Friday, January 20, 2012

Railroading All Gamers Can Enjoy


Hell on Wheels on AMC tells the story of a mobile camp accompanying the construction of the first intercontinental railroad. It has the usual assortment of characters and professions one would expect in any boomtown, plus individuals looking to actively escape civilization for reasons of there own.

The series (which just completed its first season) would obviously be good inspiration for a Western or Steampunk game, but I think it has something to offer fantasy gaming, as well. Non-traditional fantasy would be the most obvious (Mieville has a railroad being built in Iron Council and Eberron has got trains) but a good old fashion wilderness hexcrawl might be informed by the series, too.

All that’s really needed is a reason for a raucous camp of adventurers and hangers-on to be travelling through the wilderness. Perhaps they're doing something as mundane as cutting a new road (like Daniel Boone and his men in Cherie Priest’s Those Who Went Remain There Still) or maybe they’re doing something more exotic, like riding a giant monster so they can mine stuff from its body. Whatever. They just need to be travelling across the wilderness and dragging a bit of civilization with them.

One of Hell on Wheels’s promo posters proclaims: “Blood will be spilled. Lives will be lost. Men will be ruined.” Sounds like a call to adventure to me.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

The Walls of Graveston Prison

“Abandon All Hope” reads the blood red graffiti some wag has managed to scrawl on the stone cliff beside the docks. It may well be the first thing most prisoners see when emerging from the department of correction’s ferry at Graveston, the Union’s most notorious maximum security prison.

Graveston looks like a Medieval fortress and seems to rise from a rocky isle in San Tiburon Bay as if it grew from it. Popular stories suggest that sea devils once held pagan rituals on the island before the Natives were finally able to drive the humanoids. Current thaumatological theory considers this unlikely, because of the island's unusual properties: The stone which forms it generates an anti-magic zone that leeches the power from any spell.

This property made the island an ideal spot for a prison to hold thaumaturgists. Though modern Graveston holds dangerous men of all sorts, its lowest levels hold criminal mages and magical entities. Hell Syndicate hitman Charley Rictus and the murderous ventriloquist’s dummy Otto were held here at one time alongside a host of thaumaturgic wrongdoers. All of them are rendered powerless (supposedly) by the island’s stone.

There is some evidence that the current theories island's anti-magic nature are incomplete. Belief has power here, which is why the warden and guards work hard to break the spirits of the inmates. No god or spirit-form can be more powerful than their authority within Graveston’s stone walls. Some have suggested this has had the effect of allowing seepage of the Black Prison into the Material plane--which may have long term consequences.

Also, magically enhanced shivs and shanks are sometimes found among the population. Beyond the power of petty spirits and eikones yet unbroken by the screws’ clubs, life itself carries a thaumaturgic charge. And when that life is wasted in spilled blood, the blood does, too. Blood sacrifices (of their own, or better yet, others) grant prisoners power, but some of this blood power is always lost to the floor, to the walls. What might the stones do with all that power, one might wonder?

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Warlord Wednesday: Paradox

Let's re-enter the lost world with another installment of my issue by issue examination of DC Comic's Warlord, the earlier installments of which can be found here...

"Paradox"
Warlord #79 (March 1984)
Written by Cary Burkett; Penciled by Pat Broderick; Inked by Rick Maygar.

Synopsis: Morgan, Krystovar, and Shakira find themselves travelling through some strange space in the Atlantean saucer. A beam of energy seems to grab them and pull them back into the earthly realm, where they find the beam emanating from an array operated by two men.

The saucer comes in for a landing. The three are surprised that men seem to know them, but seem confused as to how they wound up in the craft. One of the men, Reno, even seems aware of Shakira’s shape-changing ability. Before Morgan can ask many questions, our heroes get an even bigger surprise:


Other-Morgan makes some cryptic comments about everything "starting to make sense." Reno doubles over in some sort of spasm he blames on “chronal radiation.” A weird blue cloud begins to grow out from around him. It blots out the world and our protagonists find themselves falling through a churning formlessness.

When the three find themselves again on solid ground, they’re on board a ship: the U.S.S. Eldridge! Morgan’s heard of it, and relates the legend/conspiracy theory about its involvement in secret invisibility experiments during World War II. But as the story goes, something went wrong. As if to reinforce this point a crazed crewman runs by them and phases right through a gun turret.

They see another group of crewmen trying to keep a man they recognize as Reno from floating off into the void. Morgan confronts him, but Reno doesn’t know him. The other crew think Morgan and his friends are aliens, but they’re distracted when the strange fog begins to recede. The experiment is coming to an end.

Unfortunately for our heroes, they fall out of time again and into the void.

When they’re again able to stand, they again see Reno. This time he knows them as the “beings” he encountered on the Eldridge in 1943. He gives them chronal-dampener belts to keep them from getting pulled into the timestream again. The weird fog evaporates and they find themselves in a laboratory populated by busy technicians.

Dr. Reno Franklin tells our heroes that their doing experiments similar to the one on the Eldridge. The current year (as near as he can determine) is 2068!
Reno was the only one of the Eldridge’s crew, exposed to chronal radiation, that didn’t go insane (or at least that’s his story). Somehow, the Eldridge teleported from Philadelphia to Virginia and back. The government wanted to build craft (saucer-like, naturally) that could replicate that. They sent Reno and others to a secret base in the Rockies to work on it.

The chronal radiation made time begin to run differently on the inside of the base than on the outside. Only a few years passed for the researchers, but over a century on the outside. Despite that, they kept working, and now they’re almost done with the craft.

In the “present” of Skartaris, Tara has found the right cartridge to open one of those saucers in the cave. She plans to go after Morgan. Those plans are interrupted by the arrival of a group of New Atlantean soldiers lead by a wolf-headed beastman—who plans to seize the weapons cache himself!

Things to Notice:
  • Future-Shakira is wearing a dress!  And it's pink!
  • Chronal-Dampner?  Presumably they mean "damper" or "dampener."
  • Reno Franklin has the same haircut and fashion from 1943 to 2068.
Where It Comes From:
This issue uses as its basis the conspiracy theory/hoax known as the "Philadelphia Experiment."  The Eldridge was a real U.S. Navy destroyer, but the facts of its service don't match the story.  A couple of proportedly true accounts of the Philadelphia Experiment were published in the late seventies, so one of these may be where Burkett encountered it.


This storyline in Warlord appears to have done it's own inspiring. The Asylum direct to video science fiction film 100 Million BC has a scientist who once worked on the Philadelphia Experiment named Frank Reno.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Maps of Places to Escape From

Or maybe, to break into.  You and your players can decide.

First, a small island named for the pelicans that (presumably) once nested there.  Of course, Alcatraz is more famous for the Federal prison that was located there:


Here's a floorplan of the prison itself:


Next, here's the truly sprawling High Royds Hospital in Menston, England, part of the West Riding Pauper Lunatic Asylum.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

In the Classifieds


Here are some classified ads (which appear in the hardcopy versions of Weird Adventures.  Secure your copy today!) that might lead to adventures weird or otherwise:

SALESMEN WANTED
BIG MONEY AND FAST SALES. Minor magics and household charms are a boom industry. Low prices. High profits. Write for particulars and free samples. KING TALISMAN CO., Dept. 55, 666 Torio Ave., Lake City.

HELP & INTSRUCTION
APPRENTICE ADVENTURERS Get paid a competitive wage in treasure. Experience unnecessary. All you need is a stout heart and a strong back. FLEISCHSCHILD’S INSTITUTE St. Gorgan, Lichmond.

RANGER POSITIONS pay $125-$200 month; nice cabin. Hunt. Trap. Patrol. Get free list of Union Protected Forests immediately. RALSON INST., Dept. A-14, Mountain City, West.

HELP WANTED – FEMALE
ASSISTANT NEEDED Attractive young woman (18-28 yrs.), preferably blonde. $175 a month, plus housing. Discretion and comfort around large animals a must. Inquire at 616 Grimalkin St., Empire Island. Come alone.

Friday, January 13, 2012

Don't Ask! Just Buy It!


Or so says Aos (channeling Jack Kirby) in his review of the Weird Adventures pdf.  Well, the same advice applies, I'm sure, to the now available hardcover and softcover versions. 

Head over to RPGNow (or Drivethrurpg, whichever) and order your copy today.  It will change your life! In a fairly minor way, most likely--but I'm sure it will be positive.

Don't (just) take my word for it.  Read this review at Fame & Fortune and this one from the Armchair Gamer.

Whiskey not included.

(Oh, and as I mentioned yesterday.  If you bought the pdf prior to the release of the hardcopy, and you now want a hardcopy, contact me for your discount. Some restrictions apply.  Void in the Outer Planes.)

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Say the Secret Word and Win a Prize


If you purchased the Weird Adventures pdf at any point up until 9:00pm (East Coast U.S.) today (January 12), contact me if you want a $10.00 discount on either the hardcover or softcover (or both, if you're a completist!).

Email me at the address in my profile with your purchase date and RPGNow/Drivethrurpg customer number and I'll send one or both discount codes (specify your choice).

Look What Came in the Mail


Well, that and this:


That's the hardcover and the softcover.  Here's a peak at the insides:


Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Warlord Wednesday: Doom's Mouth!

Let's re-enter the lost world with another installment of my issue by issue examination of DC Comic's Warlord, the earlier installments of which can be found here...

"Doom's Mouth!"
Warlord #78 (February 1984)
Written by Cary Burkett; Penciled by Dan Jurgens; Inked by Mike DeCarlo

Synopsis: Morgan, Tara, and their companions sail the newly-christened Wind Shadow in the sea-passage cave lit by “weirdly glowing minerals” in its walls on their way to New Atlantis. They're scarcely inside the tunnel when they sight a New Atlantean warship headed their way. It doesn’t take long for the Atlanteans to realize the Wind Shadow isn’t one of their own, and they open fire.

Our heroes don’t have weapons to match, so Morgan decides to play a game of “chicken.” The Lizard-headed captain of the other vessel believes the crew of the Wind Shadow must be mad as the ship picks up speed and appears to be preparing to ram his ship. He panics and orders a rash turn to starboard:


Their enemy sank by their own hand, our protagonists sail on. Exploring the ship, Morgan discovers (to his delight) that the New Atlanteans have discovered tobacco and have a barrel full of cigars. He tries one:


The lesson: Don’t smoke, kids.

Soon, the ship reaches the place where Morgan blasted a whole out of the weapons cache cave. They anchor the ship and enter the passage. After travelling a distance, they discover they’re not alone:


Scarhart and Krystovar manage to kill the creature, but not before its tail-spine skewers one of the Shamballan guards.

When our heroes reach the cache, the others are as impressed as Morgan was when he first saw it. Krystovar comments that the saucercraft alone would give them an advantage over the New Atlanteans, if they could only figure out how to use them. Looking for a way to open one, Morgan notices a slot that the silver cassette he had would fit perfectly.

He takes a cartridge from the stack on the floor. It does fit, but it doesn’t do anything. After chastising Shakira for knocking over a stack of them, Morgan finds a surprise: A cartridge with his name on it!

Krystovar notices the saucers have numbers on them like the cassettes and suggests they try to match them. Putting the cartridge with his name on it in the matching saucer, Morgan finds the top opens. Krystovar and Morgan climb in to check out the inside.

Meanwhile, Shakira has tracked a rat:


Running in fear, she jumps into the arms of a surprised Morgan. He falls backwards into the saucer’s controls. The canopy closes and the craft disappears in a whirl of smoke!

Things to Notice:
  • Tara never wastes an oppurtunity to show her dislike of Shakira.
  • A comic book protagonist smoking?  Wouldn't happen in kid's comics of 2011!
Where It Comes From:
The battle with the giant arthopod was possibly inspired by the giant scorpion fight in the original Clash of the Titans (1981) perhaps with influence from the clash with the giant crab in another Harryhausen film Mysterious Island (1961).

Monday, January 9, 2012

Weavers in Darkness


If the rumors are to be believed, in the places below the City, one can sometimes encounter creatures half-woman and half-spider. Unfortunate creatures--and dangerous ones.

The spider hybrids are the result of past illegal and immoral thaumaturgic practices in the City’s garment industry. Before the muckracking exposés and the formation of the Garment Workers Union, destitute young girls were preyed upon in a horrific way. Using thaumaturgic arts stolen from pagan temples of the Far East, unscrupulous sweatshop owners had these girls transformed, into spider centaur-things. The silk produced by these creatures was valued for its strength and its ability to hold enchantment better than mundane fabrics (halves the time for creating magical items).

After the practice was put to an end, not all the hyrbids were accounted for. It’s possible some escaped into the underground beneath the city. Here they spin--and hunt. Their minds shattered by the trauma they have undergone, they’re given to unpredictable, murderous rages.

Spider-woman: HD: 5; AC: 3; Attacks 1 bite (1d4+poison) or with improvised weapon; Move 12.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

The City Indexed


The Weird Adventures Index is online.  It can be reached from this post or the link under "Pages" in the sidebar.  It continues to be a work in progress, but there are already a lot of posts in a wide away of topics to review.  Which topics got a heading and which ones didn't is a bit arbitrary--and subject to future revision.

On the Weird Adventures hardcopy front: The files have been accepted by the printers, and I'm awaiting my copies to proof.  Assuming everything looks good, expect those to be available for purchase soon.

Friday, January 6, 2012

Work in Progress


As I wait for the proofs of the hardcopy versions of Weird Adventures to come back, I've been following a suggestion of sagacious Porky and working on an index of all the related posts on the City and the Strange New World.  It's still in progress, but here's a sample.  More to follow.

PEOPLE:
Adventurers
    Failed: "Spectacular Losers"
    Famous: "Lifestyles of the Adventurous and Famous", "Tall in the Saddle", "Adventurers of Yesteryear"
    Men of Magic: "Magic Men"
    Tough Guys: "Two Tough Guys"
Adversaries
    Criminals, Wanted: "Most Wanted"
    Femme Fatales: "Random Femme Fatale Table"
    Gaunt, Hieronymus: "Rogue Elephant"
    Hell Syndicate: "Hell's Hoods", "A Piece of the Action"
    Knights-Templar of Purity: "Legion of Hate"
    Sorcerers: "Five Sinister Sorcerers", "The Unknown"
Anomalous Beings
     Beings from the Void: "Out of the Void"
     Dead God Drag-Racers: "The Dead Travel Fast"
     Red Dwarf, the: "In Deep, Crimson Shadows", "Season of the Witch"
     Well-Dressed Man from Elsewhere, the: "The Well-Dressed Man from Elsewhere"
Druids: "The City's Druids"
Eikones/God-Like Beings
     Cat Lord: "Stray Cat Blues"
     Doll: "Spirits of the Age"
     Lords of Beasts: "Stray Cat Blues"
     Management: "Spirits of the Age"
     Maker: "Spirits of the Age"
     Phile: "Spirits of the Age"
Ethnic Groups
     Dwerg-Folk: "Short People, Big Worm"
     Ibernian Little People: "Luck of the Little People"
     Immigrants: "Random Immigrant Urban Encounter Table"
     Mer-folk: "The Life Aquatic"

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Take the Subway to the Wizard's Sanctum

You may have heard this one: A homeless newsboy in a nameless city follows a mysterious stranger into a subway station. 


The stranger leads the boy aboard "a strange subway car, with headlights gleaming like a dragon's eyes," and decorated inside and out with weird, perhaps mystic, symbols.  The car "hurtles through the pitch-black tunnel at tremedous speed."  Their destination:


And beyond, a cavernous hall decorated with grotesque statues of the iconic failings of man.  At the end of the hall, a hierophant sits immobile on a throne, a square block of granite hanging precariously over his head by a slowly unraveling thread.


The wizard is, of course, Shazam and the Boy is Billy Batson.  Billy is about to be given the power of six mythological figures. At that point this story becomes a superhero origin, but at all times it's a fantasy story, too.  Grant Morrison (in Supergods) sums it up like this:

"the train carries Billy into a deep, dark tunnel that leads from this world to an elevated magical plane where words are superspells that change the nature of reality."

My point is bringing up Whiz Comics #2, is that I think fantasy in an urban setting ought to have a bit more of this and a bit fewer succubus streetwalkers, werewolf bikers, or angels in white Armani suits.  Not that there's anything wrong with those things--but they've gotten commonplace.  Perfunctory.

There's no reason why fantasy in a modernish setting can't be infused with weird or wonder.  We've got plenty of examples: Popeye's pet jeep, the Goon's antagonists, or in a less whimiscal vein, VanderMeer's city of Ambergris suffering under occupation by fungoid invaders. I can't be the only one that wants fantasy in the modern world to be something other than 90's World of Darkness retreads.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Warlord Wednesday: Let My People Go

Let's re-enter the lost world with 2012's first installment of my issue by issue examination of DC Comic's Warlord, the earlier installments of which can be found here...

"Let My People Go"
Warlord #77 (January 1984)
Written by Cary Burkett; Penciled by Dan Jurgens; Inked by Dan Adkins

Synopsis:
A black cat (Shakira, of course) sneaks into the New Atlantean camp and steals a set of keys. Transforming into human form, she moves to free Ashir from a cage. Unfortunately, she’s caught by a goat-headed beast-man and some soldiers.

Or is she? At that moment, Scarhart drops out a tree above the New Atlanteans and attacks. Our three heroes make their escape into the woods.

Meanwhile, in the secluded Valley of the Lion, Morgan and Tara frolic in a pond. Morgan’s gunbelt and the silver mysterious cassette sit on the ground nearby. At least for a while:


A tender moment between Morgan and Tara is interrupted by Graemore. He tells them Captain Trogero has just returned with yet more refugees. Morgan emerges from the pond to go meet Trogero. He notices the cassette is missing and begins to get suspicious of Graemore.

Elsewhere, a bear-headed Brood Brother and a contigent of Atlantean soldiers prepare to storm Castle Deimos. The sudden appearance of large and terrifying monsters from the castle routs the New Atlantean force. These horrors are illusions created by the magic of Castle Deimos’s mistress, Jennifer Morgan. She decides she needs to find out just who this army is that's disrupting the countryside.

Meanwhile, Scarhart, Shakira, and Ashir capture a warrior that turns out to be a Shamballan soldier. When he realizes who Ashir is, he quickly leads them to the camp in the valley.

Reunited with his friends, Ashir tells Morgan and Tara about the fall of Kaambuka. Now his people are being led away in chains to be slaves in New Atlantis. Krystovar reminds Morgan that the New Atlanteans will have to march their captives to the seacoast for transport. Our heroes have a chance to intercept them.

Morgan and his friends lead a small contingent to set up an ambush. Archers distract the soldiers, while Shakira in feline form sneaks in among their ranks to free the captives. Morgan leads an attack and the Atlanteans are soon fighting a battle on two fronts with Shamballah soldiers and freed slaves.

By putting on their enemy's horned helmets, Morgan and his troops disguise themselves. They lead the captives to the ship awaiting them. Striking with surprise they quickly overwhelm the skeleton force left on guard and seize the ship.


Morgan renames the ship the Wind Shadow. He and Tara plan to take it to the cave of the ancient and secure advanced weapons to put an end to the New Atlantean threat once and for all.

Things to Notice:
  • Tara disses Shakira's fashion sense (despite the fact they're both dressed in sort of fur bikinis).
  • Horned helmets are apparently slaver standard use, as previously seen in issues #2 and 3.
  • Virtually all of the Warlord supporting cast appears in this issue (we're just missing those still in the Age of the Wizard-Kings).
Where It Comes From:
The title of this issue is ultimately a reference to the Exodus 7:16: "And the Lord spoke unto Moses, go unto Pharaoh, and say unto him, thus saith the Lord, Let my people go, that they may serve me."

Monday, January 2, 2012

Dead Wizard's Weird Possessions

The executor of Malregard’s estate has put more of the wicked old sorcerer’s belonging up form auction:

A murder’s last breath in ether: A brown glass bottle containing the dying breath of notorious mass murderer Eldred Toombs (executed in 5879). Inhaling the mixture infuses the user with a murderous impulse and the abilities of the maniac template for 1d4x15 minutes. The bottle contains approximately 10 inhalations.

Demonologia Sexualis: A leather-bound copy of the infamous tome detailing the perversions and sex magic rituals of the beings of the lower planes. Possession of a single illustration is probably enough to get one arrest in most jurisdictions. Many demons and devils are willing to barter a service for a copy. There are no doubt dubious advantages to actually reading the tome, as well.

Tape recording of an unknown language: A reel to reel tape labelled “Sample 13, 5882.” The language is unintelligible (even with magic), but the malevolent memetic entity inhabiting the strange, sing-song tongue can infect the brains of listeners. It will attempt to possess the most intelligent individual within hearing range. On a failed saving throw, it takes command of the person's body for a period 1d20 hours. Then, a series of seizures will signal the brain’s rejection of the alien presence. Any time period greater than 5 hours is likely long enough for the entity to launch itself into the astral plane. The entity can be trapped in the host by magical means and induced to reveal what secrets it possesses before the host dies (1d4 days).

Sunday, January 1, 2012

New Year's Day


Then the weird codger just smiles under his beard and says:

“Take it easy, fella. It’s just a yarn.”

And that’s when you realize you were holding your breath. As you let it out slow, it occurs to you that there’s a murmur of “happy new years” around and somewhere the pop of a champagne cork, and there’s a dame standing close with a creased brow and disappointed pout because you didn’t kiss her at the appointed moment. The moment you just missed ‘cause you were listening to some old man’s story about the end of the world.

You take a glass of champagne from a passing waiter. The strange spell seems to be fading with the old year, but you still have to ask: “So what happened. How’d the world get saved, anyway?”

The old man strokes his beard. “It just so happens that Father Time prepares for this eventuality. He knows that the agents of entropy will try to take advantage of the changing of the year, to try and force a premature end to time. He has a plan...”

The new year is born at the center of a maze--almost a giant puzzle box, really-- outside of time and the material plane. Here the new born year can’t be strangled in its crib before temporal custodianship changes hands. All sorts of nefarious forces send their champions to seize it or kill it, true, but Father Time has his champions, as well. He can choose anyone, but it’s often adventurers that make his list. His temporal champions must brave the challenges of the achronal labyrinth and present Father Time's hourglass sigil to the multidimensional titan that guards the neonate year.


Finishing your second glass of champagne, you say, “Guess the good guys won again, huh? I’d be glad to meet one of those guys that saved the world. I’d by ‘em a drink.”

The old man shrugs and puts on his hat like he’s going to leave. “Well, the thing about that is, none of those brave souls ever remember what they did. The maze is outside of time. Everything that happens there occurs in less than an instant and outside of causality as we know it here. No, I’m afraid none of them has any idea what they accomplished.”

With that he turns to walk for the door. He’s only gone a couple of steps when he stops and half-turns. “Unless, of course, someone tells them.” And then he winks.

“Happy New Year, friend.”

Saturday, December 31, 2011

On New Year's Eve


On New Year’s Eve, the people of the City prepare themselves for a celebration, unaware of the danger--never guessing that more than just a year might be ending.

The eikone Chronos, Father Time, lies near death. His hounds howl in their tesseract kennels and his imbonded servants, the bumbling giants of old chaos, Gog and M’Gog, blubber at his bedside. The old man--the old year--will die at the stroke of midnight.

In the Heavens, the angels gird for war. They double the host in shining panoply that guard the Celestial Gates and patrol the ramparts of paradise. They prepare for possible siege.

In the streets of the world, the soldiers and made men of the Hell Syndicate push bullets into magazines and check the action of their guns nervously. There’s the scent of blood and brimstone in the air. There may be war in the streets.

At the final collapse at the end time, the last singularity pulses omninously. It's vibration plays the funeral dirge of the cosmos; negative energy propagating backwards through time. The beat carries the slavering existence-haters of the Pit and the mad form-refuseniks of the Gyre dancing into the world for one last party.

The material plane draws, moment by moment, closer to the knife-edge of continuation and dissolution. And the clock ticks down.

(to be continued?)

Thursday, December 29, 2011

The Skull's Second Year


Yesterday was the second anniversary of this blog and, as 2011 draws to a close, it seems a doubly good time to look back on my blogging year.  Here's a selection of my favorite posts from the past year that you may have missed or forgotten, broken down by category.

Several good Strange New World/City posts didn't make it into Weird Adventures:
"The Dead Travel Fast" - What's not to like about drag-racing elder gods?  Johnathan Bingham had in itch to draw these guys, so maybe they will show up again some time.
"The Well-Dressed Man from Elsewhere" - Creepy ultraterrestrials should at least be well-dressed!
"Five Sinister Sorcerers" - Some of these guys showed up in Weird Adventures.  Others were just too sinister.
"Meet at the Morgue" - You're about to enter the exciting world of forsenic necromancy...
"Random Queen Encounter Table" - Six queens, not a one of 'em amused.

Monsters:
"Real Dungeon Hazards: Snotties & Slimes" - What? You thought all those various jellies, slimes, and puddings were just made up?
"They Like You for Your Brains" - With a fresh veneer, all your old monsters are new again.
"The Stalker" - "Cause subway stations are scarier than dunes.

Other Stuff:
"Foul Language" - A review of Pontypool turns into a musing on the possible dangers of arcane memorization.
"AD&D Cosmology: A Defense" - what it says.
"Midnight in the House Tenebrous" - A weird place on a weird world.
"An Alternate Spelljammer Setting" - A little more pulp, a little more occult, a little more real world.

Anyway, thanks for reading.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Warlord Wednesday: Aftermath

Let's re-enter the lost world with another installment of my issue by issue examination of DC Comic's Warlord, the earlier installments of which can be found here...

"Aftermath"
Warlord #76 (December 1983)
Written by Cary Burkett; Penciled by Dan Jurgens; Inked by Bob Smith

Synopsis: In conquered Shamballah, Lord Saber-Tooth rages against the witch, Saaba. She promised him the Warlord, but Travis Morgan escaped! Saber-Tooth sends out lizard-dogs and a mounted search party to find him. Saaba transforms into a bird to do her own search.

In the nearby forests, Morgan is feeling Tara’s anger. She suggests he should have left her with her city instead of knocking her out and carting her away. Morgan counters that she would have done little good to her surviving people by dying on the Shamballah’s walls. Tara realizes he’s right, and begins giving commands to her soldiers to get the people ready to move to a place of safety.

Leagues away, Shakira and Scarhart are chafing under the rules of the Kaash’Ban. As friends to all animals, they forbid hunting, and Shakira and Scarhart are hunters. Scarhart chooses to abide by the rules and stay, but Shakira sets out on her own in a fit of pique.

In cat form, she comes upon a camp of armed men where she uses her feline wiles to get a meal. She also sees Ashir in chains and hears the men proclaim him a prisoner of New Atlantis. Shakira runs off back to Scarhart for help.

Morgan and Tara lead the Shamballan refugees through the forest toward the Valley of the Lion at the base of Fire Mountain. Suddenly, they’re set upon by lizard-dogs—and behind them New Atlantean soldiers astride other lizard creatures.

Krystovar suggests they take control of a few of the battle-lizards. They can get them to fight each other and disrupt the whole attack.


His plan works!

The refugees win the battle. Though they are reduced in number, they’ve survived to make it to the Valley of the Lion.


They find the valley well suited to their needs and also find a cave—though they are unaware that they are watched by a pair of eyes from within the darkness.

They’re safe for now, but they have to plan to retake Shamballah. The farmers and herders that have with them won’t be enough. Morgan suggests they send a group to weapons cache he found and bring back and many of those advanced weapons as they can. Tara agrees—and says she’ll go with him.

Meanwhile…


Things to Notice:
  • Perhaps a sabretooth tiger headed man isn't the best leader of an army--Lord Saber-Tooth seems more interested in revenge than shoring up his conquests.
  • Shakira and Scarhart reappear for the first time since issue #73 and Ashir for the first time since #63.
Comments:
Despite this issue's title being "Aftermath," it's largely set-up for what's to come. Ashir, Scarhart, and Shakira are brought back into the story, and Morgan's plans regarding the weapons cache is revealed.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

The Wizard's Estate Sale


Lucius T. Malregard, infamous Southron sorceror, has passed on. (His body was found ripped limb from limb and in an advanced state of decay, but that’s another story.) His estate is being sold at auction by his relatives. The following items are on the block:

1. Jelly Monkeys candies in a wax-paper bag: These 5 colorful, gelatinous, monkey-shaped candies have been made into homunculi powered by blood. A pinprick drop of blood in the “mouth” of a Jelly Monkey will animate it for a day and place it under the command of the person whose blood fed it. The monkeys are able to report what they see and hear, though their intellects and vocabularies are limited. If the candy is eaten, a person will experience everything the monkey did that day. The more blood fed to the monkeys (or that they illicitly consume), the larger they will grow--and the more willful they will become (though the changes take time and will not immediately be apparent).

2. Human Skull: An adult human skull with a separated calvarium. If a candle is placed inside, and the skull is in darkness, flickering black and white images (like a kinetoscope) are projected from its eye sockets. These images are essentially clairvoyance (as the spell)--if a specific location is requested (aloud) of the skull. Otherwise, they are random and may be from anywhere in the world. Every night at the stroke of midnight, the skull laughs loudly and says: “Oh, for Heavens sake, Ormsley!”

3. One Past Midnight Man: Selected Recordings: A box of 3 10-inch phonograph records emblazoned with an image of an old-fashioned minstrelsy performer: the One Past Midnight Man. If any of the records are played, strange and backwards sounding voices can be heard overlayed on the primary recording. Upon completion of an record, a 10-inch tall man dressed like the figure on the cover will appear, only he is not in embarrassing blackface, but rather his skin is an unnatural inky black--as if made out of night, itself. He can teach any spell of the necromantic school (and likely others)--for a price.

4. Obscura gossamer: Wound around a bone spindle, is a black and silken, rough outline of a human. In fact, it is a human shadow that if attached to a new host (this process is unknown) obscures the wearer in such a way that they are hidden from magical and nonmagical attempts to find them (short of a wish). People can interact with them normally (if they draw attention to themselves) but won’t remember doing so within minutes. Attaching the shadow is likely permanent.

Saturday, December 24, 2011

'Zat You, Santa Claus?


I hope everyone has a great holiday....


...here are a couple of Christmas pin-ups to help spread the cheer.

Friday, December 23, 2011

The Christmas Ogre Says


Only two days left until Christmas!  Still shopping?  Give the gift of hillbilly ogres, contagious murder ballads, hobogoblins, and man-eating cathouses.  Fill a virtual stocking with Weird Adventures!

Available from the fine retailers at RPGNow and Drivethrurpg.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

All Your Holiday Favorites


In the tradition of yearly holiday television special repeats, I thought I'd revisit a couple classic Christmas-themed posts.  If you've never read 'em, they're all new!

When it's Yule-time in the City, Father Yule may need the help of stalwart adventures.  Find out why.


Speaking of versions of Santa Claus, there are a lot of them from the silly to the....well, somewhat less silly that might be used in gaming. See what sort of adventure may occur when Santa Claus comes to town.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Warlord Wednesday: All Dreams Must Pass

Let's re-enter the lost world with another installment of my issue by issue examination of DC Comic's Warlord, the earlier installments of which can be found here...

"All Dreams Must Pass"
Warlord #75 (November 1983)
Written by Cary Burkett; Penciled by Dan Jurgens; Inked by Bob Smith

Synopsis: In the Palace Library in Shamballah, the lavender-clad and mustachioed troubadour, Graemore, goes looking for Queen Tara, only to find out (to his disappointment) that her mate, Travis Morgan, has returned.

Meanwhile, Morgan and Tara are out riding and having the usual argument about Tara’s responsibility to her kingdom versus Morgan’s wanderlust. Where does it leave their their relationship?

Caught up in their personal drama, neither notices the sinister crow that seems to watch them.

Leagues away, a New Atlantean invasion fleet emerges into Skartaris from the sea passage. It’s led by Lord Saber-Tooth, a beast-man with a mission:


Back in Shamballah, Morgan and Tara’s ride becomes even less pleasant which a strange twister appears out of nowhere. It selectively snatches Morgan up into the air while the crow’s beady eyes gleam with triumph. Morgan manages to use his boot dagger to stake himself to a tree and ride out the weird weather. Almost losing him softens Tara’s heart towards him and it appears Morgan is back in her good graces.

The bird flies to a strange hut deep in the forest. There it transforms into Saaba, the witch our heroes encounter before. The wind elemental was her doing, summoned to get revenge on Morgan for denying her the power of the Eye of Shakakhan (issue #16). She realizes she needs help to get her vengeance. She looks into her crystal ball:


Graemore meets Tara in the palace. He can’t believe she took Morgan back after saying she wouldn’t. He makes no secret of the fact he loves her too and had hoped Morgan gone for good. He wonders what Tara will do when Morgan leaves again?

At that moment, Morgan is pondering the silver cassette and the mysteries of the weapons cache he found. Krystovar shows up, having discovered hints of an Atlantean complex beneath Shamballah. Morgan knows about it (from issue #15) and agrees to show it to him.

Descending into the complex, they find its computers more operational than Morgan thought. He puts the cassette under an analyzer and is shocked when the computer reads it as a U.S. Air Force service record—from over 300 years in the future!


There’s no time to ponder these mysteries, as they get grim news. Kaambuka, kingdom of Morgan’s friend Ashir, has fallen to an invading army that now marches toward Shamballah.

The New Atlantean Army approaches from the north and Saaba is helping them.

The Shamballan defenders fight bravely, but the New Atlanteans have energy cannons and Saaba’s magic. Her elemental smashes the city’s gate. Morgan realizes he must lead a retreat.

Tara, however, refuses to leave her city. Morgan has no choice:


Morgan leads what people he can gather down into the Atlantean complex and out beyond the city’s walls. Lord Saber-Tooth searches for him in the Shamballah’s burning streets in vain.

From a height overlooking the conquered city, Morgan swears to his mate he’ll help her get her kingdom back.

Things to Notice:
  • Graemore has gotten a perm since we last saw him.
  • Where are the other Brood-Brothers?  Does Lord Saber-Tooth go it alone?  And why is he a lord? 
Where it Comes From:
Again, Burkett relies heavily on Warlord lore.  The Graemore-Tara-Morgan triangle introduced in the back in the imposter story arc, Saaba the Witch, and the high-tech Atlantean ruins beneath Shamballah (where previously the computer went insane).