Boggles Are Horrible

Art by Joel Priddy

Should you think that assessment unfair, consider this: When Zykloon, the Tornado Tyrant of the Land of Azurth, found them on a nameless island in the Boundless Sea their chief pastimes were genuflecting to leering, grotesque mud idols, assaulting each other with crude implements of wood and stone, deciding which of their young or aged to eat, and picking their noses. Zykloon gave them superior weapons and new enemies to use them on, but otherwise changed little else about their brutal existence.

Boggles are the standins for standard bugbears in Cloud Castle of Azurth, so they are statted like bugbears, though they have no chieftains to speak of.

Wednesday Comics: Holiday Gift Guide

Need a gift for a comics fan--or something to fill out your own list. Here are my recommendations:

The 6 Voyages of Lone Sloane Vol. 1: Originally presented in Heavy Metal (or Metal Hurlant), this volume begins the weird and baroque science fantasy saga of Lone Sloane, a man given strange powers after encountering a Lovecraftian cosmic entity and thrown into another dimension. He becomes a freebooter and Han Solo-esque rogue involved in various space opera struggles. Philippe Druillet has his own distinct style. If there was something called Cosmic Acid Space Opera, this would be it.

He-Man and the Masters of the Universe Minicomics Collection: Dark Horse has release a collection of all the Masters of the Universe mini-comics that came packaged with the toys. This compact, but weighty tome (nearly 2.5 inches thick) not only contains the comics from the original toyline (1982-1987), but also comics for the follow-up He-Man toyline, the She-Ra line, and the recent comics from the Masters of the Universe Classic toys--plus a bunch of extras.

Miracleman Book 1: A Dream of Flying: The first volume of one of the most influential comics sagas of all time, and the comic that pretty much launched Alan Moore to prominence. Back in print again.

Prophet: Volume 1: Remission: In the far future, John Prophet awakens on an Earth occupied by multiple alien species with a mission climb a distant tower and restart the ancient Earth Empire. Exotic and inventive, it's great inspiration for both fantasy and sci-fi rpgs. This was on my list last year, but I can't recommend it enough.

Mad Mirabilis Lum

In the Land of Azurth, there has never been a greater artificer than Mirabilis Lum. His most famed creation is officially  Viola, the Clockwork Princess of the Country of Yanth, but she is far from the only wonder he created or even the first.

Lum enters history already in command of his fabulous Walking Castle. What country bred him, and where he learned the arts he practiced are unknown. Striding across Yanth, and perhaps into Sang and Virid, he sought out learned folk with whom to collaborate and hungry markets on which to test his newest inventions. That in Yanth the hostilities between Purpure and Or often meant his creations were put to military use is not entirely his fault, but admittedly, he does not seem to have been overly concerned. He would as soon build clockwork knights as self-propelling plows; He could be as enthusiastic about creating nightmare bombs as learning pills.

Some called him mad even then, but in those days he was really only singleminded and a bit thoughtless. It was when he turned his genius to the problem of death--specifically his own death--that things went awry. Some claim he developed a "Spirit-Phone" for communicating with the dead (if so, he destroyed it soon after) ,and from that point he became obsessed.

He laid cunning electrical traps for Death around the dying. He consulted every showy medium, dour necromancer, and reclusive witch he could find so they could issue challenges to Death on his behalf. If it heard, Death never deigned to participate in games of chess or backgammon or any other contest Lum suggested.

Lum brought his castle to a rest then partially dismantled it. He and his automata helpers constructed underground laboratories beneath it. Once that task was done, Lum was never seen in person again, but for years a tower stood in the crumbling remains of the castle emblazoned with a giant, clockwork replica of his face that would occasionally come to life and utter portentous sounding remarks in a booming voice, as arcs of electricity dance and climbed in the space between two antennae above. The people of Riverton worshiped it as a god, at times, and cursed it for a devil at others, but that all ended when the Wizard of Azurth came and installed the Princess as ruler, toppling the confusing relics of the past.

Princess Viola by Richard Svenssen

It's a common tavern tale to hear that Mad Lum did conquer death in the end, and works even now in a hidden laboratory in the deserts of Sang or deep in Subazurth, or some other secluded spot, but no serious-minded person believes such nonsense. For whatever reason, the Princess does not comment on the fate of her creator.

Dead Wizard's Estate Sale

Unusual items found among the possessions of one Lucius T. Malregard, Necromancer, following his death:

1. Jelly Monkeys candies in a wax-paper bag: These 5 colorful, gelatinous, monkey-shaped candies have been made into homunculi powered by blood. A pinprick drop of blood in the “mouth” of a Jelly Monkey will animate it for a day and place it under the command of the person whose blood fed it. The monkeys are able to report what they see and hear, though their intellects and vocabularies are limited. If the candy is eaten, a person will experience everything the monkey did that day. The more blood fed to the monkeys (or that they illicitly consume), the larger they will grow--and the more willful they will become (though the changes take time and will not immediately be apparent).

2. Human Skull: An adult human skull with a separated calvarium. If a candle is placed inside, and the skull is in darkness, flickering black and white images (like a kinetoscope) are projected from its eye sockets. These images are essentially clairvoyance (as the spell)--if a specific location is requested (aloud) of the skull. Otherwise, they are random and may be from anywhere in the world. Every night at the stroke of midnight, the skull laughs loudly and says: “Oh, for Heavens sake, Ormsley!”

3. One Past Midnight Man: Selected Recordings: A box of 3 10-inch phonograph records emblazoned with an image of an old-fashioned minstrelsy performer: the One Past Midnight Man. If any of the records are played, strange and backwards sounding voices can be heard overlayed on the primary recording. Upon completion of an record, a 10-inch tall man dressed like the figure on the cover will appear, only he is not in embarrassing blackface, but rather his skin is an unnatural inky black--as if made out of night, itself. He can teach any spell of the necromantic school (and likely others)--for a price.

4. Obscura gossamer: Wound around a bone spindle, is a black and silken, rough outline of a human. In fact, it is a human shadow that if attached to a new host (this process is unknown) obscures the wearer in such a way that they are hidden from magical and nonmagical attempts to find them (short of a wish). People can interact with them normally (if they draw attention to themselves) but won’t remember doing so within minutes. Attaching the shadow is likely permanent.

5. A murder’s last breath in ether: A brown glass bottle containing the dying breath of notorious mass murderer Eldred Toombs. Inhaling the mixture infuses the user with a murderous impulse and the abilities of the maniac template for 1d4x15 minutes. The bottle contains approximately 10 inhalations.

6. Demonologia Sexualis: A leather-bound copy of the infamous tome detailing the perversions and sex magic rituals of the beings of the lower planes. Possession of a single illustration is probably enough to get one arrest in most jurisdictions. Many demons and devils are willing to barter a service for a copy. There are no doubt dubious advantages to actually reading the tome, as well.

7. Tape recording of an unknown language: A reel to reel tape labelled: “Sample 13.” The language is unintelligible (even with magic), but the malevolent memetic entity inhabiting the strange, sing-song tongue can infect the brains of listeners. It will attempt to possess the most intelligent individual within hearing range. On a failed saving throw, it takes command of the person's body for a period 1d20 hours. Then, a series of seizures will signal the brain’s rejection of the alien presence. Any time period greater than 5 hours is likely long enough for the entity to launch itself into the astral plane. The entity can be trapped in the host by magical means and induced to reveal what secrets it possesses before the host dies (1d4 days).

John Till's Strange Stars

There's a proof copy of Strange Stars Fate. There are a few things we want to fix, so it's not ready for release yet, but it's getting close.

Friday on the Hydra Collective blog we'll feature an interview I did with John "Fate SF" Till, author of the Fate implementation of Strange Stars (available now in pdf). John had a lot of interesting things to say. Here's an excerpt:

You write a blog with SF in the title! What are some works/authors that you like?
I read a lot of SF on my own, and I am also part of the Second Foundation, a SF reading group in the Twin Cities that has been meeting for decades! This is an SF-rich community, with two world-class SF book stores just a few miles from my house. We read a lot in Minnesota, because of the long winters.

As a kid, my first SF books were:

• Robert A. Heinlein’s Orphans of the Sky (my lifelong love of generation ships started here!)
• James Blish’s Spock Must Die. You can’t get any more Strange Stars than the sea of coffee produced by insane Organians!
• Samuel R. Delaney’s great space operas, Babel-17 and Nova. 
• John Christopher’s Tripods trilogy.
• The Ace Books translations of the Perry Rhodan space opera series. In fact, the first space empires that my friends and I created in the years right before roleplaying games were inspired by Rhodan. I am the very proud owner of TWO German books full of Perry Rhodan ship blueprints!

My big SF influences these days include Alastair Reynolds, the Culture novels of Iain M. Banks, and the classic space opera of Cordwainer Smith. And of course, Eleanor Arnason, Minnesota’s best SF writer. Space opera fans should make a point of reading her Ring of Swords; fans of Niven’s Known Space stories should read her Tomb of the Fathers. I read ALL of Cordwainer Smith’s Instrumentality short stories and Norstrilia last year. I (re)read six Delaney novels over the summer!

Like I said, we read a lot in Minnesota.

Wednesday Comics: Within These Walls...Armageddon

"Within These Walls--Armageddon"

Masters of the Universe #3 (February 1983), Written by Paul Kupperberg; Pencils by George Tuska, Inks by Rodin Rodriguez

Synopsis:  Zodac flies through the space between planes. He's been watching the heroes of Eternia pursue the goals of Skeletor, but now its time for him to get involved to prevent Skeletor's victory and save the world from destruction.

He arrives in time dispatch the last of the demons the heroes are fighting. He warns them that there is another enemy besides Skeletor, but he cannot say who it is. As they converse, they are sorcerously observed by another:


Damon spies on Skeletor, too, also unaware that he is being observed. Damon's machinations are toward a single goal: the acquisition of the power sword, whose halves are held in a stasis field he sees but can't penetrate.

Meanwhile, Zodac explains how the talismans are to be used: They can open a portal to the power sword and summon the mystic falcon Zoar. The heroes pass through it.

Skeletor throughs a little tantrum because he can't figure out who is trying to thwart his plans. Suddenly, he's attacked by a tentacled creature. Skeletor dispatches the creature and Damon reveals himself--and his plan:

Skeletor's mystic blast can't harm him. They're arcane powers are too well matched. Skeletor pulls a sword to do things the old fashion way.

Elsewhere, Man-E-Faces is strangely drawn to Castle Grayskull, then mystically pulled inside. Damon and Skeletor have fallen through a portal to Grayskull, too--just as Damon planned. It was the only way villains like he and Skeletor could get inside. Skeletor claims to have been aware of Damon's game all along. He blasts Damon from behind.

The heroes also arrive in Grayskull, in a room with multiple doors. Stratos and Man-At-Arms are trapped by what they find behind their respective doors. Teela enters a maze, but takes the novel approach of blasting a hole through the floor to get out of it.

She drops him on Skeletor and He-Man and Battle Cat burst through a wall soon after. Too late:

Skeletor uses his power to summon Beast-Man and transform Man-E-Faces to a bestial form. He-Man defeats both of them easily, but only the quick thinking of Teela keeps him from falling into Skeletor's trapdoor.

Meanwhile, Zoar frees the Goddess from her other dimensional prison. The two transport to Castle Grayskull just in time to to snatch the power sword from Skeletor's grasp allowing He-Man to defeat him. The Goddess wraps it all up:

Commentary: Damon is introduced to very little purpose, and Man-E-Faces to even less. The story feels rushed at the end, like it was suppose to be a longer limited or lead into something longer, but it never materialized.

Islands in the Boundless Sea

In the Boundless Sea, east of the Land of Azurth and likely south of the pirate haven of the Motley Isles, maritime legend holds that their is an archipelago sometimes called the Chain of Fools. These isles continue to tempt sailors, despite all evidence they are best avoided.

The Candy Isle may be the largest of the chain. The basic elements of its formation are not the usual stuff of the material world, but instead various sweets: Licorice vines hang from stick candy trees, a chocolate stream flows into the sea from some spring, and cyclopean rock candy ruins loom in silence. No one has ever investigated those ruins and returned to tell the tale.

The Gilded Isle is a small atoll piled (or perhaps made entirely) of gold, mostly various coins. Its lagoon glints and sparkles; its floor supposedly littered with precious gems. Even more than the Candy Isle, the Gilded Isle attracts interest, but the island seems to draw away as it is approached; it always takes longer to reach than it should. Indeed, the isle may be unreachable. In the attempt, whole crews have turned on each other, all eager to have for themselves alone riches that none of them will ever possess.

The perfumed Island of Revelry can be smelled before it is seen. It is never approached by daylight, only night or dusk.  Sounds of laughter and sensuous music can be heard coming from the tents that dot its jungles. Colorful paper lanterns sway luridly in the trees. Youths of both sexes can be seen passing between the tents or disappearing into the jungle in the deeping, velvet darkness, but their beauty is only suggested in the glimpses offered. Perhaps ships do sometimes reach this island, as occasionally derelicts are found in its general vicinity, apparently abandoned by their crews.