is that they are elves distorted and corrupted by Melkor. Perhaps the corrupted part is the main thing, then they sort of degenerate on their own?

In fact, there should be more evil, degenerate elves in general; the equivalent of the Black Numenoreans. I don't want to say, "drow," but Gary's description of Erelhei-Cinlu in Vault of the Drow is pretty pulpy.

Middle-Earth with More Pulp

"Know, O prince, that between the years when the oceans drank Númenor and the gleaming cities, and the years of the Fourth Age, there was an Age undreamed of, when realms of Elf, Man, and Dwarf lay spread across the world like blue mantles beneath the stars. . . Hither came Aragorn of the Dúnedain, black-haired, sullen-eyed, sword in hand, a ranger, a wander, a chieftain, with gigantic melancholies and gigantic mirth, to tread the thrones of Arda under his feet." 

- The Red Book of Westmarch

I posted that bit of Howardian remix on G+ yesterday goofing around, but it's a serious idea: What would Middle-earth be if presented in a more pulp fantasy (not just Robert E. Howard) sort of way? You could do a really comprehensive overall, sure, where maybe only the names remain the same, but I think a few tweaks here and there would make a big difference. Just take a look at things that are already pretty pulpy: 1) a fallen age following the sinking of a "Atlantis"; (2) Orders of beings with some more advanced and others more degenerate than others; (3) a lot of ruins strewn about; (4) a lot of wilderness separating civilized areas; (5) Magic (to the extent it is practiced by Men--i.e. humans) seems the province of sorcerers who are engaged with evil forces.

So let's start with Eriador, also called the Lone-Lands, which is pretty cool, because that's where the stories do, and see how it goes. Eriador is definitely a "Points of Light" place; a former advanced kingdom where most of the cities have fallen into ruin after a war with a Witch-King.

Witch-King Cultists: When a guy named the Witch-King used to rule, I think there probably should be hidden enclaves (or whole villages) fallen to his service and maybe worship of Sauron or Morgoth. They probably also engage in sacrifices commiserate with their Satanic cultist behavior.

The Rangers of the North: The Dúnedain who struggled against the Witch-King were descendants of Numenoreans (like Conan was a descendant of Atlanteans). After their defeat they become badass wildland types organized into tribes or bands, I'd guess. They're about as much "barbarian" as Conan is, except they're in tight with elves. They roam the wilderness and hunt orcs and trolls (and probably those Witch-King cults). They could be part frontier lawmen, but also a lot like the settlers described in Howard's "Beyond the Black River":  "They were all gaunt and scarred and hard-eyed; sinewy and taciturn."

Replace the Picts in those Pictish Border Howard stories with orcs or Hill-men, and you've got it. Or replace Solomon Kane in any of a few of his stories with a lone ranger (heh), and that works as well.

Woses: Speaking of Picts, a couple of Howard's Pict stories are perfect inspiration for the mistreated, more primitive Drúedain. Check out "The Lost Race." Here's a perfect description:

"Scarce above four feet stood the tallest, and they were small of build and very dark of complexion. Their eyes were black; and most of them went stooped forward, as if from a lifetime spent in crouching and hiding; peering furtively on all sides. They were armed with small bows, arrows, spears and daggers, all pointed, not with crudely worked bronze but with flint and obsidian, of the finest workmanship. They were dressed in finely dressed hides of rabbits and other small animals, and a kind of coarse cloth; and many were tattooed from head to foot in ocher and woad" 

Hill-Men: Again speaking of Picts, in either Howards frontier stories or some of his other Pictish yarns where their degeneration is more sinister (after Machen) and less sad, the Hill-Men can be those sort of Picts. A little degeneration won't hurt. They're really likely to be those cultists mentioned above, too.

The towns: As to the civilized or more settled areas of Eriador. I strongly support MERP's idea that Tharbad (before it was a ruin) was a decaying city of cutthroats and thieves. A standard Conan tavern ought to fit in well, in any of those towns, too. Just substitute "Brythunian" with "Breeland" and you're good to go.

The humans are easy, I suppose. Next up, Elves, Dwarves, and Hobbitses.

Zyrd: In the Crux

The Crux is the cross-shaped area of habitation in the center of the tesseract of Zyrd. At it's hub is the City of Zyrd, the last city of note after the end of the cosmos. Surrounding Zyrd and villages and farmland built amid the ruins of when the City of Zyrd was larger, grander. Everything's falling apart, now. Chaos is seeping in.

In the northern arm of the Crux are badlands. It's a broken place where stone is ground to dust--and built up from dust, too, somehow. Things don't grow well in their farthest reaches. There are brutish people and brutish monsters than look like they're are hewn from rock. It's colder here, colder than it should be, and the mountains that climb the farthest wall are coated with snow and ice.

In the east, farmland gives way to plains. Winds blow from the great face in the eastern wall. Giant birds ride the winds as do cliff-dwellers on gliders.

In the west, there is the only sea in Zyrd. It stretches to a great falls nearly fifty miles tall that plummets into the dungeon depths.

In the south, there are jungles, then desert and finally the uttermost southern wall were lava flows.

All around the Crux, settlements climb the walls as far as the air is breathable and at one time perhaps farther. Some of these vertical settlements haven't seen a flatlander from the Crux in a generation.