On Venus

Wet where Mercury is desert and as fecund as that world is barren, Venus is covered by warm, shallow seas and dense, tropical forests. Its natives are women--or creatures in the semblance of women. They are seldom surpassed in all the Cosmos in beauty, if one can abide their inhumanly colorful skins and their hair the texture of flower petals. They go almost entirely naked and chastity is not counted a virtue among them.

There is a ruler on Venus, recognized by Earthly and Mercurian powers, called the Doge, who is always from another world. This title may be held by a man or woman, but in either case, the floral and lovely native Venerians are the Doge's solicitous wives or concubines. The Doge's identity is always hidden behind an ornate mask of that durable Venerian fungal matter that resembles teak. The ruler scarcely wears any more clothing than the Venerian women, save for the notable exception of an impressive phallocrypt, decorated and enlaided with gold, for public ceremonies.

A Doge’s rule lasts only a Venerian day, as measured by the fixed stars, which is hundreds of Earth days. When the sun sets, the Doge is taken by the Venerians into the forest and is seen no more.


I posted this before, but it's been nearly two years and it beared repeating with Luka Rejec's gourgeous art. It is a follow up to this post.

Get Ready to Enter the Weird Underworld

My Hydra Cooperative partners and I are getting ready to launch a Kickstarter on Monday, October 10, for Operation Unfathomable by writer and artist Jason "Dungeon Dozen" Sholtis. Readers of this blog no doubt know Jason's work and many of you will have no doubt read (and hopefully played) the original version of "Operation Unfathomable" from Knockspell #5. I got to play the original version at NTrpgcon, and I can tell you this expanded version is more of what makes the original so cool: more semi-gonzo weirdness, more underground sandbox, and more art by Jason. Plus, layout by Jez Gordon.

But wait! There's more. Hydra got together with Jason and cooked up a number of cool stretch goals. I've been working with Jason getting the Kickstarter page together. The video alone is going to be worth a small pledge, trust me!

Look for it come Monday.

Warlord Wednesday Flashback

It's Wednesday which means comics, but for years on this blog meant DC Comic's Warlord. Let's re-enter the lost world with flashback installment from almost 6 years ago today of my issue by issue examination of the series. The previous installments can be found here...

"Warpath"

Warlord (vol. 1) #30 (February 1980)

Written and Pencilled by Mike Grell; Inked by Vince Colletta

Synopsis: Morgan is riding to Shamballah through the borderlands between it and Thera, when he hears sounds suggestive of soldiers on the march. Knowing well the enmity between Thera and his wife’s city, he climbs into a tall tree to get a look. What he sees must be nearly the entire Theran garrison on the march--with their only possible destination Shamballah.

That’s when Morgan notices a more immediate danger--a jaguar on the branch next to him, ready to pounce. Morgan draws his knife and lunges first! He and the jaguar battle until they fall from the tree, with the cat getting the worst of it.

Morgan’s got to beat the army to Shamballah, but his horse has run off. He runs, hoping to cut across a swamp to save five miles. He dives into the water...right on top of a big aquatic reptile. He fights the creature, and almost escapes, but then it swallows him whole!

The Warlord’s not an easy meal. He cuts his way out of the creature with his sword. He looks back from the shore to see piranha devouring the corpse. He made it out just in time.

Morgan's not done with the derring-do yet. He starts racing along tree branches and swinging by vines, Tarzan-style. Ahead are the outlying settlements of Shamballah. Morgan has to warn them so they can mount some resistance to the coming attack.

His vine-swinging comes to a halt when the tree in front of him falls. He looks down to see a woodsman with an axe wondering what it is he’s doing. Morgan tells him about the approaching army. He says they have to raise an alarm among the outpost settlements.

The woodsman’s first thought is to warn his family, but Morgan says there isn’t time. The Therans won’t bother with one cottage. He promises to go back to his home with the woodsman once they’ve warned the outposts. The two split up, the woodsman going east and Morgan west. The man reminds Morgan that if anything happens to him, Morgan must warn his family.

After they warn the settlements, the two meet at the bridge across the great gorge, beyond which is the woodsman’s cottage--and the Theran army is upon them. Morgan tells the woodsman to go to his family, but leave him the axe. The woodsman says that Morgan’s either “a great fool or a great hero” as he leaves him to hold the bridge alone.

What Morgan can’t know is that family the woodsman is saving includes a little boy who is actually Joshua--Morgan’s own lost son, taken away by Deimos. Morgan unknowingly saves his own child as he fights an apparently doomed battle against an army.

His family safe, the woodsman releases logs into the river hoping to help Morgan. The logs tumble over the falls. Morgan leaps to safety as they smash the bridge, and take many of the Therans into the gorge.

They’ve beaten the Therans for now, but Morgan knows they’ll soon regroup. He has to get to the garrison at Shamballah to prepare them for total war.

Things to Notice:

• Morgan goes full on Tarzan, in what's possibly the most dangerous 5 miles his ever crossed.
• The peasant family raising Joshua hasn't sold the one-of-a-kind artifact (a wrist watch) the baby sports as an ornament.

Where It Comes From:

The first portion of this issue seems to be an homage to Tarzan.  Morgan engages in a lot of stereotypical Tarzan-esque activities: he fights a big cat with only a knife, fights a crocodile stand-in underwater, and swings on vines.  Morgan even references Johnny Weissmuller, probably the man most associated with the film version of Tarzan. 

The set piece of the issue, Morgan's stand on a narrow bridge armed with an axe was no doubt inspired by an event legend holds occurred at the Battle of Stamford Bridge on September 25, 1066.  The Anglo-Saxon Chronicle says that a giant Norse axemen held the narrow bridge for a time against the entire Saxon army.  He's said to have killed 40 Englishmen single-handed before he was brought down.

Valley of the Bugbears

What the bugbears look like if they weren't invisible

Our 5e Land of Azurth game continued last night. The party had passed through the so-called Black Pit into yet another strange, pocket world. This one was the mountain-ringed Valley of Vo., as they would soon discover.

They made their way to the crashed ship, along the way noting that they could see any birds in the odd fruit trees, despite hearing them. Near the great broken vessel, they were accosted by two voices--though the speakers were unseen, invisible. These were the gatherers Phanuvo and Gadrevo of the Vozerai. They filled the party in on the basics of their valley: invisible "bugbears" and the feud between their people and the Voyanki.

The party gets an audience with Learned One Hanivo. He isn't able to tell them much more than they've already heard: The dama-fruit makes all who eat it invisible. They know the ship carrying them crashed here long ago, but they do not know how long. They also don't know what world they originally came from. The one bit of useful information is that the Pyramidal Mountain on the otherside of the valley has a stairway inside that can take them out.

The group decides to talk with the Vozerai (who are more warlike and so, they reason, may know of some tips for fighting off the bugbears). Approaching the tail section, they encounter a young warrior who gets them a short audience with Shaman Vo Angra. The Vozerai are indeed more bellicose than the Voyanki, but equally ill-informed, and grudge-holding against their foes.

The party decides they'll have to just make a break for it. They make it most of the way across the valley, but then they encounter two bugbears. A vicious battle ensues, but both bears are killed. Dagmar suggests they skin them for fur for invisibility cloaks. A good idea, but the execution leaves them vulnerable to bugbear assault. A total of 3 approach at various points. One they drive off with some damage, and the other two they lure away with offal from the two carcasses. After harvesting one skin, they decide not to press their luck and make for the entrance to the mountain.

The Hungry Gods

A universe with "objective" morality as suggested by alignment in D&D has always been hard to operationalize without silliness.This has led to subsequent additions downplaying it and many groups ignoring it all together.

R. Scott Bakker's novels set in the Prince of Nothing and Aspect-Emperor series suggest a different take on deities, clerics, and alignment that might be useful in gritty, maybe even slightly horrific games. I guess it could be used anywhere really, but some of the implications lend themselves to those sort of settings. Anyway, here's an idea riffing off Bakker's ideas:

So first off, the metaphysical geography: Beyond the physical universe is the Outer Dark. Visitors might perceive planes or realms here due to local control of some being, but really all the heavens and hells are just different regions or aspects of the Outer Dark. This is where human souls go when people die, into the waiting grasp of demons and gods. The difference between the two is only one of power, not substance. All the beings of the Outer Dark feed off the emotions of human souls where it be in life or death. The gentlest of gods has the same diet as the cruelest of demons. Humans are their bread or cattle.

The gods' strategies from cultivating food varies according to their nature. Some gods are Compensatory Deities who reward the faithful with various afterlife paradises, while others are Punitive and are worshiped to placate them against punishing humans. A third group might be termed "Bellicose" because they like humans to strive in opposition to them. These might even damn humans for prayer. These inclinations could be matched to alignments--or perhaps alignment is a reflection of what sort of actions a given god wants humans to take?

In any case, no god is truly "good" in humanocentric terms, because what they ultimately care about is suffering in life leading to humans to develop strong emotions toward them, nourishing them mildly in life, and delivering an eternal repast in the afterlife. Pro-civilization gods encourage humans to prosper, but if humans were too prosperous they wouldn't come to the god with their prayers and bring their devotion.

Alignment then is just the particular set of rules by which the gods use to judge a human soul. It's perhaps unfair and nonsensical if examined too closely, but that's because its only a means to mark and trap human souls for the metaphysical reaping.

Monsters, Blood & Treasure

John M. Stater has released the monster manual for the second edition of his retroclonish Blood & Treasure (discussed, here). While the stat blocks are pretty universal, one might reasonably think if they already have the monster book for their clone of choice, why do they need another? Okay, the cover is awesome, but why else?

It is true that many of the monsters are the usual assortment of humanoids, dragons, demons, and devils, but there are a few SRD notables I haven't seen in any old school product before. There are some new creatures and interesting homages to non-SRD beasties, too, like the "we-don't-need-no-stinking-Modrons" Polyhedroids. All of these stat blocks and descriptions are old school short (I don't think there is a page with less than 2 monsters), it is much more lavishly illustrated than most basic, old school monster books in an array of styles from well-chosen public domain illustration to cartoony. The only downside is that audiences used to modern monster books pinups, these will seem small. All in all, these traits make it probably the most AD&D Monster Manual of monster books I have seen.

There are the usual encounter charts by terrain, plane, and level. There are quick rules for many monsters as PC races. The typical extras, in other words. There are also a handful of one page "mini-adventures," all short and flavorful. John is good at this sort of thing as his hexcrawls attest. I'm not the only one that thinks so.

If any of that sounds good to you, you should check it out. Certainly if you already have Blood & Treasure 2e, you'll want it.

Wandering the Planet of the Apes

"THE DESERT" 

Player Characters:
Jeff Call as Brock Irving
Jarrett Crader as Aurelius
Justin Davis as Conrad "Rip" Ripper
Lester B. Portly as Eddy Woodward
Jason Sholtis as Francis La Cava

Nonplayer Characters:
Morgan Farley as Ilpasa Elder
Gorilla Troopers
Ilpasa Tribesfolk

Synopsis: The astronauts and their chimpanzee friend set off across the desert in search of human tribes and discover hints of another enemy.

Commentary:
Leaving the Pax base at Carlsbad, the group was not completely certain of what particularly course south they should take. Eezaya had said his people lived along "the ancient border," but that was pretty nonspecific. They decided to return to their ship to survey from the air, even though they knew their fuel was low.

A roll on a slightly modified version of the X4: Master of the Desert Nomads random encounter table suggested an encounter with an enemy patrol: They found four gorilla troopers investigating the ship. As formulated a plan to deal with them, a strange mechanical sound and trail of black over the next hill got the gorilla's attention. They quickly rode off in pursuit.

Quickly, pre-packing the ship and taking off, the group wanted to see what the fuss was about. Flying low (burning more fuel) they saw a weird, smoke-belching contraption leveling an ape homestead little more than a mile from where they had landed. The gorillas rode toward it, but didn't get there until the thing had drove off into a wooded area in the direction of the Pecos River. The group debated whether to investigate that weirdness, but ultimately decided to fly on. The players that had been in the last session were concerned this was likely to be the mutants the Pax-droids had mentioned.

They fly out toward the west, looking for the Rio Grande. They find it and see what appear to be human settlements, based on the more primitive design. Landing at a flat part of the desert, Woodward doesn't get high enough on his piloting roll and winds up damaging one of the thrusters. It's probably repairable, though no one ever rolls to try and find out for certain.

Walking across the desert to the camp provokes another random encounter roll. This time a gorgon, for which a giant iguana is a good substitute.

LaCava reminds them all its herbivorous, and they give it wide berth.

The villagers are understandably wary, but hospitable (the flags on their flight suits help). There is a curious lack of warriors in their prime among them, which later they are told is due to the Mehi and their mutant allies.

The people call themselves the Patryot Nation and revere the ancient American flag and apparently the King James Bible. This particular tribe is the Ilpassa. Eezaya is of the more ape-hating Tehis.

The Ilpassa Elder they speak with is fatigued by their antics, but seems fooled by their passing off a spacesuit-clad Aurelius as their "grandfather."

In the end, the group isn't interested in the plight of the Ilpasa, and their fight with the mutants. They head out South along the river to find the Tehi.