McDungeonland

In the proud tradition of the EX series of modules, consider this isolated valley (or maybe a demi-plane) inhabited by strange creatures--some of them with foodstuffs for heads...

Stranglely, despite being part foodstuff themselves, the inhabitants cheerfully consume the talking food that exists ready-made in their environment: There are patches of cheerful "hamburgers," trees that grow apple pies, a lake teeming with breaded and fried fish, and even a small volcano which oozes a frozen chocolate beverage.

The strange land is not without its dangers.  There are small, bespectacled goblins ("gobblins"), shaggy and colorful, who will steal food from the unaware.  A humanoid of piratical dress and demeanor wll menace those who take the fried fish from the lake.  A masked humanoid thief in cloak and stripped outfit likewise steals food, but he favors beef.  Finally, there is a purple blob-like creature that can manifest two or four arms, who is sometimes benign, but other times may attack to steal the "shakes" which emerge from the volcano.  The creature may be some sort of "shake" elemental, himself.

Though not in a overt position of leadership, the secret ruler of the land is a clown in motley with a friendly demeanor--but perhaps less friendly goals.

Weird Adventures is Here!

The wait is over!  Weird Adventures is now available in pdf form at RPGNow and Drivethrurpg (so choose your favorite portal).

It's 165 pages (black and white with 4 full color maps) featuring:

• City Confidential--A guide to the 5 baronies, numerous neighborhood, and weird locales of the City.
• A guide to the Strange New World beyond the City, including the mysterious jungles of Asciana, morbid and insurrection-torn Zingaro, the gambler-haven of Faro City, and much more.
• Thirty new monsters from "Black Blizzard" para-elemental to "Zombie, Cuijatepecan."
• Adventure seeds and a mini-crawl through the City's largest (and weirdest) park.
• Art by old school stalwarts Johnathan Bingham, Chris Huth, and Stefan Poag, plus great work from comic artists Reno Maniquis and Adam Moore, among others.

For those of you pining for Weird Adventures in hardcopy, that's coming in the New Year.  They'll be a discount for the purchase of both the pdf and the print of demand versions.

Thanks to everyone for their support over the (longer than expected) time to do this project.  I hope it was worth the wait.

Wizardly Trade Union

It’s traditional in fantasy for thieves to have guilds (probably not like the Lollipop Guild above), but wizards may or may not have professional organizations. For every Mages or Sorcerers Guild in literature there are a number of lone wolves, like Merlin, or members of very select crews, like Gandalf and Saruman.

Magic-user organizations are actually somewhat attested to historically. The Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn and Crowley’s Argenteum Astrum are two examples. The line between coven, cabal, and cult admittedly gets blurry when looking at the real world; theurgy and thaumaturgy are not so cleanly separated as they are in games.

Fantasy literature gives some good examples. The Aes Sedai of the Wheel of Time where sort of Lensmen/Green Lantern Corps of a previous age, but by the time of the main story are more like a church or monastic order. The vengeful Bondsmagi of Lynch’s Locke Lamorra series are a like a mercenary company, protectionist guild--and criminal organization. The various Schools of Bakker’s Prince of Nothing and Aspect-Emperor series are practitioners/protectors of specific paradigms of sorcery and feel certain sociopolitical niches.

All of these could be good models for rpg wizardly organizations, but is there any reason to stop at just one? Mages in different cultures/locales might take on very different roles: anointed-by-the-gods rulers in one nation and mercenary hoarders of knowledge in another.

So are there magic-user organizations in your setting? What role do they take?

Tarrasque Harvesting

What do you do with a gigantic, immortal monster stalking the wild places? If you’re a daring and entrepreneurial sort in Ealderde, Eura, or even the City, you harvest the living behemoth for anything of value.

Nobody knows where the Tarrasque came from, though there are a lot of theories: Staarkish Kriegsungeheuer--it’s gargantuan parts grown in separate industrial alchemical vats and melded together by cunning biothaumaturgy? An eikone given flesh, collective animus of the saurian monsters of prehistory? Alien? Elder God? There are as many ideas as the Tarrasque has spines.

Wherever it came from, the monster stalks cross Eura from Korambeck to the Arctic Wastes. It periodically enters periods of turpor lasting days to weeks, where it crouches, umoving and close to the ground. These are the times when harvesters can safely climb aboard the monster with little risk of winding up in its stomach. Once encamped, they take adamantine-tipped jackhammers and alchemical solvents to its hide. They scrap off carapace to sell to armorers and artificers, jar its ichor for alchemists, physicians, and thaumaturgists, smuggle its glandular secretions to junkies and assassins, and even trap its lice for whoever is willing to pay.

Most harvesters ship out for a few months. They erect tents in hammock-like nets affixed to the monster's hide; it takes little notice of them most of the time. Daring flyers dart in to hook dangling bags of material for sale, and eventually, harvesters headed for home.

Exposure to the creature is inherently toxic. All but the best preserved (and least flavorful) foodstuffs spoil rapidly. Plants die within days; small animals may last a week or more. Humans can last months, but many harvesters find it prudent to wear lead-lined suits. Even still, cancers and neurologic ailments are more common among those that have dwelled on the Tarrasque than the general population, and harvesters seem to age before there time.

Warlord Wednesday: Home Again, Home Again

Let's re-enter the lost world with another installment of my issue by issue examination of DC Comic's Warlord, the earlier installments of which can be found here...

"Home Again, Home Again"

Warlord #74 (October 1983)

Written by Cary Burkett; Penciled by Dan Jurgens; Inked by Dan Adkins

Synopsis: Travis Morgan and Krystovar have escaped the forces of New Atlantis through the sea cave back into Skartaris. Krystovar suggests they need a destination and asks Morgan if he has a home. Morgan says that he does and adds that it’s probably time he returns there to his mate.

Morgan and Krystovar land at the port of Bakwele. There they sell their boat and begin the trek across the swamps and the Forest of Ebondar to reach Shamballah. Krystovar fills Morgan in on the history of the New Atlanteans. They came from a different city-state, apparently, than the Atlanteans that settled Skartaris. Nothing the healer knows explains the advanced technology—some of it marked with the symbols of the U.S. Air Force—that Morgan found in the cave. That mystery nags at the Warlord, and he’d like to solve it.

Camping in the forest, Morgan goes to sleep, leaving Krystovar awake to tend the fire and take the first watch.

With both asleep, neither has a chance to see the large black bird that has been following them since they entered the forest, alight on a branch above them. Suddenly, their campfire begins to grow as if taking on a life of its own. It spreads quickly and strangely to form a circle entrapping our heroes.

The rising heat wakes Morgan from slumber. He rouses Krystovar, who immediately notices the behavior of the fire isn’t naturally. Morgan isn’t concerned with that at the moment, and has Krystovar climb up into a tree. When they’re both amid the branches, Morgan plays Tarzan again and swings them both to safety.

As soon as they’re free, the fire dies away. Krysotvar again points out the fire wasn’t natural and asks Morgan if he has any enemies in the forest. Morgan’s reply:

The two soon reach Shamballah. Morgan doesn’t get the reception he was expecting, as the guards bar him from entrance, and his wife’s faithful soldier Trogero shoots an arrow his direction and tells him to leave Shamballah immediately.

Krystovar notives the arrow has a message on it. Following its instructions the two hide in the woods outside the East Tower. Trogero appears and lowers a rope. He tells Morgan that Queen Tara did indeed give orders that her mate was not to be allowed to enter the city, but he had to help Morgan anyway.

Morgan disguises himself and sneaks into the palace. Tara has been expecting him:

See? Anyway, she gives him the usual lecture about running off after adventure and leaving his wife and responsibilities. She accuses him of once being a man with a dream of freedom and progress for Skartaris—a dream he has abandoned. Morgan admits this is true, but he says he’s turned over a new leaf and he’s going to be that man again. And he loves her.

Tara softens a bit (as she always does), and says she’ll think over letting him stay. She pulls him into her boudoir before sending him away.

A little later, a self-satisfied Travis Morgan remembers the silver cassette in his belt. He ought to get read of that thing, but his curiosity has been piqued and he really wants to get back to that cave…

Outside, a sinister looking black bird wings over Shamballah, plotting.

Things to Notice:

• Tara falls for Morgan's dubious promises once again.
• Where does Krystovar go all the time Morgan is making up with Tara? 

Where it Comes From:

The title is a reference to a line from the Mother Goose rhyme "To Market, To Market."

Burkett gets around to explaining the difference between his New Atlanteans and the Atlanteans we've seen before in Warlord.  Krystovar's explanation doesn't real provide a reason for the wide technological disparity between the two Atlantean isles.

The raven that isn't really a raven is a character returning from a previous issue, but I'll wait for the story to reveal who that might be.

Those Who Went Remain There Still

Three hard-bitten farmers and a spiritualist enter a cave in search of a treasure--and find monsters. It sounds like a zero level D&D adventure, but its actually the capsule description of events in 19th-Century Kentucky in Cherie Priest’s novella Those Who Went Remain There Still.  In place of divine intervention, the ersatz adventurers have got the ghost of Daniel Boone.

The story begins with Boone and a group of trailblazers cutting a road through the wilderness. Along the way they encounter a bird-like creature that terrorizes them by night, snatching men away one by one. This frontier horror tale unfolds interspersed with events in Kentucky of 1899, where the patriarch of two feuding families, the Coys and Manders, has died and estranged family members are summoned back for the reading of his will.

The two stories intertwine, of course. To receive the old man’s bounty, a chosen group of Coys and Manders must enter the forbidding and noxious Witch’s Cave to retreive his will. There, a horror waits that was not truly conquered by Boone and his band over a century before.

Priest weaves a unusual horror tale that is sort of Lovecraftian (in the sense of being firmly rooted in a particular place, and having “normal” men face horrors beyond their understanding) but mixes it with a definite Southern gothic feel. The basic plot could be inspiration for traditional Medieval fantasy, but the whole idea of frontier monster-slaying is perhaps even better.

Check it out!

Weird Adventures Update

The Weird Adventures project is coming to a close.  The layout has been completed, and I'm in my last round of checking it over before unleasing it on the public.  It's coming in at 162 pages--slightly longer than my last prediction.

I'm out of town at a conference, but I thought the audience that's been awaiting this for some long with enjoye seeing another couple of sample pages.

Here's one from the section on the City:

And here's a page from the monster section: