Look Out! Pink Elephants on Parade

“I could stand the sight of worms,

And look at microscopic germs,

But technicolor pachyderms,

Is really much for me.”

- “Pink Elephants on Parade”

Those who become too inebriated or intoxicated, invite the astral invaders known as pink elephants into their minds. These creatures appear as gelatinous, multi-colored, bipedal elephants, with sinister, leering expressions and eyes as featureless as the abyssal depths. They are non-corporeal, and can only be harmed by magical means, except by other astral beings. They cause fear in those able to see them (unless they make a save vs. magic).  Unreasoning fear drives those that perceive them to fight for their lives against the elephants as if they are corporeal beings--which can lead to the victim inadvertently injuring themselves or those around them. During this period (which lasts 1-4 hours) the victim's mental faculties (Intelligence and Wisdom) and dexterity are effectively reduced by 1d4. After the resolution of the elephants' attack, the victim will sleep for 2-12 hours and awaken with a monstrous headache. There is a 33% chance that an encounter with the elephants will lead to more serious, permanent impairment of mental abilities, if a save vs. death is failed.

Pink Elephants: HD 3, AC 7 [12], Special: cause terror, noncorporeal.

The Ten Cent Menace

A weird menace haunts the newsstands and magazine racks of the City. Behind some seemingly innocuous--if lurid--paper cover there lurks an alien entity with an appetite for human minds. This entity has no official name, but is sometimes called the “shudder pulp” after the odd “some walked across my grave” feeling people often describe upon first encountering it.  A warning, perhaps--which they generally ignore.

The entity appears as a pulp magazine of the most prurient variety. It changes the specifics of its title and cover image on each occasion, but invariably teases tales of violence, sadism, and the macabre. There are some reports of the entity appearing as comic books as well, but these have no been verified.

A purchaser will find the pulp largely indistinguishable from any mundane publication of the type. The stories will be as expected from the cover, though perhaps a little less logical and more nightmare-like that would be typical. A Wisdom roll upon first browsing its contents gives the victim a change to recognize the inherent wrongness of the publication and avoid further harm. A failed roll means the victim will read the entire volume, over a period of time. unless there is some intervention.

Every story read (there will be 2d6 in the volume) will require a saving throw (with a progressive -1 for every previous story read) or result in the loss of 1d4 points of Wisdom. When a victim's wisdom drops to 0 they disappear from prime material plane, and no where knows where they are taken.

In addition, even having the item in one’s possession requires a saving throw every 1d6 days or else the possessor acts as if under a Suggestion spell and performs increasingly depraved acts (though starting at the relatively mundane) bearing some similarities to those depicted in the stories in the volume.

The entity may be destroyed by any of the usual means used to destroy a mundane magazine (HD 1-1). Destroying its physical manifestation breaks its spell, and limits further effects. However, it will likely re-coalesce elsewhere in a slightly different form in 1d10 days.

Truth, Justice, and all That Other (Gaming) Stuff

This weekend I picked up Green Ronin’s DC Adventures: Hero’s Handbook, which is the main book of their new DC Comics rpg. It utilizes the the latest iteration of Mutants & Masterminds' take on the d20 system--the version that’s going to be in Mutants & Masterminds 3e, which is suppose to be coming this fall.

My history with role-playing in the DC universe goes back to 1985 and Mayfair’s DC Heroes. That was the third superhero rpg we played--after Villains and Vigilantes, and the first edition of Marvel Super-Heroes. Mayfair’s system (later to be dubbed the Mayfair Exponential Game System and be acronymized as MEGS), was a little unusual and abstract, but it did allow a world to exist that went pretty seamlessly from street level to cosmic, and it used kind of cool, balanced “parallel mechanic” for physical, mental, and spiritual activities.

My group played a lot of DC Heroes in its second edition incarnation from 1989. Unlike, interestingly, our long-term Marvel game, we didn’t use “real” DC characters, but made up our own instead. In fact, I don’t know that those characters actually inhabited the DCU because I can’t recall if we ever interacted with any of the “big names.” I think we found it had a better character generation system that Marvel which, even in the advanced game, always seemed like it was an afterthought to the designers.

Anyway, back in the present day, I haven’t given DC Adventures a thorough reading, but right off the bat I notice a few changes. The ability scores have expanded beyond the D&D standards. There’s “stamina,” which is probable renamed “constitution,” but there’s also an agility in addition to “dexterity,” and “charisma” is missing, but “presence” appears. They don’t run the usual 3-18, but instead the score now seems to be the old bonus/penalty that was related to the score. This caused a moment of confusion when I paged through the book and saw Batman with a Dexterity of “7”--which is actually pretty high once I figured out what they were doing.

Some other changes seem inspired by other superhero rpgs. Powers seem a little more “effects based” than previously a la Champions, but I may be overstating this, because there doesn’t seem to be a huge change, here--maybe just in how they present it. “Fighting” is now an ability score--shades of Marvel Super-Heroes. In another MSHRPG call-back that made me smile, the determining of the damage condition from an attack is now decided by referencing a table which has color-coded columns of green, yellow, and red (and also blue) like the much-beloved Universal Table.

I haven’t reviewed the book enough to start the inevitable quibbling about the stats of famous characters, but overall it looks pretty good if you like Mutants & Masterminds, and makes me interested in seeing the third edition/

Professor Crowe & His Ugly Bird

Art by Daniel Kopalek

Professor Enoch Crowe and his familiar/partner-in-crime are wanted for the sell of unlicensed alchemicals, and fraud related to such, in the City and smaller municipalities in the Smaragdines and the South. The Professor (this title is an affectation--he holds no known degree) sells dubious nostrums from the back of his truck which he drives on a circuitous route mostly through rural areas, but sometimes visiting poorer neighborhoods of cities.

Crowe will typically have the following “cures” for sale, but will only be specifically hawking one at a time:

• Priapic Vigor - said to increase male sexual performance (allegedly made from extract of satyr musk, and other natural ingredients).
• Hirsutific Unction - said to cure baldness cure (from "essential oils" of de-odorized skunk-ape hide)
• Triodia’s Specific - An unguent (sometimes tonic) to cure venereal disease. (from alchemical purification of a species of lilly that grows in secret Ealerdish grottoes where nymphs are known to bathe).
• Panaceatic Lens Treatment - The patient sits under a head-sized dome of purplish crystal (actually colored glass) which he or she is told will “re-align their mental energies and vital forces to be in greater harmony with the universe.” Mostly, it does nothing, but Crowe can use it to given a suggestion (as per spell) to the patient.

Crowe can also produce some genuine minor magical potions, but only sells these to high-dollar costumers, and may just as like substitute a minor cursed potion, if he thinks he can get away with it, and might lose a sale otherwise.

Crowe’s partner or servant, is called by him “Dearest” or perhaps just “Bird,” but is known to everyone else as “Ugly Bird.” Ugly Bird is an harpy of a particular spiteful disposition--and this is in comparison to others of her kind who aren't paragons of compassion. She won’t generally be seen when Crowe is about his business of sales, but she is always watching, and never far from his side.

Prof. Enoch Crowe: MU4, HP12, spells commiserate with his level, and 1d10 real potions in his truck, besides his charlatan’s wears.

Ugly Bird: AC 7 [12], HP 17, 2 talons 1d4 each, Special: flight, unlike often presented, harpies in the world of the City have no “siren’s song” power.

200...and a Few You Might Have Missed

Welcome to my 200th post, 241 days since the inception of my blog.

Instead of looking back at my most popular posts, I'd like to re-offer some of my favorites that didn't find an audience the first time.  Since the readership is bigger now, maybe somebody we'll find some value in these "gently used" posts:

On January 15, Reel Adventure Seeds distilled four films in four different genres and one Warner Bros. cartoon down to their essense and recast them as fantasy gaming adventures.

Fantasy Pharmakon on February 12 maybe didn't grab people with its name, but it offered up some recreational pharmaceuticals from fantasy literature, suitable for game consumption.

Last but not least, March 16's Scum and Villainy presented a gallery of eclectic, urban rogues from the city of Terminus, in my world of Arn campiagn.

Thanks to all of you who've supported my efforts!  I hope you'll continue to enjoy 'em in the future.

Warlord Wednesday: This Sword for Hire

It's Wednesday again.  Time to re-enter the lost world with another installment of my issue by issue examination of DC Comic's Warlord, the earlier installments of which can be found here...

"This Sword for Hire"

Warlord (vol. 1) #25 (September 1979)

Written and Pencilled by Mike Grell; Inked by Vince Colletta

Synopsis: In an oasis on the edge of the Great Desert, Mariah, Machiste, and Tara take a rest from their travels. Tara sits alone, and Mariah and Machiste speculate on how hard things must be for her--losing her son and having her husband run off. Mariah says she must hate Morgan, but Machiste doesn’t believe that she’s capable of hating him--any pain she feels is born of love.

“Barely a hundred leagues” to the south, Morgan is in combat against Atalus, a fellow mercenary. Morgan bests him with arms, then unarmed. Atalus doesn’t survive the last contest. After the fight, another mercenary, Chakal, demands to know why Morgan just doesn’t leave. He’s angry Morgan supplanted him as second in command. Morgan offers Chakal a chance to fight him, as well, but Commander Balfoosh shows up and breaks up the impending duel. He tells them they’ve got a job: Prince Kali has offered a “hundredweight of gold” for the capture of the thief, Ashir.

The thief’s trail takes them west and south, high into the Mountains of the Sun. A rock-slide set as a trap sends most of the band to their deaths; only Balfoosh, Morgan, and Chakal remain alive. They don’t have long to feel lucky, as they soon encounter a mohawk-sporting snow giant a “monster who stalks the mists in search of man meat”--which is just as scary as it sounds.

The giant smashes Balfoosh. Chakal cuts off one of its fingers, only to get knocked from his horse by a back-hand slap. While the giant’s distracted, Morgan leaps onto his shoulder and strikes. He drives his sword into the brute’s ear and straight through its skull.

The giant topples over, dead. Morgan is again the last left standing.

Morgan decides to continue after Ashir alone--there’s a reward to gain and he’s got nothing else better to do. He hasn’t gone far, when, through a moment’s inattention, he stumbles into a trap. A branch whips back and unhorses Morgan. A man in a brightly colored costume jumps from hiding to attack with a dagger.

Morgan isn't as helpless as he seems, and he greets Ashir the Rogue with a shield in the gut. He uses its leverage, and his foes momentum, to to flip him. Ashir only just manages to keep himself from falling over the cliffside. The thief asks for parlay, but when Morgan helps him up, he punches him, then challenges him to a swordfight. The two exchange quips as they cross blades. Morgan bests Ashir at both.

He tells the rogue he plans to take him back to Prince Kali, but asks what it was he stole from the prince. Ashir tells him it was a woman--and she wasn’t stolen--but now he wishes he hadn’t bothered, because she left when the gold ran out. He asks Morgan why he continued to pursue him after the others died. Morgan says he did it for the same reason Ashir steals--money.

Ashir doesn’t believe him. He agrees they're motivated by the same thing, but it isn’t money--it’s adventure, and action. Even if it’s a short life, Ashir asserts he will have no regrets. Morgan replies that he’s already got regrets. He climbs into the saddle, deciding not to take Ashir back.

Chakal, who didn’t die at the giant’s hand, has other ideas. He holds his bow on Morgan, arrowed nocked, and says he’ll take the prisoner. Ashir asks if Chakal is a friend. Morgan replies, “Nope. Just a corpse,” as he shoots Chakal dead with his pistol.

Ashir asks Morgan wear he’s headed. He tells him he could use a man like him, because not far from where they are there’s a hidden temple that houses a great jewel...

Elsewhere, in darkness, sinister eyes watch Morgan in a crystal ball, a talon-like hand resting atop it.

Things to Notice:

• This is the first appearance of Morgan's companion, Ashir.
• Most members of the mercenary band wear Turkic/Asiatic garb, but Balfoosh wears Greco-Roman garb.

Where It Comes From:
The hero spending some time as a mercenary is a common Sword & Sorcery plot line, demonstrated most notably in the life of Conan.

The character of Ashir seems inspired by roguish and swashbuckling characters played by the likes of Douglas Fairbanks and (later) Errol Flynn.  He even looks facially a bit like Douglas Fairbanks as Robin Hood:

Though Ashir's name is Middle Eastern (it's a Hebrew first name, but also happens to be the name of an Assyrian god), his costume is late Medieval/Rennaissance European.  He wears, for example, parti-color hose.  These disparate elements perhaps suggest his influences drawn from the likes of Thief of Baghdad, but also more swashbuckling films like The Three Musketeers or Robin Hood.

Chakal is an approximation of the Turkish çakal, from whence we get our word jackal.  "Balfoosh" was apparently once a place around the Caspian Sea, but the name also might derive from the usual pronounciation of the name of the South Dakota city Belle Fourche ("belfoosh"), the geographic center of the United States, and destination of John Wayne's herd in The Cowboys (1972).

Note: In my review of last issue, I accidentally left out the epilogue! That showed Harrando, greatest thief of Skartaris (and Ashir's rival, as we find out this issue), sneaking into Castle Deimos and stealing the ring from the moldering corpse of Deimos, only to then be engulfed by strange, yellow tendrils.  Harrando also looked a lot like Douglas Fairbanks, too.

An Evening With the Nocturnals

Nocturnals is a series of comic book limiteds and one-shots written and drawn by Dan Brereton. Its main characters are a vigilante team of--well, monsters--who tangle with gangsters, supernatural menaces, and an evil corporation that serves as a front for Lovecraftian invaders. If it sounds like role-playing game fodder, Green Ronin beat you to it with a 2004 sourcebook for Mutants & Masterminds. I also count the Nocturnals among the inspirations for my Strange New World of the City setting.

It all started with an eponymous limited series published by Malibu Comics’ Bravura imprint in 1995. It’s since been collected under the subtitle, Black Planet. It introduces the mythical Northern California town of Pacific City, and its resident extra-legal heroes, Doc Horror (a two-fisted scientist from an alternate dimension with a dark secret), and his gang. The group includes: Polychrome, a ghost; Firelion, an artificial, pyrokinetic samurai; babe from the Black Lagoon, Starfish; reptilian genetic chimera, Komodo; and undead gunslinger, Gunwitch. Also tagging along is Doc’s daughter, Evening, who likes to be called Halloween Girl, and carries creepy toys inhabited by spirits.

Their foes are the forces of the corporation Narn K and their mob allies. Narn K manufactures artificial humans and human-animal hybrids in its Monster Shop, but, more sinisterly, is a front for an invasion force. The alien Crim overran Doc Horror’s homeworld, the Black Planet, and only the Nocturnals stand in the way of them doing the same to Earth.

The adventures continue in another limited, The Dark Forever, in 2002. Halloween Girl gets her own stories in Witching Hour (1998), and the Troll Bridge one-shot in 2000. Gunwitch takes center stage in Outskirts of Doom, also in 2002. After a hiatus, the gang was back in Carnival of Beasts in 2008. Green Ronin’s Nocturnals: A Midnight Companion, isn’t just a gaming supplement, but a “bible” to the series’ characters and their world with material written by Brereton, himself.

Anyone who’s a fan of psychotronica, or just good comics, should probably spend an evening or two with getting to know the Nocturnals and the mean (and weird) streets of Pacific City.