Bring Out Your Undead

There certainly are a lot of different types of undead in D&D and games inspired by it, aren't there?  As Zak pointed out in his Alphabetical Monster Thing, the D&D way seems to have been find a synonym for the name of a monster you’ve got, and you’ve got a new monster (e.g. ghost, spectre, wraith, phantom, etc.)

So what do we do with all those? Fight them, sure--or ignore huge swathes of them, maybe. I wander though, if one assumes all those undead types exist, what does say about the metaphysics of the world that includes them? Are the names distinctions without a real difference (other than game mechanics), just variations among individuals, or do they represent some sort of like a power level hierarchy in some fighting anime?

Characters might not know (or care) about the answers to these questions, but they might impact the setting in some interesting ways they would be in a position to uncover.

Any thoughts on the use (or lack of use) of the multiplicity of undead?

Warlord Wednesday: The Mark

Let's re-enter the lost world with another installment of my issue by issue examination of DC Comic's Warlord, the earlier installments of which can be found here...

"The Mark"

Warlord (vol. 1) #67 (March 1983)

Written by Mike Grell (Sharon Grell); Penciled by Dan Jurgens; Inked by Mike deCarlo

Synopsis: In Mungo Ironhand’s castle in Wizard World (the high magic past of Skartaris) Jennifer is trying to cure Rostov’s lycanthropy (but having no luck) while the rest of our heroes watch. Morgan and Mungo busy themselves drinking martinis.

Suddenly, Rostov (in wolfman form) bursts free from the magical energy that bound him and goes after Jennifer. Machiste and Morgan are unable to restrain him. Jennifer, unphased by the snarling manbeast right in front of her, casts a spell that somehow blocks the moon's power and returns Rostov to human form.

Jennifer decides that understanding the origins of his curse might help her cure it. She pulls shard of crystal from a small chest of Mungo’s. They can use it to look into his past.

Mikhail Ivanov Rostov, a Cossack, happens upon a gypsy camp where he sees a girl, Gitana, dancing. It’s love at first sight. The problem is Gitana is the woman of Ostrap, a man with a fondness for handle-bar moustaches and pink clothes.

So it’s a duel with sabers over a pit of snarling wolves. Mikhail makes quick work of his rival. He swoops up the swooning Gitana, carries her off to her wagon, and (in a bit of Comics Code approved raciness):

“The smell of blood mingled with the scent of perfume…And in that night they both knew love for the first time.”

There are trials ahead for the lovers. Mikhail is shot in the back by an angry gypsy. He’s near death, but Gitana performs a magical ritual to save his life. She must use the blood of a wolf to sustain him.

Mikhail recovers, and the two are wed. Soon Gitana is pregnant. When their twins are born, they discover that the magic she used to save him had a price:

Mikhail snatches up the bestial child and takes it out into the snow. He raises it above his head to throw if off a cliff, but he can’t go through with it. Holding the child close, he jumps himself.

Gitana is left with her one surviving infant—a girl. Rostov is the descendant of that girl and inherited (according to Jennifer) the “chromosome imbalance” leading to lycanthropy.

Things to Notice:

• Mungo yet again shows he has some source of knowledge on modern earth for his "humorous" references.
• The events in "the present" of Skartaris are really only a frame for the sort of gothic romance tale.
• The panels in the story of Gitana and Mikhail often have a tattered parchment sort of border.

Where It Comes From:
This is issue is sort of a gothic romance.  In keeping with that feel, Mikhail Rostov seems to bear a resemblance to the werewolf Quentin Collins in the gothic soap Dark Shadows (1966-1971):

"Gitana" is a Spanish word meaning "female Gypsy." Gypsies are, of course, another gothic staple.

Museum of Dangerous Art

A façade of steel plates and heavy bolts with a thick, round door, at home on a vault or boiler room, isn't what one expects from an art gallery, but then the City's Museum of Dangerous Art (Open weekdays 10 a.m. to 6 p.m., Godsday noon to 6 p.; Admission 25 cents; free on Loonsday) isn't the usual sort of gallery.

The anonymous group of prominent collectors (rumored to have been the shadowy cabal called the Unknown), whose sponsorship made the museum possible, are presumed to have had two goals: one was to encourage the appreciation and study of thaumaturgical artworks, and the other was to imprison these works where they can do the least harm. The collection includes paintings, sculpture, illustration, handcrafts, and film; the only requirements are that a work has some aesthetic purpose--and that it’s potentially harmful.

All of the art exhibited is placed behind wards or otherwise neutralized so that viewing them is not dangerous.  Patrons are reminded not to touch the art.

Here's a small sampling of the art in the collection:

Still [sic] Life
Title only given on typed card attached to frame.
Media: Oil on canvas.  Artist: Unknown, but believed to be van Snood.
Desc.: A bowl of decayed fruit which returns to freshness as the painting drains life from a victim (causes energy drain per hour like a hit from a wight).

Old Hag Quilt
Media: Hand-stiched fabric. Artists: A witches coven in the western Smaragdines.
Desc.: Appliqués in black and white show the successive phases of the moon interspersed with a nightscape where a female figure appears then moves to the forefront of the image.  The last square reveals her face to be a skull.  The quilt causes nightmares in anyone who uses it.  After a fortnight, a hag crawls from beneath the quilt.

Abode of Demons
Media: Marble. Artist: Unknown.
Desc.: A statue of male figure whose open cloak revealed distorted, demonic faces.  It's unclear what the activating mechanism is, but for every hour of darkness (sunset to sunrise) the statue is activated, 1d4 shadows emerge from inside the cloak.

Other malign works exhibited include the Damnation Photo, the Recursive Horrror, Grasping Hands, and Summer Daisies and the dreaded Sunny Day in Crayon (Queenie, age 4).

The Cabinet of Curiosities

I mentionted back in April that Ann and Jeff VanderMeer had another collection in the works bearing the name of the learned (and fictious) Thackery T. Lambshead: The Thackery T. Lambshead Cabinet of Curiosities.  The volume is subtitled "Exhibits, Oddities, Images, and Stories from Top Authors & Artists," which means it's enough weirdness to fill a couple of d30 tables of the bizarre. 

The book's conceit is that Lambshead has died and a cabinet of "artifacts, curios, and wonders" was discovered in his estate.  Famous authors (abetted by artists) relate vignettes and short-stories about these items.  For examplle, Cherie Priest details "the clockroach," and China Mieville reveals the "Pulvadmonitor" (and what it has to do with the British Dental Assocation Museum).  Other contributors include Michael Moorcock, Ted Chiang, Alan Moore, Caitlin Kiernan, and Tad Williams.

Some of my favorites are the shorter entries in "A Brief Catalog of Items." The names alone are evocative in many cases: "Bullet Menagerie," "The Decanter of Everlasting Sadness," "Mellified Alien," and "The Night Quilt, American."

Plenty of inspiration to be had.  Check it out.

Warlord Wednesday: Wizardwar

Let's re-enter the lost world with another installment of my issue by issue examination of DC Comic's Warlord, the earlier installments of which can be found here...

"Wizardwar"

Warlord (vol. 1) #66 (February 1983)

Written by Mike Grell (Sharon Grell); Penciled by Dan Jurgens; Inked by Mike deCarlo

Synopsis: Having stepped through the magic mirror, Morgan and Jennifer arrive just in time for Jennifer to stay Machiste’s hand and keep him from braining Rostov. She holds the combatants long enough for everyone to calm down so that introductions can be made. Mungo Ironhand is (unsurprisingly) particularly taken with Shakira.

Rostov and Mariah go off to have a private talk. Jennifer tells the others that they must prepare to fight the Evil One for the sake of the future. Mungo carries the Hellfire sword, but its gem is missing, so it’s without its anti-magic power. They’ll have to find some other way.

Meanwhile, Rostov tells Mariah how he came to the inner world to find her and hopefully to find a cure to his lycanthropy. So far, he has been unsuccessful in the second goal; Jennifer Morgan is his last hope. Mariah dashes his hopes of reconciling with her, as well. She’s in love with Machiste now.

When the two rejoin the group, Jennifer tells everyone that they must form an alliance with all the wizards of Wizard World. She has a plan to draw the Evil One from his lair so they can destroy his source of power—the Necronomicon. They plan to take all the remaining gold he so covets and place it beyond his reach, protected by a potent spell. Then he’ll have to come to them.

Sitting in his lair amid large (though not Uncle Scroogian) piles of gold and gloating to himself, the Evil One decides to scry what the other wizards are up to. He sees them hiding all their treasure in a step pyramid. He swoops in to steal it now that it’s in one place. He howls with rage when he finds he can't penetrate the pyramid and vows revenge.

Meanwhile, our heroes teleport into his liar. Jennifer uses magic to locate the Necronomicon, but the Evil One appears before they can grab it. Morgan’s response:

The Evil One isn’t even fazed. He entraps our heroes in bubbles of mystical energy. He demands they tell him how to open the pyramid--before he kills them. Mariah, begging for her life, agrees to tell him. The secret (she says) is hidden in the pommel of her sword:

Unfortunately, that trick doesn’t stop him either. He puts an unnecessarily convoluted spell on our heroes so that their brains will convince their bodies they’re dead, and thereby kill them.

As luck would have it, the Skartarian moon chooses that moment to rise over an opening in the top of the cave. Rostov turns werewolf and attacks. As a “mindless beast” he’s free from the Evil One’s spell. The Evil One blasts him, returning him to human form. The Evil One’s distraction, however, weakened his spell, allowing Jennifer to break them free.

It’s a battle of sorcery! Jennifer and the Evil One seem at a stalemate. Thinking fast, Morgan knocks over the podium holding the Necronomicon and yells to Mungo. Mungo uses his magic to guide the book into a pit of fire.

The book destroyed, the Evil One reverts to Craetur and lopes off. Before they can possibly give chase, the cave ceiling begins to collapse, suggesting the volcano is about to erupt.

As our heroes watch from a safe distance, Morgan asks why Jennifer didn’t destroy Craetur. Jennifer replies that the thing embodies evil, so it can never truly be destroyed.

Things to Notice:

• Mungo again shows he has some source of knowledge on modern earth for his "humorous" references.
• The Evil One isn't just a would-be conqueror, he's a greedy would-be conqueror.
• At first Jennifer seems not to be a match for the Evil One, then later she is.  Perhaps he just got the drop on her the first time?

Where It Comes From:
This issue largely ties up a number of loose ends from previous Warlord stories.  Morgan encountered the unopened black pyramid in the modern era in issue #31.  Mariah, Machiste, and Mungo first encountered Craetur before he became the Evil One in his volcano lair in "Book of the Dead," a back-up story in issues #41-42.

The Evil One's visual appearance is that of a devil or perhaps the Devil.  His lair also fits the common conception of Hell.  And then there's his name!  Given that Wizard World is inhabited by centaurs, dwarves, and other creatures of mythology and folklore it's a bit surprising a link was never explicitly drawn between the Evil One and at least the popular conception of Satan.

Dangerous Fairies to Know And Love

Blackwood's Guide to Dangerous Fairies is a novel by Guillermo del Toro and Christopher Golden that serves as a prequel to the recent remake of Don't Be Afraid of the Dark.  What's most interesting (and most game-inspirational) about it is that Blackwood's tragic story is interspersed with an (un)natural history of malign fairies of the world, illustrated by Troy Nixey standing in the the fictional Mr. Blackwood.  Nixey's art reminds of Guy Davis or Duncan Fegredo--which means it really fits the material well, even if it doesn't exactly look like the work of a guy (Blackwood) who the movie tells us that some people thought was "better than Audobon."  Check these out:

Croque-Mitaine: Bogeyman en francais.

This is an Oakman.  It has a evil Swamp Thing sort of feel, I think.

When tooth fairies go bad--the toothbreakers.

Just flipping through the pictures ought to provide plenty of monster fodder for fantasy, urban fantasy, or horror games.

Weird Days in Aldwood

Aldwood is the most isolated of the City’s districts—and not simply because of its location. Wooded, quiet Aldwood has been entirely overtaken by a fictional world.

Aldwood was a normal, suburban district until Midsummer’s Eve some thirty-four years ago. Perhaps not coincidentally, this was the night of the final Broad Boulevard performance of the musical adaptation of the popular children’s fantasy, The Magical Monarch of Mu. Aldwood residents reported hearing strange music that night, and laughter. By the next morning, the forest had grown thicker and wilder, and many trees had become animate—and opinionated. Stands of man-sized mushrooms had cropped up, and fanciful creatures were encountered with regularity.

Many of Aldwood’s residents chose to flee. Law enforcement was dispatched to investigate. They were naturally disinclined to negotiating the cession of the district with an animate, pumpkin-headed scarecrow, but attempts to reclaim Aldwood by force were repulsed by a cast-iron giant, smartly-uniformed elfin pikemen, and china doll marital artists.

The next two years saw intermittent skirmishes between the City and the invaders. Reconnaissance confirmed that many were identifiable characters from The Magical Monarch of Mu. Attempts to locate the author F. Marsh Loam for questioning proved ineffective, even with thaumaturgical aid. Ultimately, pragmatism prevailed, and a peace treaty was signed making Aldwood a reservation within the boundaries of the City.

Visiting Aldwood is allowed, though only through the checkpoints guarded by the diminutive and quaintly armored soldiers of the Monarch. Care should be taken to stay on designated roadways: The new Aldwood is somehow larger than the old, and it’s easy to become lost. Politely refusing offers of food or drink from the natives is generally advisable. Most everything in Aldwood is highly magical; “naturally” occurring soda fountains, gumdrop fruit, or moonshine distilled from genuine moonlight are novel treats, but they may also carry hidden risks.

Taking items or creatures beyond the boundaries of Aldwood is illegal, but collectors and thaumaturgic researchers are often willing to pay adventurers a handsome sum for specimens. Beyond run-ins with the authorities, expeditions carry a degree of risk. While most denizens of Aldwood are benign, some are not, and many are surprisingly resistant to harm.

Some scientists worry that the annexation of the earthly plane hasn’t ended with Aldwood, and that the bubble of fictional reality continues to grow.

Warlord Wednesday: Animated Interlude

My issue by issue review of DC's Warlord will return next week.  Today, take a look at these pics related an appearance by Travis Morgan and friends (and enemies) in the Justice League Unlimited cartoon:

A turn around of the Jennifer Morgan design for the episode by Zealand (Steve) Jones.

A cameo by Machiste, Mariah, and Shakira from the episode.

A rather barrel chested Warlord action figure.

Toward a Taxonomy of Magic

Discussion last week got me to thinking (tangentially) about different magic systems in media and how they might be categorizes. Maybe taking a closer look at these sorts of models might suggest variations for gaming systems? This analysis is in the formative stages, so bear with me here.

It seems to me that on one side we have ritual-based systems. Spells in these systems tend to be specific, discrete entities with distinct effects. Some sort of ritual (of varying levels of complexity) is involved in their production. Effects may be flashy and visual, but just as often there is no visible connection between caster and effect, other than the caster's ritual performance. Magical duels are games of "oneupmanship" with canny spell choice winning the day.  Various ritual magic systems in the real world are examples of this, as are many popular rpg systems. Card-based systems of various manga and anime (and the card games they support) would probably be a variant. Interestingly, this sort of system is otherwise not particularly common in media.

On the other end of the spectrum are energy-based systems. These portray magic as some force to be manipulated and wielded. Effects tend be very visible. There may be talk of spells or “cants” or “weaves,” but these tend to be portrayed more like maneuvers or techniques rather than strict formula. Magical duels are marked by a concern with the comparative "power levels" of the participant, not in the advantageousness or disadvantageousness of the spells they choose to employ.  Most comic book mages (outside of John Constantine) wield this kind of magic--and so does Green Lantern, for that matter. Many literary mages are off this type: The Aes Sedai in the Wheel of Time series, the Schoolmen in R. Scott Bakker’s Three Seas novels, and the Warren-tapping mages of Erikson’s Malazan Book of the Fallen series are all examples.

Of course, it’s a spectrum with many systems showing some elements of both. Also, what characters say about there system is often not completely congruent with how they appear to work; Doctor Strange mentions a lot of spells and rituals, but the appearance of this magic tends to be energy manipulation. Still, I haven’t been been able to think of one so far that does seem to fit. Obviously, there are other parameters to consider--external versus internal power source, for instances--but I think this divide is the most generalizable.

You Might Not Be Afraid of the Dark

I saw the long-awaited (I attended a teaser panel on it at Comic-Con in 2010) remake of Don’t be Afraid of the Dark this weekend. It was directed by Troy Nixey (the artist on Dark Horse’s Jenny Finn) but bears the obvious stamp of script-writer and producer Guillermo del Toro.

In brief, both versions involve a couple moving into an old house where a basement fireplace ash-pit door is opened and tiny, malevolent creatures are released (these are, as Roger points out, the obvious inspiration for Fiend Folio’s meenlocks). The creatures set their sights on the one who freed them--a young housewife in the original, a little girl in the remake--and cajole then terrorize before making their move.

The remake has better special effects and more atmosphere, but doesn’t have the same sort of unsettling, ruthless economy of the original. Of course, I saw the original when I was much younger, so it might not evoke the same dread in someone seeing it as an adult for the first time. The remake seems like Nixey and del Toro set out to make a film that could scar the psyches of a new generation of kids, but the MPAA stymied that a bit with an R-rating.

Many of the changes are del Toro’s usual preoccupations. The creatures of the film are explicitly fairies and they have a taste for teeth (recalling the “tooth fairies” of Hellboy II). The grounds of the Blackwood Manor recall Pan’s Labyrinth. These additions at once lessen the horror but add some depth by explicitly connecting it to the traditions of horror fiction and authors like Machen (who gets namechecked in the film).

If you like the work of del Toro or have fond memories of the original TV movie you probably should check this one out.  It just probably won't deliver the chills you remember back in the '70s.

Random Magical Junk

Never let it be said that hobogoblins are welchers.  Here's something magical from the bindle of the croaker (medicine man) hisself:

1. A wooden toy gun. When aimed at a target, and the bearer says “bang,” it fires. The invisible projectile does 1d3 points of damage and has range like a small sling.

2. A souvenir doll of a grinning man. Anyone who sleeps within 20 feet of the uncovered doll must make a saving throw or awaken feebleminded.
3. An expensive wristwatch that appears stopped--yet somehow never manages to have the right time.

4. A set of 2d6 erotic picture postcards. Most are mundane, but one of them can fascinate the viewer.
5. An old kerosene lantern that, when lit, casts darkness.
6. A wrinkled First Class Boarding Pass for the RMS Titan. If a person holding the pass concetrates hard on the image of someone they wish to kill, the pass will grow cold and damp in his or her hands, and the intended victim responds as if they are drowning in cold water.
7. A cast iron skillet +1 against husbands (+2 if they are cheating husbands).
8. A necrophiliac Tijuana Bible.  It draws all undead from a 10 mile radius to it.  Unintelligent undead are unable to resist its call; intelligent ones are not forced to respond, but may come out of curiousity or desire.  Undead tied to a specific place are tormented by the comics' seductive pull.
9. A half-smoked cigar. If lit, it is particularly noxious. Everyone but the smoker within 20 feet must save or become nauseated.

10. A wooden case containg a flea circus staffed by atomies, who can either be a help or a nuisance to the owner depending on how they’re treated.
11. An ever-full can of baked beans.  It refills in 1d4 hours after being emptied.
12. A roll of electrical insulating tape that gives anything it's wrapped around electricity resistance (absorbs the first 10 points of electrical damage per attack).

Warlord Wednesday: Through the Glass

Let's re-enter the lost world with another installment of my issue by issue examination of DC Comic's Warlord, the earlier installments of which can be found here...

"Through the Glass"

Warlord (vol. 1) #65 (January 1983)

Written by Mike Grell (Sharon Grell); Penciled by Dan Jurgens; Inked by Mike deCarlo

Synopsis: Morgan approaches Castle Deimos in the realm of twilight known as the Terminator. Painful memories come up unbidden as he sees it once again.

Faithful Faaldren leads him to his daughter, Jennifer, the sorceress supreme:

Morgan tells her about Rostov and Shakira, lost in the Age of Wizard Kings. Jennifer unveils a magic mirror to help them scry his friends’ whereabouts. Soon, he sees an image of the two with a centaur....

In the Age of Wizard Kings, Shadowstorm (the centaur) thinks he has a solution to Rostov’s and Shakira’s predicament: They need to find a good wizard. Unfortunately, those are hard to come by as the Evil One keeps killing them. They’ll have to settle for the 10th or 11th (whichever) in line for the title of sorcerer supreme—Mungo Ironhand.

A bit later, in Mungo’s tower, the wizard has just returned to tell Mariah and Machiste that he’s now 9th in line for sorcerer supreme! If the Evil One keeps killing at this rate, he just might make it to the top. Mariah and Machiste suggest the wizards band together to defeat the Evil One before he masters the full power of the Necronomicon.

Before Mungo can make more excuses an alert sounds: They have visitors. Peering into a crystal ball, they don’t recognize Shakira, Rostov, os Shadowstorm. They prepare an ambush. In the melee that follows, Mariah finally recognizes Rostov, but before she can tell Machiste, he appears likely to bash Rostov’s head in with his mace hand.

Morgan (watching all this in the glass) tells Jennifer to bring them back to the present—now! Jennifer replies enigmatically that she can’t--suggesting his friends may play a role in the defeat of the Evil One. Morgan and Jennifer will have to go to them:

Things to Notice:

• This issue's cover more resembles events from last issue (and last issue's more closely matches this one!).
• While her hair has been white since issue #50, we were never really given an explanation of how Jennifer's hair got that way from its original blonde.  Perhaps the shock of her encounter with Deimos?
• Mungo Ironhand seems a rather poorly regarded wizard.

Where It Comes From:
The title references the use of the magic mirror to watch most of the action of the story.  It may have been suggested by the title of Through the Looking-Glass, and What Alice Found There (1871) by Lewis Carroll.

Pulp Planet Maps

Tired of NASA harshing your pulp buzz with "real" images of the solar system?  Well, Edmond "World-Wrecker" Hamilton has got what you need.  Here are some maps of some familiar worlds from his Captain Future series as presented in An Atlas of Fantasy. 

Leave your so-called "reality-based" planetary science at home, and make sure your rocket has the approriate sheen:

The Diamond Planet Heist!

Astronomers have discovered a planet 4000 light-years away orbiting a neutron star every two hours that appears to be composed of diamond.  Read the details here.

Could you ask for a better science ficiton/space opera adventure locale?  It could be a ritzy casino world full of sauve spies like something out of a Bond film or novel.  Or you could do a swinging sci-fi heist film, like a space opera Ocean's 11.  Maybe it's a glitzy disco world like something you might have seen on the 80s Buck Rogers if it had had a bigger budget?

Of course, one could go against all those diamond associations.  Doctor Who has a "crystalline world" in the episode "Midnight" and that's a horror story.

'Twas Beauty that Killed the Efreet

Well, that and magical lightning bolts.  And airplanes.

Anyway, here's an excerpt from a Weird Adventures take on the cover illo of the AD&D Dungeon Masters Guide--which includes adding liberal amounts of King Kong.  This was realized by the very talented Adam Moore, and you can see a color version on his deviantart site.  Check it out.

On the subject of Weird Adventures, I'm trying to get over this last writing hill (the neighborhoods of middle and upper Empire Island)--which means I may not be around as much posting or commenting the next week or so; we'll see.

In the mean time, stroll over to Gorgonmilk and add your own creative items to the inventory of "Stuff You Might Find in a Goblin Market." 

While I'm plugging, let me suggest you take a drink from the seemingly bottomless and most definitely spiked punch bowl of weird science fantasy that is the Swords & Stitchery blog.  Needles' preoccupations with fungus, parasites, genre b-movies, and general weirdness may strain his sanity, but it's all for your benefit.  Check it out.

The Stalker

If you should find yourself in the City on a lonely railway platform in the wee hours or taking a night train across the dark countryside, you may happen to get the sensation you’re being watched. That may mean you have reason to be afraid.

Travelers in similar situations have looked to see the vague shape of what might be a fellow traveler clinging to the shadows of the platform, or have seen a gaunt figure receding in the distance as the train passes, its eyes glowing like signal lights.

The rail stalker appears to select his prey at random, but once he has done so he always lets the hapless traveler glimpse him at least once. The next time the victim sees the creature’s pale, naked, and emaciated form may be when he strikes.

The creature (it is unclear if there is more than one) attacks by opening his mouth absurdly wide in a caricature of a scream and emitting a sound or vibration. Things directly in its path may be damage as if thousands of years of erosion took place in a single moment, concentrated in a narrow area. Those nearby but not directly in the path describe a sudden wave of fear and a mind numbing hum. The stalker prefers to kill by embracing his victim and deilvering a kiss—a kiss that sends his deadly vibration through the victim’s body, turning bone to powder and liquifying organs.

Some thaumaturgists believe the sound made by the rail stalker is a sound from the end of the material universe, the wail of of inevitable armageddon that the rail stalker somehow carries in his withered frame. And aches to share with others.

[The rail stalker is, of course, a modern/near-modern horror riff on Fiend Folio’s Dune Stalker and resembles that creature in game particulars.  'Cause a naked, clawed dude trying to kiss you in a subway station is scarier than one in a desert, maybe.]

Warlord Wednesday: DC Invades Skartaris

I've mentioned before how Crisis on Infinite Earths brought the Warlord (originally conceived as existing in his on universe) into the DC Multiverse.  Not only has Morgan made some trips to the outer earth of the DC heroes, those guys have visited Skartaris.  And sometimes, it ain't pretty.  Case in point:

Justice League Task Force #35-36 (1996) couldn't be more nineties if Martian Manhunter was listening to "Smells Like Teen Spirit" and Shakira moved into Melrose Place.  The visit of this proactive (i.e. extreme) version of the Justice League to Skataris is just so...extreme.

Maybe this extreme-ness was why it ended the very next issue.

A couple of years earlier, Warlord had an appearance in a better book, albeit only a cameo.  1991's Books of Magic #4 saw him rubbing shoulders with Vertigo charcters to be, and beautifully illustrated by Charles Vess:

The Teen Titans visit I've chronicled before.  The next superhero to vacation beneath the eternal orb of Skartaris' sun was Wonder Woman.  Writer/artist Phil Jimenez sent her there after a cabal of super-villainesses for a five part arc in 2002 beginning in #179.  Jimenez's rendering of Skartaris and its people is different, but interesting, and several of the Warlord cast make appearances.  The hitch is those appearances are pretty limited.  Morgan and Jennifer are off the stage early so Wonder Woman and her supporting cast can be the stars:

The DCU isn't done with the Warlord.  The internet tells me the new Flashpoint: Deathstroke and the Curse of the Ravager limited features an alternate history version of Travis Morgan, a pirate (clever given that Grell named him after a pirate). 

Who know's where he'll turn up next or who will be making a visit to the inner world?

Spaceman's Bar Encounter Table

“It was a motley crowd, Earthmen and Martians, and Venusian swampmen and strange, nameless denizens of unnamed planets...”

- CL Moore, “Shambleau”

This could be used with my pulp Spelljammer idea or any other pulpy space game:

01 A shifty human trader with a large, glowing jar containing squirming forms he says are solar salamanders--for sale.

02 Two spacers in aged flight suits.  They're of human stock but congenitally scarred from in utero exposure to poorly shielded eldritch drives and strange radiations.

03 Four pygmy-like “mushroom men"--fungoid sophonts from the Venusian caverns. They are deep in their reproductive cycle and close proximity gives a 10% chance per minute of exposure inhaling their spores.

04 A reptoid outlaw with bloodshot eyes from chronic hssoska abuse and an itchy trigger-claw.

05 A balding man with thick glasses and a nervous look sitting at a table in the shadows. If observed for at least a minute he will be seen to flicker like a bad transmission on a viewscreen.

07 A human child with pigtails and sad eyes surrounded by faint, swirling colorful lights.

08 A cyborg gladiator (his parts occasionally leaking oil) on the run from one of the L4 arenas regales two groupies with his exploits.

09 A scruffy prophet and his 1d4 wide-eyed and oddly-dressed teen acolytes, dealing in spiritual enhancers.

10 Blonde and statuesque Venusian women, neuro-goads on their belts, looking for a suitable male.

Lovecraft Birthday Gift Ideas

I'm a day late for HPL's birthday, but for next year, here are some Lovecraftiana for yourself or your favorite cultist:

In The Annotated Lovecraft and More Annotated Lovecraft, preeminent Lovecraft scholar S.T. Joshi provides corrected text and interesting footnotes on selected Lovecraft stories.  The first volume includes "At the Mountains of Madness," and "The Dunwich Horror," among others.  The second takes a look at some lesser (but no less interesting) tales like "Herbert West: Re-Animator."

Lovecraft: Fear of the Unknown is a documentary about HPL's life and work.  It's of a cable TV quality, but it features the likes of Joshi, Guillermo del Toro, Neil Gaiman, and John Carpenter.  It turns out its available to watch online through Amazon Video.

Cthulhu Fthagn!

500 Posts Ain't a Day at the Beach

But this illustration is.  Heironymus Gaunt and his moll taking the Hotel Elephantine on a beach excursion, rendered for Weird Adventures by the very talented Adam Moore.  Check out his gallery here.

In other news, Jim over at the Flashback Universe Blog has posted part 2 of my indepth article on the Fantastic Four from within the Marvel Universe.

Thanks to every one for reading, following, and commenting over these 500 posts.

The Henchman Life

“Don't feel like you're successful enough to marry your sweetheart?” or “Tired of being a wimp?” These are the questions asked in a hundred ads in tabloid newspapers and pulp magazines in the City. Then they provide the solution: Train to be a professional adventurer! Which is to say: a henchman, a hireling.

Fleischschild’s Institute provides minimal training in outfitting and provisioning of an expedition into the subterranean depths, a couple of lectures from burnout delvers with nervous conditions on typical hazards, and an exploitative short film masquerading as a cautionary docudrama; and the gullible and desperate are turned loose find work. They mill about the entrances of outfitting shops and loiter in adventurers’ saloons waiting for their big chance.

A few get it and rise up the ranks to lead their own delves and make headlines. Most die without anybody knowing more than their first name.

Here are some of the common types encountered:

1. Cornfed farmboy: He’s got enthusiasm and muscles, but not a lot of smarts, and a misplaced chivalry that will get him killed by any monster with a feminine form.
2. Specks: Not necessarily smart in the way you need underground, but guaranteed to have a head full of pulp magazine and comic book nonsense...Which can be useful at times, true.
3. Rosie: It doesn’t matter what her name is, if she could beat you at arm-wrestling she’s Rosie. Good to have around, but always out to prove she can do as well as man does--which can cause problems.
4. Choirboy: He keeps his rosary in hand and prays a lot--mostly to no noticeable effect. Divine intervention is great to have, but hard to come by.
5. Crazy Jane: She might be plain or a real looker, but either way she’s got a crazy look in her eye and a matching berserker streak. Comes in two varieties: gun crazy and blade crazy. Good to have around until she inevitably decides to make for the gates of warrior heaven and take you with her in her blaze of glory.
6. The Twitch: Twitches are always trouble. They’ve got some experience, but it only gave them bad case of shellshock. In the moment you need ‘em most they either start crying for mama or get the thousand yard stare.

Warlord Wednesday: Elsewhen

Let's re-enter the lost world with another installment of my issue by issue examination of DC Comic's Warlord, the earlier installments of which can be found here...

"Elsewhen"

Warlord (vol. 1) #64 (December 1982)

Written by Mike Grell (Sharon Grell); Penciled by Dan Jurgens; Inked by Wayne Howard

Synopsis: When last we looked in on Skartaris, Rostov had vanished through a portal opened by the Kaash’Ban while Morgan and Shakira looked on. Morgan recognizes the architecture of the structures he sees in the still-open portal. Before Shakira can protest, he’s got them swinging through it like Tarzan and reluctant Jane.

Once in the weird energy realm inside, Shakira and Morgan lose hold of each other—and Morgan is spit out.

Shakira lands (appropriately) on her feet and finds Rostov. He reveals he did go with the Kaash’Ban willingly. They told him he might be important to their kind, so he agreed to a test. He didn’t expect this to happen! Shakira tells him they're in the past: The Age of the Wizard Kings.

Suddenly, a dragon (of the firebreathing variety) attacks them. After a bit of a chase, the dragon snatches them up in its talons and flies away. Just before he drops them , Rostov is able to get his sword free and stabs the dragon in its underbelly.

They fall on to a cliff. The dragon seems ready to attack, but unexpectedly falls over dead. Then, they hear a voice behind them:

Shakira ask what he means by “loyalties.” The centaur’s surprised, but that response convinces him they’re probably harmless enough. He’s got the very D&D name of Eran Shadowstorm, and he’s been tracking creatures of the Evil One like this dragon. He offers them a ride off the mountain in exchange for their story.

Back in the present, Morgan’s found by the Kaash’Ban. They tell him they didn’t know what would happen with Rostov, only what had to be done. They show him a medallion:

Morgan intends to find his friends. He rides for Castle Deimos..

Things to Notice:

• We get another hint at Shakira's past.
• The pink dragon's membranous wings are so riddled with holes, he most definitely flies by magic.

Where It Comes From:

The title of this issue may have been inspired by a 1941 Robert Heinlein novella of the same name about travel to parallel universes, or perhaps it's just coincidence.