Thursday, September 1, 2011

Random Magical Junk

Never let it be said that hobogoblins are welchers.  Here's something magical from the bindle of the croaker (medicine man) hisself:

  1. A wooden toy gun. When aimed at a target, and the bearer says “bang,” it fires. The invisible projectile does 1d3 points of damage and has range like a small sling.
  2. A souvenir doll of a grinning man. Anyone who sleeps within 20 feet of the uncovered doll must make a saving throw or awaken feebleminded.
  3. An expensive wristwatch that appears stopped--yet somehow never manages to have the right time.
  4. A set of 2d6 erotic picture postcards. Most are mundane, but one of them can fascinate the viewer.
  5. An old kerosene lantern that, when lit, casts darkness.
  6. A wrinkled First Class Boarding Pass for the RMS Titan. If a person holding the pass concetrates hard on the image of someone they wish to kill, the pass will grow cold and damp in his or her hands, and the intended victim responds as if they are drowning in cold water.
  7. A cast iron skillet +1 against husbands (+2 if they are cheating husbands).
  8. A necrophiliac Tijuana Bible.  It draws all undead from a 10 mile radius to it.  Unintelligent undead are unable to resist its call; intelligent ones are not forced to respond, but may come out of curiousity or desire.  Undead tied to a specific place are tormented by the comics' seductive pull.
  9. A half-smoked cigar. If lit, it is particularly noxious. Everyone but the smoker within 20 feet must save or become nauseated.
  10. A wooden case containg a flea circus staffed by atomies, who can either be a help or a nuisance to the owner depending on how they’re treated.
  11. An ever-full can of baked beans.  It refills in 1d4 hours after being emptied.
  12. A roll of electrical insulating tape that gives anything it's wrapped around electricity resistance (absorbs the first 10 points of electrical damage per attack).

17 comments:

scottsz said...

Awesome collection.

Bard said...

These are all so cool. Really creative ideas.

seaofstarsrpg said...

A broken piece of white chalk that never diminished with use. You can write with it forever.

A battered, yet somehow totally waterproof, wide brimmed straw hat.

The Traveling Curio Cabinet of the Hillian Brother Circus maintains a collection of hobogoblin items. They are will to buy (or trade) for new items.

Needles said...

Very Cool.
A piece of red chalk that will generate a door to the nether realms when drawn on a men's public rest room. The chalk was 12 inches long but rumored to be broken in half where is the other half.
Only the hobgoblins know

Trey said...

Thanks guys!

@Seaofstarsrpg and @Needles - Very nice contributions. You know, I thought of magic chalk as well--something in a Simon in the Land of Chalk Drawings vein. Looks like magic chalk was just in the air.

Risus Monkey said...

A well-timed post. I'm going to try to work a few of these into Saturday's Gurps game.

Trey said...

@Risus - Cool. Let me know how it goes.

Porky said...

This is even better than usual. One or two are so subtle they demand to be used right at the heart of something. And no. 11 I'd be quite happy with - it's possibly the ultimate adventuring tool. And with that and no. 1 too a quick player could be near unstoppable.

Trey said...

Thanks, Porky. Yeah, #11 is the the secret winner. Not too flashy, but eminently useful. #1 is good, true, but a good gag or silence spell would end it's usefulness quick.

C'nor (Outermost_Toe) said...

If #1 isn't a unique item, it's broken with the current wording. It says "bearer" not "wielder", and so anyone who thinks about it carefully will buy a few dozen of them, strap the guns to their armor is such a way that they're aimed directly in front of them, and then do 24d3 damage whenever they say bang.

Trey said...

My assumption is that all the items listed here are unique, but you may do with them what you will, and take your chances thereby. "Broken" things, and munchkinism are the GM's cross to bear.

NetherWerks said...

This is a very cool pile of loot. Have you considered making this into a Living Table over at DM Muse?

Jeremy Duncan said...

"A necrophiliac Tijuana Bible"

Those may be the creepiest 4 words I've read in sequence for some time. Euuuuagh!

Trey said...

@NetherWerks - Good idea! I may just do that...

@Jeremy - Heh. Well, it's a succinct (but pretty much accurrate) descriptor of a comic book appearing in a dream a somewhat odd friend of mine had in college. I've trotted it out for use as the situation warrants. ;)

Jenny said...

If you get a chance, visit Julie Schulers blog. I think you might enjoy it. She has a crazy Etsy shop ... she does all kinds of art and her husband makes chain mail.

http://mygoodbabushka.blogspot.com/

I'm kind of scared now. I need to get my husband to go check my closet and under the bed!

Greg Gorgonmilk said...

I've always felt that hobgoblins are unfairly typecasted as burly meatheads. If anything, they should be like goblins but a tad larger and much more sinister. This awesome "junk" definitely ties in well with that image.

Trey said...

Thanks! For the City, I've recast both parties: goblins were replaced with hobogoblins and the old orientalist hobgoblins got relegated to the Far East (and renamed).