Secret Santicore: The Sacred Marriage

Dan Vincze requests from his  Secret Santicore: "Something involving hierogamy. It could be a scenario, a random table, a few NPCs, or anything else."  

Mikah McCabe is the wedding planner:

Suggested scenario: Our heroes are trying to win the friendship of an influential chieftain who has access to the [tastiest plot biscuits] in the land. When asked what he wants in return, the chieftain says, “A sacrifice must be given to the Goddess - she demands a husband each year as payment for the harvest. Provide us with a husband, and we will give you what you seek. Refuse, and...well, it is horrible luck to refuse the goddess. If you did, well, I’ll have to water the crops with your blood, I s’pose; the Goddess loves that sort of thing.”

Should an adventurer agree to the bargain, it’s time for him (her? The Goddess is open-minded) to roll a d6 to see what he must copulate with in order to perform symbolic marriage to the Goddess. Otherwise, I highly suggest having nearby villagers attack the party in anger.

d6 ROLL	OUTCOME
1	A small bear kept in a cage at the center of the village. Looks like you’ll have to fight it until it submits to, uh, “marriage.” (Fight bear until it is down to 2 HP.)
2	A goat. A very loud, foul-smelling goat that will follow her new “husband” absolutely everywhere, even when the party leaves town.
3	A massive rock with a hole in it - a piece of the Goddess herself! Looks a bit rough, though...(take 1d4 damage).
4	A massive apple tree with a hole in it; a not-so-symbolic contribution of seed for the harvest.
5	The innkeep’s daughter, Poppy. She’s fairly pretty, but rumor has it she sleeps with a knife under her pillow.
6	The chieftain's own beautiful daughter, Reona. Mind you, this is only a symbolic marriage to the Goddess, but the marriage to Reona herself is lifelong and binding; she’ll be wanting a sizeable house.