From Bilbo to Conan

There used to be a site Nova Notes run by Al Schroeder that contained his Wold Newton-ish "Schroeder's Speculations." It's gone now, but I managed to dig up some gold from its heyday: a timeline combining the Lord of the Rings and Conan. Here's Schroeder's opening paragraph:

There are two major texts, at least, that deal with civilizations that existed in what today's anthropologists call prehistory: one is the Red Book of Westmarch, on which Professor Tolkien based his Lord of the Rings. The other is the Nemedian Chronicles, which deals both with the "Pre-Cataclysmic" age and the Hyborian Age, on which Robert E. Howard based his Kull and Conan stories. Looking into real prehistory, about the only place you can fit the over seven thousand years of Tolkien's history and eight thousand years of Howard's history, and have Cro-Magnon man functioning in a non-glacial environment, is in the relatively warm period of 50,000 to 25,000 years ago. Besides, as you'll see below, there is good reason, taking Tolkien at his word, to date the "awakening of the elves" as when the Big Dipper/Great Bear formed. Certainly, it is one of the few events that can be dated to our timelines...

 Check out the rest of Schroeder's rationale and his timeline here.

Secret Santicore: Paradoxical Daemons

Dallas M. asks for "an encounter based around a paradox." Through the magic of Secret Santicore, Gus L obliges: 

It's a fact known to devotees of the forbidden arts, cultists of the Church of Starry Wisdom, Psychonauts and others that have congress with entities and powers from beyond the realms of normal space and time; that the mundane world (despite its seeming absurdity) is an ordered realm amongst a vast sea of chaos.   The entities from the other worlds (especially those devoted to chaos and strife) despise the orderly nature of the commonplace universe.  Often when these creatures find their way through the veil of worlds they simply rampage, but others are more subtle and fond of paradox as the paradoxical reveals the universe's ultimate disorder and the futility of logical categorization.  Below are a few potential encounters with these paradoxical daemons and their handiwork:

Bridge - A stupid and malicious fiend by the name of Buri guards a narrow bridge over a torrent and asks the question "Answer me! Will I fling you from this bridge or let you pass? If you tell the truth you will go unmolested and if you lie I will dash you into the torrent below."  Of course Buri has no interest in letting anyone pass unmolested. If the characters answer his question saying he will allow them to pass the fiend will laugh, call them liars and fling them into the water preventing passage again even when they survive the torrent.  When he is in the right Buri is filled with supernatural strength and extremely powerful.  However, should the characters tell the “truth” that Buri will not allow them to pass, his power will be drained, as he can neither fling them into the torrent due to the truth of their statement, or allow them to pass as failure to hurl down the characters will transform their truthful statement into a lie.  Buri may be easily passed while he writhes in confusion, but will eventually figure out that to make the paradox work he can simply fling the characters into the water after they pass, though of course his power will be much lessened and they will have bypassed Buri at this point.

Sometimes a related, and even less intelligent, crocodile headed demon kidnaps children, damsels, youths or party members and offers to return them to someone who tells the truth to the question: “Will I refrain from eating my captive, and return him?”

Box - Some Daemons prefer traps and signs to direct intervention in the mundane world.  A common form that such paradoxical artifacts take is the twenty-two clasp box.  A chest of about 3' square and made of polished, engraved and detailed steel, with twenty-two locks on its front.  Each lock may be picked as a normal lock, but for every second failed picking attempt all previously picked locks will close and a blade, spike razor wire whip or saw will flash outward from the box inflicting minor injury to the thief attempting to pick it.  These traps are so numerous and cunningly laid that it is impossible to detect them all and a new one will be triggered with each failed picking attempt.  The box may also be smashed open, though doing so will require a blacksmith's shop and several days as the walls of the chest are almost a foot thick and lightly magically warded against direct attack.  Opening the box by force will destroy it completely. Beyond picking all the locks or forcing it open the box of twenty-two clasps can be opened only with it's bejeweled, solid gold key (which is valuable but certainly not worth the trouble of the box).  This key is always the only item within the box when it is discovered.  Magical attempts to bypass the locks (such as Knock or Dimension Door spells) will transport the caster and anyone within 20' of the box into a chaotic labyrinth guarded by the daemons who created the box, with the box key (and a portal back to the mundane world) at its center.

Should a character open the box without destroying it they will undoubtedly be frustrated to discover that the box's key is the only thing within; however, the box itself is a valuable extra-planar artifact and extraordinarily secure.

Beast – Taxidermy of Animalia Paradoxa or contradictory animals, are sometimes created by daemons of paradox, or animated from taxidermy chimera created by mortals.  These creatures tend to be found in the back rooms of dingy museums, as part of the wunderkammer of dissolute nobles,  decorating mad kings' treasure hoards or in the dusty laboratories of powerful sorcerers.   Each Animalia Paradoxa is unique (though several similar ones have been reported), but all appear and react generally the same.  An Animalia is a taxidermy, and usually a poor one, a assemblage of several quotidian beast masquerading as a magical one, or more rarely the remains of magical beasts stitched and stuffed into the shape of an unremarkable creature.   In every case the farcically bad taxidermy sits inanimate collecting dust until anyone within its ear shot (50' or so) remarks that the taxidermy is “fake” or was never a real animal.  Doubt of the Animalia's authenticity animates it into a violent frenzy where is rips and maims all life it can find for several hours, even after the original doubter is deceased or fled.  Animalia vary greatly in size and level danger, but all are immune to non-magical weapons, cold, electricity, poison and negative energies.

One of the most famous Animalia Paxadoxia, which has so far escaped destruction and left a wake of death behind it, is the four headed “weasel hydra”.  This monstrosity appears to be made of the stitched together skins and bones of several giant weasels, standing about 5' tall.  When aroused it attacks with its four malformed weasel heads and numerous claws, biting and tearing with all the ferocity the weasel displays during life.  Worse still, the interior of the creature is infected with a mold that produces hallucinogenic spores and the weasel hydra will blast a toxic cloud from its mouths  while it attacks, driving its attackers into madness and confusion.

'Twas the Fight Before Yule

Last night's Weird Adventures Holiday Special opened with our heroes (Don Diabolico, Cornelius Doyle, and Boris Brovksy) getting a visit from the kid gang known as the Hardluck Hooligans: Knuckles (the tough one), Da Brain (the smart one), Freckles (freckles), Topper (oversized tophat), Juniper (tomboy in an aviator helmet), Sunshine and Smiles (creepy, somber kids), and the Kid in Yellow (weird kid from Little Carcosa) and a couple of others. As Knuckles explains it, the kids want to hire our heroes to capture the anti-Yule spirit, the Grumpf.

It seems the Grumpf beat some of  the Hooligans with switches last year and they want revenge. They want the the creature captured so they can put him on their on trial. From a piggie bank, they offer some gold coins stolen from an adventurers' haul as payment.

After determining that it's genuine, Diabolico confiscates the coin they offer, calling it a retainer. How are they going to find the Grumpf, though? Da Brain has it all figured. His calculations predict that Grumpf will appear for the first time this season in Donander Plaza, around the skating rink.

The guys start planning. They get a big cage from a circus; and a net gun, a grappling gun, and one of the experimental electro-guns they used before from Hew Hazzard (which will cost them a favor later). Their lovely administrative assistant, Lola DeWytt, gets drafted be ice-skating bait. The Hardluck Hooligan Marbles will be another selection on the buffet.

Evening falls on Donander Plaza with the gang in their places. The Grumpf shows up and ignores the bait, but instead starts shredding the Plaza's 80-foot Yule trees (one that's magic and sings). Grappling guns, net guns, and electro-blasts are fired, but the Grumpf is only briefly hobbled. Diabolico is licked in the face. The Grumpf bounds away, cursing.

The chase is on! Diabolico is driving a motorcycle with Boris in a sidecar. Boris finally gets him with a net gun. Then the guys lay into the bound eikone with crowbar and boot. When he's good and dazed, the gang drags him back to the Hooligans.

Turns out the kids have a Yuletide dinner prepared. Our heroes join in. Doyle doesn't want to turn Grumpf because he wants to put him on display, King Kong-style, but he's overruled by the others. Our heroes are presented with their payment: five gold coins total (equating to about $35.00 each).

Thirty-five dollars each. Only Doyle makes any move when the Grumpf breaks free and starts switching the Hooligans. We "iris in" on a disgruntled Boris and Diabolico continuing to eat their dinner.

Warlord Wednesday: The Revenge of the Vampire

Let's re-enter the lost world with another installment of my issue by issue examination of DC Comic's Warlord, the earlier installments of which can be found here...

"The Revenge of the Vampire"

Warlord #109 (September 1986)

Written by Michael Fleisher; Pencils by Ron Randall; Inks by Steve Montano

Synopsis: Morgan is right where we left him last issue: about to be thrown off a cliff by one of the lamia Mortalla's mindless thralls. He manages to twist around and stake his opponent. At the end of the fight, our heroes have killed most of the vampires but only Morgan, Shakira, and Kbdarr (leader of the mammoth riders) are left. Worse, Kbdarr is certain Mortalla overheard them talking about the location of her magic amulet and is on her way to get it as they speak.

In fact, with the help of the enthralled Damian, she's done just that:

Kbdarr leads our heroes to the yurt of a shaman. The shaman does a ritual to enchant their weapons to help against the undead Mortalla will call forth.

Meanwhile, Mariah and Machiste are in the middle of the ocean after the bone ship and its animated skeleton crew fell apart. It seems the magic that was animating them only works up to a certain distance from Ummschal. Machiste thinks it's hopeless, but Mariah says they've just got to swim. She's getting really tired of Machiste's negativity, too:

Back in the snowy valley, Mortalla raises some undead from a lake to attack the mammoth rider's village. Morgan and friends ride in and take out a lot of undead, but ultimately Morgan's failed by a blow from behind and their captured.

Mortalla has taken Morgan, Shakira, and Kbdarr to a cave and tied them to stalagmites. She plans to dally with Morgan a bit before killing him. Shakira, though, she's got no use for: She orders Damian to kill her. Shakira appeals to the love they once shared, and Damian hesitates. Infuriated, Mortalla uses the amulet's power to blast him with pain.

While she's distracted, Morgan breaks the stalagmite and gets free. He impales Mortalla with a stake, but it does no good; She's impervious to mortal harm. In their scuffle, Morgan does notice that light reflected from the amulet does seem to hurt her. Using a feint with a thrown dagger, he knocks the amulet from her grasp--and turns it on her:

The undead go back to being just dead. Damian is back to himself but caught painfully between life and death. He begs Shakira to release him, but she can't do it. Morgan heeds his friend's pleas, and after bidding him farewell, drives a stake through his heart.

Things to Notice:

• Why doesn't Mariah's eye make-up run in the ocean?

Where it Comes From:
I forgot to mention it last time, but the idea of a lamia comes from Greek mythology. It's used here as just a more generically as just a "female vampire."

Moon Goons

Moon Goons get their name from their faintly luminous, over-sized, heads (or masks), reminiscent of the Moon, and their behavior. Beyond the similarities of appearance, the moon goons are not aligned with the Moon; in fact, they only appear on moonless nights--a possible indication of antipathy?

Moon goons are raiders. They arrive in balloons--or what have the general appearance of balloons--but the gondolas are slung from spheres of a dull metal, lead-like in appearance. Investigation of a capture sphere reveals them to be hollow, but does not reveal from whence they derive their buoyancy nor their motion horizontal motion. Each gondola carries 2-3 moon goons. They arrive in groups of 2-4 balloons.

On those nights of the new moon when the moon goons strike. They disembark from their craft, weird things of spindly, bone-white limbs, faintly aglow, and mumbling, unintelligible speech from unmoving lips. They pray on small, isolated villages or farms. The valuables that interest them are often not particularly valuable at all--at least not in the strictest monetary sense. Sentimental value seems the be the primary quality evident in the things they steal.

Moon goons try to put the humans they rob to sleep with the silvery metallic rods they carry. The slumber they produce is plagued by strange nightmares. Humans that prove resistant to their rods or harm one of the moon goons raiders, may find themselves on sharp end of their scalpel-like knives

MOON GOON
#Enc: 1-3 x 4  AC: 3 HD: 4 Attacks: 1 (sleep on failed saving throw, or 1d6).

Unidentified Guardian Statue

So I'm traveling back from a conference today and trying to sneak by with a lazy post--but I saw this interesting statue and was sure it had to be some some of living statue guardian thingie waiting for the proper trigger to activate it.

I mean, check out those eyes!  Anybody got any ideas what sort of monster it is?

How to Skin A Half-Orc

Or an alternative way to skin them if you're tired of the same old thing. In the tradition of my two previous posts, may I suggest you give those half-orc mechanics a fur coat.

Hairies are mostly gentle, primitive hominids living in communal groups in deep in forests.  Sometimes though, one of them goes rogue.

Ill-fit for the close-knit hairy society, these individuals leave the forest enclaves of their people and put their size and strength to use where they can. Outcast hairies are not necessarily evil (though many are) just too aggressive and individualistic for their own kind. Those characteristics allow them to get a long pretty well in the world of adventurers.

Warlord Wednesday: The Cold Night of the Undead

Let's re-enter the lost world with another installment of my issue by issue examination of DC Comic's Warlord, the earlier installments of which can be found here...

"The Cold Night of the Undead"

Warlord #108 (August 1986)

Written by Michael Fleisher; Art by Ron Randall

Synopsis: Morgan, Shakira, and Damon ride through the snowy wastes in a valley sheltered from the Skartarian sun (like the one in issue #9). Suddenly, out of the blowing snows, charges a group of warriors mounted on mammoths!

The battle is joined. Morgan tells Damon to protect Shakira as she’s without a weapon and “helpless.” Shakira takes out several of the attackers and saves Damon’s life. “Helpless,” eh?

Meanwhile, Mariah and Machiste are in the stolen Ummschal bone barge with a kidnapped wizard--and facing down a water elemental. All seems lost, but Mariah keeps her wits about her and forces the wizard to use his magic do something on threat of his life. Ultimately, the wizard relents and makes the elemental boil away. Our heroes only have a moment of relief, because then their boat and its skeletal crew begins to fall apart.

In the frozen valley, Morgan and the others make camp. Damon rides back to a copse of trees to get more firewood. When he arrives, he hears a voice begging for help. He follows it over a snow drift and finds a tomb. Slipping inside in cat form, he finds:

Amazingly, she seems to be alive. This is where Damn’s Hammer Horror-less lifetime hurts him: he pulls the stake from her chest. She rises and embraces him to thank her hero.

Morgan and Shakira start wondering what became of Damon. Telling Shakira to stay put, Morgan goes looking for him and finds him amid the trees. Damon attacks,demonstrating superhuman strength. Before Damon can choke him to death, Morgan gets his sword free and runs his assailant through.

Mammoth riders arrive and tell Morgan that Damon must have violated the tomb of a lamia. As if to prove their point, Damon gets up and runs away. The riders attacked before because Morgan and crew had unknowingly crossed the warning boundary. The leader of the riders tells Morgan the story of the lamia:

Eventually, the lamia Mortalla was brought down. Thought she was immortal, they were able to imprison her in the tomb. Her amulet was hidden by a shaman beneath a great tree.

No sooner is the mammoth rider’s tale done than the lamia and her forces (a group of fisherman she enthralled) attack. She Shakira is surrounded, and Damon is reading to throw Morgan off a cliff!

Things to Notice:

• There are 3 variants of this issues cover: newstand cover as above, a direct sale cover that is liek the cover above both without the UPC, and a newstand version with cover text.
• The scene on the cover doesn't take place in the story.

Where it Comes From:
The title of this issue is a play on Night of the Living Dead, the seminal 1968 zombie film by George Romero.

The lamia Mortalla may have been inspired by Clark Ashton Smith story "Morthylla" (we've seen Fleisher inspired by CAS before), but her costume is classic comic book vampiress, recalling Lilith, Dracula's Daughter, and especially Vampirella.

Rooke

This is Mingus Rooke, club owner, jazz musician, and former adventurer. He's rendered here in a Chester Gould-ish style by Lester B. Portly. Here's Rooke's stats in WaRP:

Mingus Rooke
Famous former adventure; Owner of the Blue Hound club in Solace

Black man, mid-50s, gone a little soft since retiring.

Attack: 2 dice
Defense: 3 dice

Jazz Musician, 6 dice (jazz slang)
In the Know, 3 dice - Well-connected to the adventuring, music, and magical communities. (he's always got a story)
Musical Magic, 3 dice - Can great various spell-like effects via music. Must be able to play his horn or another instrument to use this ability. Range is generally 2 x die roll yards, though this may vary with effect, at the referee's discretion..
Not as Young as He Used to Be - Any exertion that goes over 2 rounds results in a penalty die.

Clowns from the Clouds

There is, they say, a wandering, cloud island, that is home to clowns. These are no mere performers but the thing the mummers ape, fey and changeable beings not of this world.

Where the cloud island passes in it's maundering way, the clowns come down among normal folk, dropping from the sky under motley umbrellas, or sliding down shafts of light. They put on carnivals, perform farces, and throw out candies. After they have gone, people are sometimes found missing, particularly children.

Sometimes when the island passes, the clowns don't come down but instead drop candies of preternatural flavors and small items imbued with magic: a hand mirror, a short sword, a jar of skin cream, a pack of gum. There are rumors that these come in trade--or are perhaps stolen--from the Moon. There are tales spun of daring thieves sneaking on to the cloud island to rob the clowns' treasure stores, but as far as is known, these are just stories.

Other tales purport to come from people who have visited the cloud island and returned. These seldom mention  treasure stores, but do describe colorful tents scattered among cyclopean stone ruins (that may predate the clowns) and the rare tree, strewn with mists and carnival lights. The anarchic clowns careen between merriment and slumber. No clown ever seems to die, no matter what sort of violence is done to them. 

Sometimes, for reasons unknown, a clown falls from the island. These strange,sad creatures become wandering tramps, losing much of their magic and too often turning drink.

[Note: The Clown Island belongs to a world other than the world of Weird Adventures--unless of course, you want it there.]

An Update Infernal

The above is Mammon, boss of the Pluton family, ably rendered by Jeremy (that Dandy in the Underworld). More images of Hell's hoods are forthcoming.  I figured it was time to update the Weird Adventures Index with a the whole rogues gallery.  Check out these posts if you missed them the first time:

     Andras: "Hell's Hoods: The Owl"
     Avernus family: "Hell's Hoods: Meet the Avernus Family"
     Belial: "Hell's Hoods: Sin's Queen"
     Bifrons: "Hell's Hoods: Two-Faced Politician"
     Mammon: "Hell's Hoods: The Fat Man"
     Moloch: "Hell's Hoods: The Bull"
     Pluton family: "Hell's Hoods: Casino Infernale"

Carnival of Lost Souls

In last night's Weird Adventures game, the gang (this time consisting of Cornelius, Diabolico, and Loone) returned to the Carnival Pandemonium--but in daylight this time. Sounds came from the carnival that suggested it was doing brisk business.

Many things in the carnival seemed design to mess with them (well, because they were). Music and sounds were recorded, not real, but the record player they emanated from wasn't working either. The escaping prisoner targets in the shooting gallery had the faces of our heroes.

They decided to take a ride on the "Tomb of Horrors" ride. After passing several gruesome scenes of simulated torturer, they came upon a very real undead gunslinger. Amazingly, Diabolico managed to get a shot off before Deadeye and blow his gun hand off! Cornelius grabbed his other pistol with his bullwhip. The defeated Deadeye disappeared into darkness.

The gang followed and found a door. It was like a stage prop: just a door and frame attached to nothing. He could be opened from either side and led to...some place else. A place with three more doors. After some investigation, the gang stepped through.

Each of the three chose a door and opened it in unison. Colorful smoke came billowing out, and they were unable to escape it. Loone found himself in a another space with the wounded Deadeye trying to bandage his hand. Marzo showed up to tempt Loone: and to possibly absorb Deadeye into the palm of his hand. "The price of failure," he said.

Loone wasn't about to trade his soul. He managed to confuse Marzo momentarily with his mental powers. Long enough to escape back into the first room, at any rate.

Diabolico wound up in a space with Polly the Rubber Girl reclining on a couch. Diabolico might as well have been Boris this whole adventure. He started shooting without so much as a "hello." Polly was quick, though and wound up with her thighs around his neck, strangling him. Diabolico still managed to put a bullet in her and free himself. After that, it was easy to finish her off.

Cornelius found himself facing Chandoo the Mystic. The old man was seated in the lotus position, seemingly an easy target. When Cornelius tried to put his whip around the mystic's neck. He found that he wasn't anywhere close to where he appeared to be. He was using Eastern techniques to cloud Cornelius's mind! He made his whip appear to be a snake and Cornelius dropped it. His keenly honed senses allowed him to draw enough of a bead that he was able to wing his assailant. The mystic attacked more directly, but Cornelius was luckier and did him in. Chandoo's fake accent of the mysterious East dropped as he was dying.

Cornelius refused Marzo's offer and was released. Diabolico refused by shooting the Viscount. Again, Marzo seemed only mildly discomforted, so Diabolico punched him.  Marzo responded by putting a stilletto in Diabolico's gut.

Gravely wounded, Diabolico was tossed out the door to his friends. An examined showed what appeared to be blood on his clothes, but no actual wound! Loone used his mental abilities to help Diabolico realize the injury was illusionary.

By the time that was done, the doors were gone. The carnival now seemed utterly mundane and run down.

Marzo was gone.

Warlord Wednesday: The Uxmal Encounter (part 2)

Let's re-enter the lost world with another installment of my issue by issue examination of DC Comic's Warlord, the earlier installments of which can be found here...

"The Uxmal Encounter"

Warlord Annual #5 (1986)

Written by Michael Fleisher; Art by Adam Kubert

Synopsis: Morgan and the Hawaiian shirt wearing Doug are rising quickly toward the surface on a sky-sled, pursued by Skartarian Mayans. Morgan uses his stolen laser to blast away at the side of the tunnel, causing a rock fall that crushes the Mayans.

Meanwhile, in a secret CIA installation the destruction of the base by the Mayans is discussed. Agents are sent to Colombia to make sure it’s not the Cubans or the Soviets using laser weapons. In KGB headquarters in Moscow, agents are also dispatched to investigate the strange happenings, as well.

Morgan drops Doug off in Mexico after swearing him to secrecy about what he's seen. Morgan plans to head back into the tunnels and find some way to close them off. While he’s on the surface, he’s sighted by the CIA agents in a jet. They think he’s one of the Mayans. The pilot, Redmond, is a bit trigger-happy. He shoots a couple of missiles Morgan's way:

They take Morgan to their base to interrogate him.They give him a megavitamin shot to keep him alive (kids, don’t try this at home!). Redmond’s superiors find out they've got Lt. Col. Travis Morgan who disappeared about a decade ago, and they’re keen on finding out where he’s been.They give Redmond 24 hours to get them answers.

Caroline,Redmond’s partner, frees Morgan to take him to Air Force intelligence. She says Redmond has gone off the deep end and she won’t be party to his extra-harsh interrogation techniques. It’s a trick though: Redmond’s informed of what’s going on. And, as they steal an F-15, so is the KGB: game plan “Janus” is in effect.

Morgan flies over Uxmal where Mayan flying craft are emerging--a fleet of 31. With his superior skill at flying (and the “ultrasonic cannon” the CIA have equipped the F-15 with)  Morgan takes them all out.  No sooner is that done, than Caroline shows her true colors. She threatens Morgan with a hypodermic needle if he doesn’t fly out of the ocean. She’s a KGB double agent and she plans for them to meet a submarine. Morgan’s got other plans:

Caroline gets ejected.

The jet’s low on fuel, but Morgan manages to land if safely (barely) near the edge of a cliff. It turns out the Mayan priest has crashed there as well and he’s got a gun trained on Morgan. Thinking quickly, Morgan deploys the plane’s drogue parachute:

So long, high priest.

Morgan commandeers the Mayan’s flier (which isn’t all that damaged) and heads back to Skartaris, hoping Shakira won’t be too angry with him for being late for breakfast.

In the days that follow there's political fallout from the “Uxmal Encounter.” The U.S. President orders that information about the events remain secret until they know exactly what the hell happened. In Moscow, Caroline reports to her masters who reprimand her for losing Morgan, but decide to return her to her undercover work rather than send her to the gulag. Redmond, confused by events, vows to to not stop trying to uncover the truth.

Things to Notice:

• CIA agent Stryker knew about Travis Morgan way back in issue #13. Did he not tell his superiors or was a report misfiled?
• Ronald Reagan makes his first appearance in an issue of Warlord.

Where it Comes From:
The F-15 Eagle first flew in July of 1972 and was introduced into service in 1976. Morgan tells Caroline he's "cleared" for flight of an F-15, but since he's been in Skartaris (for the most part) since 1969, that seems unlikely.

This issue makes a lot of use of the Cold War backdrop, but 1986 was actually an era of lessening tensions. Gorbachev and Reagan gave televised joint addresses to the people of the U.S. and the U.S.S.R.  in January. Commercial flights between the two nations resumed in April of that year, having been suspended in 1978. A various meetings and summits were held throughout the year with an aim at reducing the nuclear threat and some of them led to lasting treaties. 

Mugshots from the Weird Adventures Companion

This ugly mug is the hobogoblin croaker (shaman) Cheroot. He'll be appearing in the Weird Adventures Companion along with several other adversaries for PCs, including Waxy Moldoon and Heironymus Gaunt.

Art for the portraits of these characters was done by Loston Wallace. Here's Gaunt:

Mobstrosity

A King Mob or Mobstrosity is a human swarm: a regular rabble changed by rare conditions to a strange entity of singular purpose. The people making up the entity never appear to communicate but nevertheless move and act with uncanny coordination. A mobstrosity never forms from less than 20 individuals and seldom more than a 150. It seldom dissipates without blood being spilled.

In game terms a mobstrosity acts like a swarm (and has the usual characteristics of such) except that it's made up of medium sized creatures. Any to-hit roll but a "1" hits a mobstrosity, but it only takes half damage from piercing or stabbing weapons. Attack from the vanguard or outer edge of a mobstrosity does 2d6 points of damage per round. Being engulfed or trampled by it deals 5d6 per round.

Mobstrosities are best defeated not by direct engagement but by removal of the thing that led to its formation. This is often a spell or a cursed item of some sort. When a nidus for its creation can't be found, it's most prudent to get out of the area of the swarm. There are reports of the peculiar madness of a mobstrosity  being infectious and drawing new members into it.

MOBSTROSITY
HD 15+  AC: 10 (see above) Attacks: 1 swarm (see above) Save: F1 (has certain spell immunities due to its nature)

Happy Thanksgiving

\

I hope has a great Thanksgiving! May your turkey be well-dressed.

Warlord Wednesday: The Uxmal Encounter

Let's re-enter the lost world with another installment of my issue by issue examination of DC Comic's Warlord, the earlier installments of which can be found here...

"The Uxmal Encounter"

Warlord Annual #5 (1986)

Written by Michael Fleisher; Art by Adam Kubert

Synopsis: Tourists are visiting the ruins of the Mayan city of Uxmal. One of the them, the Hawaiian shirted and plaid socks wearing Douglas Wendell, goes inside a building to try out his new camera and runs right into a real-live Mayan warrior!

A little while later in Skartaris, Morgan is doing a little early morning exploring when he’s attacked by Mayans on a flying platform. He returns fire but, there are just too many of them. They capture him and take him back to their city:

Morgan notices a guy in a Hawaiian shirt toiling with the Mayan’s other captives. There leader explains (in Skartarian, I suppose) how they've been building here for generations since they passed through a cave from the surface world and now they’re ready to return and restart the Mayan Empire.

The high priest calls on Kukulkan to receive Douglas as a sacrifice. An image of a feathered serpent begins to form. Morgan surmises it’s an Atlantean “hologram” created by the priest’s staff--though as long as the hologram's “energized” it’s solid-- and deadly.

Morgan makes his escape and grabs a futuristic weapon from one of them. He shoots the priest’s staff and dissipates the hologram, but there’s only one of him and hundreds of Mayans. Xtala, the Mayan ruler, offers Morgan a chance of survival: survive an ordeal in the Path of Penance, and win a boon.

Morgan agrees, but the king double-crosses him and has him thrown in the Well of Endless Sorrow.

Soon, an installation of Americans and Colombian allies involved in the war on drugs is overrun by the Skartarian Mayans. The Mayan invasion of the surface world has begun.

Meanwhile, Morgan finds himself pulled from the well by agents of the king. It appears Xtala has changed his mind. He wants to know the secret of the high priest's staff so he can quit sharing power. Morgan’s willing to make a deal, but the priest shows up, and it's on!

While they fight, Morgan slips away. He grabs Douglas and a sky platform. They head into the cave to the surface. The high priest won the fight with the king and is soon in pursuit.

Things to Notice:

• The Mayans' speech is completely intelligible to Morgan (and apparently Douglas) for some reason.

Where it Comes From:
Uxmal is a real Mayan city found in the modern Mexican state of Yucatán. The technology employed by the Mayans resembles that we've seen used before by Deimos and his ancestor Daamon with good reason: it all presumably has Atlantis as its source.

The Elves' New Skin

I did a post a before on putting a fresh spin on the classic D&D races by giving them a new visual.

So this guy to the left will now be one of the ulthona--who mechanically are elves.  Here's some other things we know about them:

1. All ulthona are male (or at least only males are ever encountered).
2. They swear (on the rare occasion their unflappability is perturbed) by "the Great Intellects."
3. They often seem emotionless and distant to other races.
4. There were only a finite number of ulthona intelligences created in the distant past. Each intelligence reincarnates when its old form dies.
5. Each ulthona seeks an object called an ojalv that holds individual meaning and can take any form.

Meet Carnival Pandemonium

After our last Weird Adventures game, Cornelius Doyle and Don Diabolico went to do some research to find out more about their foes. This is what they found out:

Marzo, Orlando Vincenzo Rodomonte Visconte di, the assumed name of an adventurer, courtier, thaumaturgist (or charlatan), and likely confidence trickster active in the latter half of the 58th Century. Some sources place his origins much earlier, but this may be only so much propaganda. His detractors appear accurate in their assertion that he was no nobleman of the Vitellian League, at least in the sense that no viscounty of Marzo is known to have existed.

Marzo’s primary attribute seems to have been his ability to insinuate himself into the courts of various Ealderdish nobles their his theatrical use of magical power. He has been derided as a mere illusionist by some, while others have embraced that mantle and championed him as the secret founder of the Brotherhood of Illusion.

Marzo’s fame was such that even long after his likely death he figures into legend. Several adventurers over the past half century have claimed to have encountered Marzo who sought to act as an agent for infernal powers looking to acquire souls. Whether these encounters are mere fabulations, the actions of pretenders, or brushes with an immortal magician are the subject of debate. [from The Practioners of the Art (Roodmas, 5802).]

Deadeye: Stage name of Jonas Early, a sharpshooter in Bucksnort Bill's Wild West Show. He toured with the show from 5833 until his death in 5838. Early died from infection after having been shot in a quarrel over a gambling debt. After display at the Wild West Show, his body disappeared before he could be buried. During life his life, rumor attributed Early's skill with firearms to a pact he had made with a devil--a rumor Early did nothing to discourage. [from The Wild West Shows and Their Performers (Weedle, 5877).]

Polly the Rubber Girl: Polly Ethel Leane was born in 5844. Gifted with unusual flexibility, she became a contortionist and dancer, performing in vaudeville theaters in the City. She died of an ether overdose in 5869. [from The Vaudevillians (Smoal, 5882).]

Mail Order Magic Item: The Horror Mask

This is another of those minor magic items that occasional shows up for mail order, supplied by sources unknown (and possibly extraplanar) for some inscrutable purpose.

When worn, the mask is unsettling beyond its appearance alone. Any creature below 5 HD viewing it must make a saving throw or be shaken and at a -2 to all attack rolls or saving throws. Even if a saving throw is successfully made the wearer is better able to intimidate those they deal with (bonus to reaction rolls to do so).

There is a 10% change (cumulative with each wearing greater than 5 minutes) that the mask will somehow become affixed to the wearer's face and only removal by magical means.

Carnival of Evil

In last night's Weird Adventures game, gentleman thief Don Diabolico and former lion tamer Cornelius Doyle found themselves confronting the supernatural as just a duo.

It started with a message from Philo Markham, a confidence man and friend of Diabolico. The two went to meet him at a waterfront warehouse full of circus and carnival equipment. Despite the fact they heard what seemed to be his voice, Markham was found dead. A knife in his back pinned a flyer to him: an advertisement for the Carnival Pandemonium in Rookend.

Investigation revealed there was a Carnival there, but it seemed old and abandoned--until they stepped inside and the lights came on. They entered through the giant head of a laughing devil. A show began courtesy of one Viscount Orlando Vincenzo Rodomonte Marzo. He admitted to killing Markham to lure "Team Victory" to him, and he expressed disappointment only two of them had come.

Diabolico shot the over-theatric murderer, only to have Marzo rise to his feet again after invoking the intercession of dark powers. Cornelius and Diabolic thought it best to retreat at that point, but the way was blocked by zombie roustabouts!

Our heroes were forced to retreat into the big tent. There, Marzo appeared again and introduced his confederates: the undead pistoleer Deadeye, Chaundoo the Mystic of the East, and Polly the Rubber Girl. He invited Diabolico and Cornelius to join their fellowship.  He promised his employers would grant them all the money and power they desired; they need only sign over their immortal souls.

Cornelius and Diabolico made a break for it. They narrowly avoided a trapdoor on the way out. Once out of the tent, the carnival appeared deserted again.  They headed for their car and home, determined to find out what they could about this new foe.

Warlord Wednesday: Bride of Yaug

Let's re-enter the lost world with another installment of my issue by issue examination of DC Comic's Warlord, the earlier installments of which can be found here...

"Bride of Yaug"

Warlord #107 (July 1986)

Written by Michael Fleisher; Art by Ron Randall

Synopsis: Morgan, Shakira, and Damon (still suffering from the crossbow wound) cross a rocky desert on the way to the legendary Greenfire Sea and the House of the Celestials where the wizard Hagar-Zinn is said to dwell. On the way they encounter hungry sand squids and a blinding simoon that drives them unexpectedly toward a lost city.

Entering the city,they’re captured by greenskinned men. The leader of the city arrives and commands our heroes be freed. He introduces himself as Wauk and his people as The Sons of Yaug.  They aren’t the least bit creepy:

Well, maybe a little. Anyway, the Sons of Yaug offer the trio their hospitality. They treat our heroes to a feast and offer them a place to stay the night.

Morgan wakes up sort of woozy, like he’s been drugged and finds Shakira missing. He rouses Damon to help him look for her. They hear chanting coming from beneath the floor. Morgan locates a trapdoor. They follow a stairway down and find:

Sword raised, Morgan leaps on Yaug. While Morgan fights the monster, Damon runs in and frees Shakira.

Yaug proves impervious to Morgan’s blade. Morgan has to improvise:

Morgan runs out of the temple and finds Damon and Shakira waiting with the horses. The three ride off to continue their quest as the city burns behind them.

While all this is going on, Mariah and Machiste are suffering at the hands of the torturers of Unmschal. Machiste watches in horror as Mariah dies under a volley of arrows in front of him. Never guessing it was a sorcerous illusion, he refuses to speak with Mariah who calls to him from the neighboring cell.

When the torturers come for her, Mariah overpowers one and grabs a sword. She forces them to open Machiste’s cell. With a captured Ummschal wizard-priest, the two run for the beach. They force the mage to re-animate the skeletal crew to man the bone boat.

The bone boat is launched, but the wizard-priest warns that his brethren will stop them--even it it means his life is forfeit. No sooner has he said that than a towering warrior-shape rises, formed from the ocean waves themselves!

Things to Notice:

• Unmschal is spelled Ummschal here.
• Yaug on the cover looks pretty different from how he appears in the issue itself.

Where it Comes From:
This issue is very much in the pulp Sword & Sorcery (and older Warlord) tradition. We've seen cultists bent on sacrificing our heroes in issues  3, 23, 39, 48, 102 among others. Interestingly, in many Grell-penned issues it's Morgan and not his female companion imperiled.  The dying race looking to breed and extend their numbers trope shows up in issue 18.

Blank

"The Blank" is the name given to an individual (or more likely, a series of individuals) responsible for sporadic crimes in the City. The Blank appears as the outline of a person; otherwise they are completely white and featureless, like a figure left unfinished in the painting of the world.

In addition his unusual appearance, the Blank is resistant to harm and capture. He walks away from gunfire or other assaults that should have been fatal. Magic likewise seems unable to effect him directly.

What is unknown to the authorities (and perhaps everyone but the person who currently has it) is that the blank effect is the result of a magic item:  A silvery dinner suit, flashy like something a stage performer might wear. When the suit is donned, the person wearing it can watch in a mirror as they "fade" into the blank.

Attempts to discover the suits origins prove fruitless. The tag is worn, but appears to list it's manufacturer as "NOX." No clothier of that name is known.

In addition to making the wearer unrecognizable (and having the side effect of distorting their voice), the wearer has AC 0 and takes half damage from any mundane weapon. Magical weapons deal "normal" weapon damage without any bonuses. The wearer is also immune to any directly aimed magic. Magics that deal damage through a physical effect (like a fireball) can effect the wearer at half damage.

While wearing the suit an individual is able to perceive the etheric layers of the Material plane and with experience, the near Astral. The kaleidoscope of lurid colors and outre images can be highly disorienting until a wearer become use to it.

Weird Days in the City

In the AD&D Dungeon Masters Guide, Gygax famously said that you can't can't have a meaningful campaign unless strict time records are kept. With that in mind, here's the basic timeline of the event in my G+ Weird Adventures, with special emphasis on the rumors and reports that might be of interest to others.

The current year is 3888. (For more on the calendar of the City, go here.)

3887
26 Swelter: From the City Inquirer:

"MANIAC CAPTURED! ELDRITCH VALLEY SLEEPS SAFELY AGAIN: Tranquility has been restored to the usually quiet communities of the Eldritch Valley.  Fennix Orgo, the so-called 'Shrike' killer, has been apprehended by law enforcement and returned to the Blufton Sanitarium, where he is to spend the rest of his days.  Orgo was responsible for at least seven deaths by brutal, bestial means, including the murder of Jon Wyllard by impalement--a grisly deed which earned him his nickname."

The Shrike will escape again in a little over a year.

Redfall: From the tabloids:

"It seems John Vandemaur, heir to the Vandemaur's fortune, has scandalized his family and the Old Money set in general after taking up with a former dime-a-dance gal from Hoborxen.  Matriarch Urania's blue blood has supposedly been set to a boil by her eldest's discussion of putting a ring on this unfamilied lass from across the river."

John Vandemaur marries this girl from Hoborxen, Viviane, after a short courtship.

3888
3 Bluster: From the tabloid The Tattler:

"SOCIETY GAL GOES GHOUL: A 'Wild' debutante has been getting a taste of the City's night-life, all right--unless the nightlife's tasting her!  We hear she's quite taken with a beau of the ghoulish persuasion.  Is this a case of love being blind?  Or maybe it's just too dark in Undertown?" 

The story refers to Sue Ann Wilde whose doomed love with a brooding ghoul hoodlum, Dean, will only survive a little over a week from this point.

16 Bluster: A group of operatives working for Celebrity Private Investigator Heward Kane are hired by Viviane Vandemaur to retrieve the body of her departed husband from Barrow Island (the beginning of the events of the adventure "The Night City").

Ripened: Cyrus Westerly died 10 years ago, but in accordance with his wishes, his estate has yet to be settled. Westerly’s lawyer and executor, Rothger Croston, has summoned the five potential heirs to the remote and decaying Westerly Mansion on the Eldritch, north of the City. It’s rumored the will has some eccentric provisions (So begins the events of the adventure "Night of the Shrike.")

After the positive press Don Diabolico, Boris Brovsky, and Erskine Loone get from solving the Westerly case, Heward Kane makes them a franchise of his agency and sets them up with their own office near Pentacle Park.

Soon after, the events of the adventure "Heart of the Machine" begin.

2 Harvest: From the City Herald:

"SOON PLANES MAY FLY THEMSELVES: Hew Hazzard, owner and chief officer of Zephyrus Aerocraft, announced the appointment of Silas Atwill to lead the coordination of his Automata Division. Hazzard spoke of his vision of automata flown aircraft and flying devices that could aid mankind in a myriad of ways. 

Dr Atwill has been an engineer with Zephyrus Aircraft for several years and a member of Mr. Hazzard's "inner circle" of innovators."

3 Harvest: Erness "Snuffy" Smite, caretaker at the Greasy Lake Scrapyard, is found dead along with his wife and two teenage children. There is evidence that they all suffered from wereratism.

7 Harvest: Zephyrus Aerocraft is assaulted by automata.

The Midnight Hour

The Midnight Hour is a stolen fragment of time: 60 illicit minutes secreted away in an antique pocket watch with a "man in the moon" hunter case. The captured hour is from eleven to midnight, hence the name.

The watch doesn't keep regular time. Instead, when the watch is wound, it uses up the stolen minutes. The user does so by winding the watch, closing it's lid, then re-opening it. Until the lid is closed again, the watch ticks down the captured hour. Though the hour proceeds normally for the possessor the world beyond is at a standstill, frozen in time. Frozen except for one thing: The sky turns to night for the duration of the watch's operation.

If the stories are to be believed, it pays to be cautious and only use a minute or two at the time. Weird things from the Astral Plane seep in between the moments as the Midnight Hour slips by.  They're drawn to the watch like moths to a flame. They have strange names: the Velveteen Horror, the Creeping Doomster, the Loneliness That Grins, Something Ugly, The Hole in the All, the Pain that Remembers, the Silence Between Sobs, She Loves Not--and others, found in obscure texts. No one has ever seen one and been able to describe it beyond vague, fear-informed impressions. Those owners of the watch they get a hold of are never seen again in living human form.

The other caution given regarding the Midnight Hour is that every minute used is an hour taken off the possessor's life. These are not just shaved from one's last days; they are sometimes pivotal moments, perhaps, taken from random points in a person's life. To use the watch is to gamble the time it grants against what might be lost.

The Machineries of Night

In last night's G+ Weird Adventures game, our heroes returned to Zephyrus Aerocraft to find the place had been attacked by more automata. Diabolico, impulsive as ever, drove his car into one of the tarrying constructs, destroying it and catching a second on fire--but also destroying his roadster!

Hazzard told them the cultists and their automata dug up from underneath his lab.  They broke into the geodesic dome structure and stole the heartspring.  They now had all they needed to resurrect the Machineries of Night.

The team was determined to go after them.  Hazzard supplied them each with an experimental electroblaster rifle to destroy automata. They only had 5 charges each. He also gave them a couple of concussive grenades and a grappling hook gun.

Following the tunnel they encountered a few Eisenmensch, which they made short work of.  Finally, they arrive in a large chamber where the automata were dumping the Machineries of Night (brought from Greasy Lake, no doubt) from their holds into a pit. The mysterious Master stood above it with the dodecahedron. More Eisenmensch were on hand, as well. The glittering, minute cogs of the Machineries moved as if stirred by dust devils that began to grow larger.

The gang went on the attack, blasting Eisenmensch and automata with the electroblasters. Not being use to the weapons, they missed as often as they hit and soon they were out of shots.  Still, the Eisenmensch weren't a much for them and were soon down. But the Master remained.

Playing a hunch, Loone confronted the Master about the attempted murder of Carmody, calling the mysterious figure "Olimpia." With face-mask removed, the Master was revealed as Carmody's beautiful automaton. She claimed that Carmody had not been murdered but had surrendered his body willing to gain an immortal artificial body in service of the Machineries of Night. His brain was traumatized by the procedure and he lost his memory.

In the ensuing battle, Boris shot the dodecahedron from her hand and Diabolico managed to turn a botched attack into a chance to grab the device. Olimpia attacked him to retrieve it.  Shots from Boris and Cornelius damaged and distracted her, allowing Diabolico the chance to snatch her energy rod from her.

He used it's disintegration beam to destroy the dodecahedron (greatly wounding himself in the ensuing explosion) while Boris killed Olimpia with another shot.

Battered and weary, the gang turned the technology over to Hazzard. He also promised to take care of Carmody's brain.  Our heroes were left to worry what Hazzard might do with all this, but they didn't have a better option.  And there was the fact he promised to pay them and replace Diabolico's car.

It's a hell of a way to make a living!