Wednesday, March 22, 2023

Wednesday Comics: DC, June 1982 (week 4)

My goal: read DC Comics' output from January 1980 (cover date) to Crisis! This week, we review the comics hitting the newsstand on March 25, 1982.


Action Comics #532: Wolfman seems to never to miss a chance to use his creation H.I.V.E. Lois goes undercover, impersonating a H.I.V.E. agent she captured, and finds herself part of a squad assigned to kill Superman with Kryptonite ray-guns. Lois and Superman escapes, but it turns up to all be some sort of elaborate plot by H.I.V.E. which will probably be revealed next issue.

Rozakis and Saviuk are back with the Atom, and the story's still hard to care about. Palmer manages to deactivate the bomb without using his shrinking powers and investigates where it came from, but he gives away his secret identity to two crooks and then appears to have killed them!


All-Star Squadron #10: Thomas and Gonzales/Ordway keep demonstrating how difficult it is for these superheroes that (naively, I think) gave up their super-identities just to enlist and kick the costume habit. Which is a good thing, I guess, because a weird, eye-shaped aircraft is attacking U.S. planes on the West Coast and Hawkman and Starman must intervene. Dr. Mid-Nite on a Pacific outpost also tangles with the Eye. And the Eye pops up again to halt hostilities between the Russians and the Germans. In the end, the Eye is hovering above the White House and a tall man-like form emerges from an energy beam. He announces that he is Akhet, from the 2nd planet Proxima Centauri, here to annex the Earth in the name of the Binary Brotherhood!


Captain Carrot and His Amazing Zoo Crew #4: In one respect, Thomas and Shaw/Grothkopf are sort of ahead of their time with this book. The Zoo Crew are quite concerned with becoming famous in a way I don't think we see mainstream supers be until the 90s. Anyway, while Roger Rabbit tries to keep the team focused on establishing themselves and capitalizing on recent successes, Rubber Duck and Yankee Doodle (with Fastback tagging along) head off to the Okey-Dokey Swamp to continue their film-related careers. This film just might be a gentle parody of the then-recent Swamp Thing movie but turns real really quick as discarded monster makeup bonds with a decaying alligator skeleton to create a mud monster it will take the whole Crew to defeat.


Detective Comics #515: Conway is back, so we discover the second-rate villains of a couple of previous issues were trained by the Headmaster in his Academy of Crime in Hollywood, where people learn to organize their crimes and create tactics to succeed. When Batman hears about the Academy, he heads out West in order to learn more about it in his old disguise of Matches Malone. Meanwhile, Dick Grayson is following his ex, Dala, to see what caused her change in attitude towards him. He follows her as Robin to an ancient house located in the middle of nowhere. Curious about what she could be doing there, Robin sneaks inside the house, only to be knocked out by a hooded figure.

In the Batgirl backup by Burkett and Delbo, our heroine has her hands full with Lady Viper, and we get the snake woman's origin which involves a love of snakes and a mystical artifact.


New Adventures of Superboy #30: An experimental device created by Lex Luthor turns Bash Bashford, football star, into the fiery Glowman. Meanwhile, a girl who steals a crystal ball from a carnival fortune teller finds only Superboy's kiss can remove her curse of old age.

In the Dial H for Hero backup by Bridwell/Rozakis and Bender/Giella Vicki as Miss Hourglass saves Chris from a fall. He dials the identity of Mr. Opposite and the two defeat the Disc Jockey.


Tales of the New Teen Titans #1: A popular series demands spinoffs and Wolfman and Perez oblige with this limited series. This issue reveals the origin of Cyborg containing some discussion of racism and the plight of black people in America that is, at best, a bit naive seeming in 2023 and possibly even offensive. Luckily, the worst stereotypes are foisted onto side characters, and Cyborg emerges are a more well-rounded portrayal of a black character than many we've seen previously in comics.


Unknown Soldier #264: Haney and Ayers/Talaoc are back with another high concept Unknown Soldier yarn. The Soldier has to go to Switzerland and climb a perilous mountain called the Needle to retreive information from a crashed Allied plane. Klaus von Stauffen and his Nazi lackeys are on the mountain, too, and it's a race to the top. Turns out the Nazis don't know anything about the plane, their own on a mission to put the corpse of a German climber at the top so Hitler can claim bragging rights for the Reich. The Soldier foils their plan and completes his mission. 

The Kanigher/Spiegle Balloon Buster feature has Savage continue to skirt court martial and maybe even execution by breaking the rules, including firing on his own side to keep them from getting to von Hammer when the German Ace returns the kid he flew to the doctor in Berlin. Spiegle draws great airplanes and aerial action. In the Tomahawk story by Haney/Delbo Tomahawk and his Rangers bust out of jail to save Washington from Lord Shilling's assassination plot. They succeed, and Tomahawk's name is cleared. 


World's Finest Comics #279: In the lead story by Burkett and Buckler/Smith, Bruce Wayne has been captured by General Scarr and his crew, but Scarr thinks Batman has just disguised himself as Wayne. Batman is taken to a cell in their hideout, but soon he escapes and learns that the villains are planning to hijack alien weapons left behind by the Weapon-Master from a couple of issues back. Batman contacts Superman, but the Man of Steel fails to stop the crooks from acquiring the weapons as he gets thrown into a continuum of no time and seems unable to escape. Batman is on his own.

In Cavalieri's and von Eeden's Green Arrow, Queen manages to locate his friend's daughter in the cult compound, but she refuses to leave until the cultists' condemn her independent thinking. They leave (surprisingly) without any violence. Hawkman, in contrast, has to engage in a lot of violence against some Starlin-esque aliens not so ably rendered by Saviuk. He ultimately defeats the pirates, but he and another captive are stranded in their ship.

Bridwell and Newton finish up the retcon to the history of Kid Eternity, making him Captain Marvel Jr.'s brother. The story implies, interestingly, that the wizard Shazam has the role traditionally assigned to St. Peter of acting as the doorman to Heaven. Maybe he just fills in on occasion?

3 comments:

Dick McGee said...

Detective Comics #515: So who's the "surprise guest" the cover is teasing?

"He announces that he is Akhet, from the 2nd planet Proxima Centauri, here to annex the Earth in the name of the Binary Brotherhood!"

Well that's just awkward from a 2023 vantage point. I know they weren't intending to, but it sounds like the Proximans invaded the planet due to being offended by concepts like gender fluidity and polycules. "I am Akhet, and bisexuality is just a myth! A myth, you primitive Earthmen!" Meanwhile one of his troopers is joining a MMF threesome with a couple of Terran swingers behind his back. :)

"...discarded monster makeup bonds with a decaying alligator skeleton to create a mud monster..."

Credit where credit is due, that's at least a new twist on a swamp monster origin.

"This issue reveals the origin of Cyborg containing some discussion of racism and the plight of black people in America that is, at best, a bit naive seeming in 2023 and possibly even offensive."

It's been a long time, but what little I remember was pretty cringe-inducing regardless of the worst of it being stuck on side characters. And would comics please stop with juxtaposing chains and African-American characters? At least he's breaking them rather than wearing them, but still not a good look.

"...the wizard Shazam has the role traditionally assigned to St. Peter of acting as the doorman to Heaven. Maybe he just fills in on occasion?"

I wonder, does he bring his giant Damocles block with him when he's Petering? "A guy never can tell when he might need to be suddenly crushed to death!"

bombasticus said...

Highlighting Yankee Poodle's fame-seeking behaviors forced me to take a step back and review what now looks like her transactional patriotism. She's really a gossip columnist with "influencer" powers who just happens to drape herself in the flag because it makes a great photo op.

If we were doing an "Alan Moore's Return To The Zoo Crew!" dark relevant update she would probably be the villain. Now I want this!!

Trey said...

You make a good point. Thomas was perhaps doing more than people give him credit for.