Friday, June 17, 2011

Mail Order Monster


Some unlucky sap in the City will find out this ad is genuine--at least once. The seeds for seven plant monsters will arrive, but there is only a 30% chance of 1-3 more than one of them actually being viable. One is quite enough, as it grows into a ravenous monster with a taste for flesh. Small quantities of blood will satiate it for the first 1d8 days, then it require small animals or the equivalent for 2d12 more. Finally, only human flesh will truly satiate it: one full body every 3-4 days. The creature communicates its needs nonvocally--perhaps telepathically--with its owner. Only the need is clear, not how this is known. It will not let the owner rest unless it's fed. The incessant need has been known to drive men to madness.

After 5-6 weeks the monster has reached full size and goes on a rampage. The oh-so helpful owner is often the first victim.

[I'd treat the grown creature(s) as a tendriculos from the SRD, or from the Swords & Wizardry Monster Compendium.]

13 comments:

The Angry Lurker said...

Goodness, weed killer is not going to work. Impressive idea though.

christian said...

I once had a mail order bride from Belarus and it was pretty much the same thing. She devoured my pets and thirsted for my blood. It took me a while to figure out that the mail order bride company was a front for insane cultists, who shipped out murderous Things for their sickening and perverse jollies.

Good times...

I never did get my Belarus lovely, though. *sigh*

Trey said...

@Angry Lurker - Never hurts to stock up, though. ;)

@Christian - I believe I could make a whole adventure out of that anecdote. ;D Maybe they sent you Baba Yaga? I met a Belarusian girl in London years ago, but it was a much better experience. :)

Justin S. Davis said...

And perhaps the only way the owner can break the curse of ownership (or, at the very least, drown out the telepathic bombardment) is to use arcane headgear fashioned by the great wizard Donaldus Posto?

These parchments may hold the keys to salvation!

http://tcmmoviemorlocks.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/vintage-masks.jpg

or

http://terrordaves.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/ccad.jpg

or


http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_sCGQaM9PnYI/TNDfnTYAT0I/AAAAAAAAAQo/Yt8OuyjXoTA/s1600/1966YB_BackCover.jpg

Justin S. Davis said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dan said...

25% chance of spontaneous singing breaking out in the vicinity of the plant (which is often named after a loved one)?

Trey said...

@Justin - Yeah! Man, I think those may deserve a separate post...

@Dan - Exactly. :)

Jay said...

I like it! There should be more monsters in the employ of PCs who invariably turn on their masters.

Also, when I saw the headline, I instantly thought of this little ditty I played and played on the C64--when I was a littler monster myself.

Trey said...

Now that's old school. :)

Needles said...

Weeds of crime & destruction! Oh do a musk creeper next! Awesome stuff man!

Trey said...

Thanks, Needles. I gave a capsule take on the yellow musk creeper back here.

Roger the GS said...

You're telling me - I once sent away for those X-ray glasses but all they did was turn the people I looked at into walking skeletons...

Trey said...

Ain't that a bitch! ;)