The Metaphysics of D&D

"The wearer of the amulet is filled with Chaotic Evil, which is how I grew up so…"
    - Hunson Abedeer, Adventure Time!

In L. Sprague de Camp's 1942 novella The Undesired Princess the protagonist is transported to a world that follows Aristotlean logic, where everything is either one color or another with no mixing and shapes, besides the animals are all simple: The princess has hair that is primary color red; tree leaves are regular polgons of blue or yellow.

D&D as written often describes a world just as foreign as that. Even ignoring things that you could argue are merely abstractions for the sake of the game (like movement), you still have things like alignment (and in some editions alignment language), leveling, people with classes vs. nonclassed NPCs, clerical healing and the like.

I've read things in the past that posited a world where D&Disms got rationalized a bit (I've maybe written one), but discussion yesterday with a reference to the perennial "baby orc" argument made we think it would be interesting to throw rationalization somewhat out the window and play in a setting where the world just sort of runs on D&D (meta)physics.

We're talking about a world where some people start to develop superhuman resistance to injury and various abilities--and these keep increasing so long as they acquire treasure from underground hordes. Where there's some sort of metaphysical orientation to the universe that leads people to automatically acquire a language recognized by every member of the club when they join up. A world where sentients with lifetimes much longer that humans just can never learn to be better than humans in arms or magic. Stuff like that.

"But no!" You'll protest. "That would be really silly!" 

Sure, but isn't that often the case with D&D?

See?

And this would actually elevate the silliness by making it a thought experiment.

All kidding aside, it perhaps wouldn't be the stuff of a long campaign, but I don't think the implications of that sort of thing would be interesting to think about.

Quest for Chicken

This past Sunday, our Land of Azurth 5e game continued with the party stopped in their preparations to leave Sapphire City on their way to Virid by a request for aid from two youths: Tagg and Dynda. These kids are from the village of Ffalgo near the Sang border. They've been suffering form a famine that blighted their crop and sickened their animals placed on them by a wandering warlock. 

They have a desperate plan to seek out a castle close by in Sang where there is supposed to be a never-ending supply of meat, specifically chicken, waiting for someone to claim it. Sang is dangerous and the elders of Ffalgo are cowardly, so they won't go, but these teens hope heroes will try. The party agrees.

The party is the guest of the village overnight, then the teens lead them to the border where they can take the black road made of some mysterious, durable material to the castle. 

On the way, they are attacked by small, reptilian creatures operating a smoke belching siege machine of some sort. The party's attacks blow the machine up, greatly disappointing Waylon the Frogling who had hoped to claim it on their own. 

When they arrive at the castle, they find it isn't a castle at all but some sort of fenced complex. A sign names it the "Gander Foods - Chicken Plant." Their first attempt to enter leads to Shade getting an electric shock, but the party is persistent.

TO BE CONTINUED

Wednesday Comics: 2020 Holiday Comic Gift Guide

 Still looking for something for that comic lover in your life or maybe anticipating having gift cards to spend on yourself after the holidays? Here are some collections I would recommend.

Deadman Omnibus
Deadman has always been one of those deep-bench DC characters I have been fond of. Truthly, also more for the artists than the writing with the likes of Neal Adams, Jose Luis Garcia-Lopez, and Kelly Jones depicting him at various times. I already have the Neal Adams Deadman collection, but looks like I'll be getting that material again plus some never before collected material.

First Knife

I talked about this post-apocalyptic sci-fi series written by Simon Roy back when it was coming up in monthly issues and was called The Protector. 

The Goddamned: Before The Flood (Oversized)

This brutal, revisionist take on the Antediluvian parts of Genesis written by Jason Aaron is now on its second volume, but what better way to get ready for that collection scheduled for release in February with this version of volume where Cain meets Noah.

The Immortal Hulk Omnibus

It's surprising it took so long to get a take on the Hulk that plays like a horror story, but that's what the Immortal Hulk does. It's the sort of a "new take" on the character and his mythology that it seems like was more common in the 90s than today. 

Star Trek Endeavour: The Evictors

Episode 3: "THE EVICTORS"

Player Characters: 

The Crew of the USS Endeavour, NCC-1895, Constitution Class Starship (refit):
Andrea as Lt. Ona Greer, Chief Engineer Officer 
Bob as Capt. Robert Locke
Gina as Cmdr. Isabella Hale, Helm Chief

Eric As Lt.Cmdr. Tavek, Science Officer

Jason as Lt. Francisco Otomo, Chief Security Officer
Tug as Dr. Azala Vex, Trill Chief Medical Officer

Synposis: Stardate 5927.1, a festival on the planet Nraka celebrating its 10,000 year of civilization is disrupted by the arrival of gigantic starship carrying a group called the Sanoora who claim to have left Nraka to escape a cataclysm--and now demand the current inhabitants vacate their world!

Commentary: This adventure was based on issue 41 of the Gold Key Star Trek series from November of 1976. In that story, the Sanoora wind up attacking the Enterprise and so the starship helps the Nrakans drive off the would be invaders. Spock only discovers their is some truth to their claim in the coda.

The Endeavour crew handled things in a bit more genuine Star Trekian fashion. They discovered the truth that the Sanoora were indeed from the Nraka, and the Nrakans were descended from the people they left behind when leaving the planet. In a bit of diplomacy, they convinced both sides to stand down, and brought them to the table to negotiate a mutually agreeable solution. The Federation took over from there and sent in a team of real diplomats.

Weird Revisited: The Galactic Great Wheel

So here's the pitch: Sometime in the future, an early spacefaring humanity encounters a gate and gains access to a system of FTL via hyperspace (or the astralspace) and gets its introduction to an ancient, galactic civilization with arcane rules and customs a bit like Brin's Uplift universe. At the "center" of the gates is Hub, a place with a gigantic neutral territory station--like Babylon 5 on a grander scale. Hub connects to all the various worlds. Here's a short sampling:

Archeron: A war world, possibly one where a decadent civilization has kidnapped warriors form different times and worlds to battles for their entertainment.

Baator: The world of beings who (like the Overlords in Childhood's End) look suspiciously like devils from Earth belief, and indeed act very much like them, destabilizing worlds with Faustian bargains somewhat like in Swanwick's Jack Faust.

Beastworld: A planet where many animal species share a group intelligence.

Carceri: An environmentally hostile ancient prison planet.

Limbo: A world in an area of reality warping "broken space" where hyperspace spills in leading to a graveyard of ships.

Mechanus: Robotic beings out to bring order to the galaxy via assimilation. A somewhat (maybe) more reasonable Borg.

Pandemonium: A world only inhabitable in subterranean caverns, but even those are swept by winds that generate infrasound that can drive humanoids insane like the titular Winds of Gath.

Werewolf Trooper!

 

Art by Jason Sholtis

The werewolves were supreme in the 32nd century. Only the destruction of the moon final broke their reign.

Star Trek Ranger: Prime Time

Player Characters: The Crew of the USS Ranger, Federation scout ship:
Aaron as Lt.(jg.) Cayson Randolph

Andrea as Capt. Ada Greer

Dennis, as Lt. Osvaldo Marquez, Medical Officer
Paul as Cmdr. D.K. Mohan, Chief Helmsman

Synposis: Ranger is on a cultural exchange mission to Viden, an advanced world who has given up space travel for television. When the crew intervenes in the apprehension of a sitcom who tries to escape his contract, they find themselves the unwilling subjects of a reality show.

Commentary: This adventure was based on IDW's Star Trek: Year Four #4 written by David Tischman. It's a humorous story in the comic in the manner of the TOS episode "A Piece of the Action," though its plot bears some resemblance to "Bread and Circuses" in it's satire of the television industry. The player's certainly took to it in the way it was intended.