3 hours ago
Friday, January 6, 2012
Work in Progress
As I wait for the proofs of the hardcopy versions of Weird Adventures to come back, I've been following a suggestion of sagacious Porky and working on an index of all the related posts on the City and the Strange New World. It's still in progress, but here's a sample. More to follow.
PEOPLE:
Adventurers
Failed: "Spectacular Losers"
Famous: "Lifestyles of the Adventurous and Famous", "Tall in the Saddle", "Adventurers of Yesteryear"
Men of Magic: "Magic Men"
Tough Guys: "Two Tough Guys"
Adversaries
Criminals, Wanted: "Most Wanted"
Femme Fatales: "Random Femme Fatale Table"
Gaunt, Hieronymus: "Rogue Elephant"
Hell Syndicate: "Hell's Hoods", "A Piece of the Action"
Knights-Templar of Purity: "Legion of Hate"
Sorcerers: "Five Sinister Sorcerers", "The Unknown"
Anomalous Beings
Beings from the Void: "Out of the Void"
Dead God Drag-Racers: "The Dead Travel Fast"
Red Dwarf, the: "In Deep, Crimson Shadows", "Season of the Witch"
Well-Dressed Man from Elsewhere, the: "The Well-Dressed Man from Elsewhere"
Druids: "The City's Druids"
Eikones/God-Like Beings
Cat Lord: "Stray Cat Blues"
Doll: "Spirits of the Age"
Lords of Beasts: "Stray Cat Blues"
Management: "Spirits of the Age"
Maker: "Spirits of the Age"
Phile: "Spirits of the Age"
Ethnic Groups
Dwerg-Folk: "Short People, Big Worm"
Ibernian Little People: "Luck of the Little People"
Immigrants: "Random Immigrant Urban Encounter Table"
Mer-folk: "The Life Aquatic"
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Take the Subway to the Wizard's Sanctum
You may have heard this one: A homeless newsboy in a nameless city follows a mysterious stranger into a subway station.
The stranger leads the boy aboard "a strange subway car, with headlights gleaming like a dragon's eyes," and decorated inside and out with weird, perhaps mystic, symbols. The car "hurtles through the pitch-black tunnel at tremedous speed." Their destination:
And beyond, a cavernous hall decorated with grotesque statues of the iconic failings of man. At the end of the hall, a hierophant sits immobile on a throne, a square block of granite hanging precariously over his head by a slowly unraveling thread.
The wizard is, of course, Shazam and the Boy is Billy Batson. Billy is about to be given the power of six mythological figures. At that point this story becomes a superhero origin, but at all times it's a fantasy story, too. Grant Morrison (in Supergods) sums it up like this:
"the train carries Billy into a deep, dark tunnel that leads from this world to an elevated magical plane where words are superspells that change the nature of reality."
My point is bringing up Whiz Comics #2, is that I think fantasy in an urban setting ought to have a bit more of this and a bit fewer succubus streetwalkers, werewolf bikers, or angels in white Armani suits. Not that there's anything wrong with those things--but they've gotten commonplace. Perfunctory.
There's no reason why fantasy in a modernish setting can't be infused with weird or wonder. We've got plenty of examples: Popeye's pet jeep, the Goon's antagonists, or in a less whimiscal vein, VanderMeer's city of Ambergris suffering under occupation by fungoid invaders. I can't be the only one that wants fantasy in the modern world to be something other than 90's World of Darkness retreads.
The stranger leads the boy aboard "a strange subway car, with headlights gleaming like a dragon's eyes," and decorated inside and out with weird, perhaps mystic, symbols. The car "hurtles through the pitch-black tunnel at tremedous speed." Their destination:
And beyond, a cavernous hall decorated with grotesque statues of the iconic failings of man. At the end of the hall, a hierophant sits immobile on a throne, a square block of granite hanging precariously over his head by a slowly unraveling thread.
The wizard is, of course, Shazam and the Boy is Billy Batson. Billy is about to be given the power of six mythological figures. At that point this story becomes a superhero origin, but at all times it's a fantasy story, too. Grant Morrison (in Supergods) sums it up like this:
"the train carries Billy into a deep, dark tunnel that leads from this world to an elevated magical plane where words are superspells that change the nature of reality."
My point is bringing up Whiz Comics #2, is that I think fantasy in an urban setting ought to have a bit more of this and a bit fewer succubus streetwalkers, werewolf bikers, or angels in white Armani suits. Not that there's anything wrong with those things--but they've gotten commonplace. Perfunctory.
There's no reason why fantasy in a modernish setting can't be infused with weird or wonder. We've got plenty of examples: Popeye's pet jeep, the Goon's antagonists, or in a less whimiscal vein, VanderMeer's city of Ambergris suffering under occupation by fungoid invaders. I can't be the only one that wants fantasy in the modern world to be something other than 90's World of Darkness retreads.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Warlord Wednesday: Let My People Go
Let's re-enter the lost world with 2012's first installment of my issue by issue examination of DC Comic's Warlord, the earlier installments of which can be found here...
Warlord #77 (January 1984)
Written by Cary Burkett; Penciled by Dan Jurgens; Inked by Dan Adkins
Synopsis:
A black cat (Shakira, of course) sneaks into the New Atlantean camp and steals a set of keys. Transforming into human form, she moves to free Ashir from a cage. Unfortunately, she’s caught by a goat-headed beast-man and some soldiers.
Or is she? At that moment, Scarhart drops out a tree above the New Atlanteans and attacks. Our three heroes make their escape into the woods.
Meanwhile, in the secluded Valley of the Lion, Morgan and Tara frolic in a pond. Morgan’s gunbelt and the silver mysterious cassette sit on the ground nearby. At least for a while:
A tender moment between Morgan and Tara is interrupted by Graemore. He tells them Captain Trogero has just returned with yet more refugees. Morgan emerges from the pond to go meet Trogero. He notices the cassette is missing and begins to get suspicious of Graemore.
Elsewhere, a bear-headed Brood Brother and a contigent of Atlantean soldiers prepare to storm Castle Deimos. The sudden appearance of large and terrifying monsters from the castle routs the New Atlantean force. These horrors are illusions created by the magic of Castle Deimos’s mistress, Jennifer Morgan. She decides she needs to find out just who this army is that's disrupting the countryside.
Meanwhile, Scarhart, Shakira, and Ashir capture a warrior that turns out to be a Shamballan soldier. When he realizes who Ashir is, he quickly leads them to the camp in the valley.
Reunited with his friends, Ashir tells Morgan and Tara about the fall of Kaambuka. Now his people are being led away in chains to be slaves in New Atlantis. Krystovar reminds Morgan that the New Atlanteans will have to march their captives to the seacoast for transport. Our heroes have a chance to intercept them.
Morgan and his friends lead a small contingent to set up an ambush. Archers distract the soldiers, while Shakira in feline form sneaks in among their ranks to free the captives. Morgan leads an attack and the Atlanteans are soon fighting a battle on two fronts with Shamballah soldiers and freed slaves.
By putting on their enemy's horned helmets, Morgan and his troops disguise themselves. They lead the captives to the ship awaiting them. Striking with surprise they quickly overwhelm the skeleton force left on guard and seize the ship.
Morgan renames the ship the Wind Shadow. He and Tara plan to take it to the cave of the ancient and secure advanced weapons to put an end to the New Atlantean threat once and for all.
Things to Notice:
A black cat (Shakira, of course) sneaks into the New Atlantean camp and steals a set of keys. Transforming into human form, she moves to free Ashir from a cage. Unfortunately, she’s caught by a goat-headed beast-man and some soldiers.
Or is she? At that moment, Scarhart drops out a tree above the New Atlanteans and attacks. Our three heroes make their escape into the woods.
Meanwhile, in the secluded Valley of the Lion, Morgan and Tara frolic in a pond. Morgan’s gunbelt and the silver mysterious cassette sit on the ground nearby. At least for a while:
A tender moment between Morgan and Tara is interrupted by Graemore. He tells them Captain Trogero has just returned with yet more refugees. Morgan emerges from the pond to go meet Trogero. He notices the cassette is missing and begins to get suspicious of Graemore.
Elsewhere, a bear-headed Brood Brother and a contigent of Atlantean soldiers prepare to storm Castle Deimos. The sudden appearance of large and terrifying monsters from the castle routs the New Atlantean force. These horrors are illusions created by the magic of Castle Deimos’s mistress, Jennifer Morgan. She decides she needs to find out just who this army is that's disrupting the countryside.
Meanwhile, Scarhart, Shakira, and Ashir capture a warrior that turns out to be a Shamballan soldier. When he realizes who Ashir is, he quickly leads them to the camp in the valley.
Reunited with his friends, Ashir tells Morgan and Tara about the fall of Kaambuka. Now his people are being led away in chains to be slaves in New Atlantis. Krystovar reminds Morgan that the New Atlanteans will have to march their captives to the seacoast for transport. Our heroes have a chance to intercept them.
Morgan and his friends lead a small contingent to set up an ambush. Archers distract the soldiers, while Shakira in feline form sneaks in among their ranks to free the captives. Morgan leads an attack and the Atlanteans are soon fighting a battle on two fronts with Shamballah soldiers and freed slaves.
By putting on their enemy's horned helmets, Morgan and his troops disguise themselves. They lead the captives to the ship awaiting them. Striking with surprise they quickly overwhelm the skeleton force left on guard and seize the ship.
Morgan renames the ship the Wind Shadow. He and Tara plan to take it to the cave of the ancient and secure advanced weapons to put an end to the New Atlantean threat once and for all.
Things to Notice:
- Tara disses Shakira's fashion sense (despite the fact they're both dressed in sort of fur bikinis).
- Horned helmets are apparently slaver standard use, as previously seen in issues #2 and 3.
- Virtually all of the Warlord supporting cast appears in this issue (we're just missing those still in the Age of the Wizard-Kings).
Where It Comes From:
The title of this issue is ultimately a reference to the Exodus 7:16: "And the Lord spoke unto Moses, go unto Pharaoh, and say unto him, thus saith the Lord, Let my people go, that they may serve me."
Monday, January 2, 2012
Dead Wizard's Weird Possessions
The executor of Malregard’s estate has put more of the wicked old sorcerer’s belonging up form auction:
A murder’s last breath in ether: A brown glass bottle containing the dying breath of notorious mass murderer Eldred Toombs (executed in 5879). Inhaling the mixture infuses the user with a murderous impulse and the abilities of the maniac template for 1d4x15 minutes. The bottle contains approximately 10 inhalations.
Demonologia Sexualis: A leather-bound copy of the infamous tome detailing the perversions and sex magic rituals of the beings of the lower planes. Possession of a single illustration is probably enough to get one arrest in most jurisdictions. Many demons and devils are willing to barter a service for a copy. There are no doubt dubious advantages to actually reading the tome, as well.
Tape recording of an unknown language: A reel to reel tape labelled “Sample 13, 5882.” The language is unintelligible (even with magic), but the malevolent memetic entity inhabiting the strange, sing-song tongue can infect the brains of listeners. It will attempt to possess the most intelligent individual within hearing range. On a failed saving throw, it takes command of the person's body for a period 1d20 hours. Then, a series of seizures will signal the brain’s rejection of the alien presence. Any time period greater than 5 hours is likely long enough for the entity to launch itself into the astral plane. The entity can be trapped in the host by magical means and induced to reveal what secrets it possesses before the host dies (1d4 days).
A murder’s last breath in ether: A brown glass bottle containing the dying breath of notorious mass murderer Eldred Toombs (executed in 5879). Inhaling the mixture infuses the user with a murderous impulse and the abilities of the maniac template for 1d4x15 minutes. The bottle contains approximately 10 inhalations.
Demonologia Sexualis: A leather-bound copy of the infamous tome detailing the perversions and sex magic rituals of the beings of the lower planes. Possession of a single illustration is probably enough to get one arrest in most jurisdictions. Many demons and devils are willing to barter a service for a copy. There are no doubt dubious advantages to actually reading the tome, as well.
Tape recording of an unknown language: A reel to reel tape labelled “Sample 13, 5882.” The language is unintelligible (even with magic), but the malevolent memetic entity inhabiting the strange, sing-song tongue can infect the brains of listeners. It will attempt to possess the most intelligent individual within hearing range. On a failed saving throw, it takes command of the person's body for a period 1d20 hours. Then, a series of seizures will signal the brain’s rejection of the alien presence. Any time period greater than 5 hours is likely long enough for the entity to launch itself into the astral plane. The entity can be trapped in the host by magical means and induced to reveal what secrets it possesses before the host dies (1d4 days).
Sunday, January 1, 2012
New Year's Day
Then the weird codger just smiles under his beard and says:
“Take it easy, fella. It’s just a yarn.”
And that’s when you realize you were holding your breath. As you let it out slow, it occurs to you that there’s a murmur of “happy new years” around and somewhere the pop of a champagne cork, and there’s a dame standing close with a creased brow and disappointed pout because you didn’t kiss her at the appointed moment. The moment you just missed ‘cause you were listening to some old man’s story about the end of the world.
You take a glass of champagne from a passing waiter. The strange spell seems to be fading with the old year, but you still have to ask: “So what happened. How’d the world get saved, anyway?”
The old man strokes his beard. “It just so happens that Father Time prepares for this eventuality. He knows that the agents of entropy will try to take advantage of the changing of the year, to try and force a premature end to time. He has a plan...”
The new year is born at the center of a maze--almost a giant puzzle box, really-- outside of time and the material plane. Here the new born year can’t be strangled in its crib before temporal custodianship changes hands. All sorts of nefarious forces send their champions to seize it or kill it, true, but Father Time has his champions, as well. He can choose anyone, but it’s often adventurers that make his list. His temporal champions must brave the challenges of the achronal labyrinth and present Father Time's hourglass sigil to the multidimensional titan that guards the neonate year.
Finishing your second glass of champagne, you say, “Guess the good guys won again, huh? I’d be glad to meet one of those guys that saved the world. I’d by ‘em a drink.”
With that he turns to walk for the door. He’s only gone a couple of steps when he stops and half-turns. “Unless, of course, someone tells them.” And then he winks.
“Happy New Year, friend.”
Saturday, December 31, 2011
On New Year's Eve
On New Year’s Eve, the people of the City prepare themselves for a celebration, unaware of the danger--never guessing that more than just a year might be ending.
The eikone Chronos, Father Time, lies near death. His hounds howl in their tesseract kennels and his imbonded servants, the bumbling giants of old chaos, Gog and M’Gog, blubber at his bedside. The old man--the old year--will die at the stroke of midnight.
In the Heavens, the angels gird for war. They double the host in shining panoply that guard the Celestial Gates and patrol the ramparts of paradise. They prepare for possible siege.
In the streets of the world, the soldiers and made men of the Hell Syndicate push bullets into magazines and check the action of their guns nervously. There’s the scent of blood and brimstone in the air. There may be war in the streets.
At the final collapse at the end time, the last singularity pulses omninously. It's vibration plays the funeral dirge of the cosmos; negative energy propagating backwards through time. The beat carries the slavering existence-haters of the Pit and the mad form-refuseniks of the Gyre dancing into the world for one last party.
The material plane draws, moment by moment, closer to the knife-edge of continuation and dissolution. And the clock ticks down.
(to be continued?)
Thursday, December 29, 2011
The Skull's Second Year
Yesterday was the second anniversary of this blog and, as 2011 draws to a close, it seems a doubly good time to look back on my blogging year. Here's a selection of my favorite posts from the past year that you may have missed or forgotten, broken down by category.
Several good Strange New World/City posts didn't make it into Weird Adventures:
"The Dead Travel Fast" - What's not to like about drag-racing elder gods? Johnathan Bingham had in itch to draw these guys, so maybe they will show up again some time.
"The Well-Dressed Man from Elsewhere" - Creepy ultraterrestrials should at least be well-dressed!
"Five Sinister Sorcerers" - Some of these guys showed up in Weird Adventures. Others were just too sinister.
"Meet at the Morgue" - You're about to enter the exciting world of forsenic necromancy...
"Random Queen Encounter Table" - Six queens, not a one of 'em amused.
Monsters:
"Real Dungeon Hazards: Snotties & Slimes" - What? You thought all those various jellies, slimes, and puddings were just made up?
"They Like You for Your Brains" - With a fresh veneer, all your old monsters are new again.
"The Stalker" - "Cause subway stations are scarier than dunes.
Other Stuff:
"Foul Language" - A review of Pontypool turns into a musing on the possible dangers of arcane memorization.
"AD&D Cosmology: A Defense" - what it says.
"Midnight in the House Tenebrous" - A weird place on a weird world.
"An Alternate Spelljammer Setting" - A little more pulp, a little more occult, a little more real world.
Anyway, thanks for reading.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)