Look What Came in the Mail

Well, that and this:

That's the hardcover and the softcover.  Here's a peak at the insides:

Warlord Wednesday: Doom's Mouth!

Let's re-enter the lost world with another installment of my issue by issue examination of DC Comic's Warlord, the earlier installments of which can be found here...

"Doom's Mouth!"

Warlord #78 (February 1984)

Written by Cary Burkett; Penciled by Dan Jurgens; Inked by Mike DeCarlo

Synopsis: Morgan, Tara, and their companions sail the newly-christened Wind Shadow in the sea-passage cave lit by “weirdly glowing minerals” in its walls on their way to New Atlantis. They're scarcely inside the tunnel when they sight a New Atlantean warship headed their way. It doesn’t take long for the Atlanteans to realize the Wind Shadow isn’t one of their own, and they open fire.

Our heroes don’t have weapons to match, so Morgan decides to play a game of “chicken.” The Lizard-headed captain of the other vessel believes the crew of the Wind Shadow must be mad as the ship picks up speed and appears to be preparing to ram his ship. He panics and orders a rash turn to starboard:

Their enemy sank by their own hand, our protagonists sail on. Exploring the ship, Morgan discovers (to his delight) that the New Atlanteans have discovered tobacco and have a barrel full of cigars. He tries one:

The lesson: Don’t smoke, kids.

Soon, the ship reaches the place where Morgan blasted a whole out of the weapons cache cave. They anchor the ship and enter the passage. After travelling a distance, they discover they’re not alone:

Scarhart and Krystovar manage to kill the creature, but not before its tail-spine skewers one of the Shamballan guards.

When our heroes reach the cache, the others are as impressed as Morgan was when he first saw it. Krystovar comments that the saucercraft alone would give them an advantage over the New Atlanteans, if they could only figure out how to use them. Looking for a way to open one, Morgan notices a slot that the silver cassette he had would fit perfectly.

He takes a cartridge from the stack on the floor. It does fit, but it doesn’t do anything. After chastising Shakira for knocking over a stack of them, Morgan finds a surprise: A cartridge with his name on it!

Krystovar notices the saucers have numbers on them like the cassettes and suggests they try to match them. Putting the cartridge with his name on it in the matching saucer, Morgan finds the top opens. Krystovar and Morgan climb in to check out the inside.

Meanwhile, Shakira has tracked a rat:

Running in fear, she jumps into the arms of a surprised Morgan. He falls backwards into the saucer’s controls. The canopy closes and the craft disappears in a whirl of smoke!

Things to Notice:

• Tara never wastes an oppurtunity to show her dislike of Shakira.
• A comic book protagonist smoking?  Wouldn't happen in kid's comics of 2011!

Where It Comes From:

The battle with the giant arthopod was possibly inspired by the giant scorpion fight in the original Clash of the Titans (1981) perhaps with influence from the clash with the giant crab in another Harryhausen film Mysterious Island (1961).

Weavers in Darkness

If the rumors are to be believed, in the places below the City, one can sometimes encounter creatures half-woman and half-spider. Unfortunate creatures--and dangerous ones.

The spider hybrids are the result of past illegal and immoral thaumaturgic practices in the City’s garment industry. Before the muckracking exposés and the formation of the Garment Workers Union, destitute young girls were preyed upon in a horrific way. Using thaumaturgic arts stolen from pagan temples of the Far East, unscrupulous sweatshop owners had these girls transformed, into spider centaur-things. The silk produced by these creatures was valued for its strength and its ability to hold enchantment better than mundane fabrics (halves the time for creating magical items).

After the practice was put to an end, not all the hyrbids were accounted for. It’s possible some escaped into the underground beneath the city. Here they spin--and hunt. Their minds shattered by the trauma they have undergone, they’re given to unpredictable, murderous rages.

Spider-woman: HD: 5; AC: 3; Attacks 1 bite (1d4+poison) or with improvised weapon; Move 12.

The City Indexed

The Weird Adventures Index is online.  It can be reached from this post or the link under "Pages" in the sidebar.  It continues to be a work in progress, but there are already a lot of posts in a wide away of topics to review.  Which topics got a heading and which ones didn't is a bit arbitrary--and subject to future revision.

On the Weird Adventures hardcopy front: The files have been accepted by the printers, and I'm awaiting my copies to proof.  Assuming everything looks good, expect those to be available for purchase soon.

Work in Progress

As I wait for the proofs of the hardcopy versions of Weird Adventures to come back, I've been following a suggestion of sagacious Porky and working on an index of all the related posts on the City and the Strange New World.  It's still in progress, but here's a sample.  More to follow.

PEOPLE:
Adventurers
    Failed: "Spectacular Losers"
    Famous: "Lifestyles of the Adventurous and Famous", "Tall in the Saddle", "Adventurers of Yesteryear"
    Men of Magic: "Magic Men"
    Tough Guys: "Two Tough Guys"
Adversaries
    Criminals, Wanted: "Most Wanted"
    Femme Fatales: "Random Femme Fatale Table"
    Gaunt, Hieronymus: "Rogue Elephant"
    Hell Syndicate: "Hell's Hoods", "A Piece of the Action"
    Knights-Templar of Purity: "Legion of Hate"
    Sorcerers: "Five Sinister Sorcerers", "The Unknown"
Anomalous Beings
     Beings from the Void: "Out of the Void"
     Dead God Drag-Racers: "The Dead Travel Fast"
     Red Dwarf, the: "In Deep, Crimson Shadows", "Season of the Witch"
     Well-Dressed Man from Elsewhere, the: "The Well-Dressed Man from Elsewhere"
Druids: "The City's Druids"
Eikones/God-Like Beings
     Cat Lord: "Stray Cat Blues"
     Doll: "Spirits of the Age"
     Lords of Beasts: "Stray Cat Blues"
     Management: "Spirits of the Age"
     Maker: "Spirits of the Age"
     Phile: "Spirits of the Age"
Ethnic Groups
     Dwerg-Folk: "Short People, Big Worm"
     Ibernian Little People: "Luck of the Little People"
     Immigrants: "Random Immigrant Urban Encounter Table"
     Mer-folk: "The Life Aquatic"

Take the Subway to the Wizard's Sanctum

You may have heard this one: A homeless newsboy in a nameless city follows a mysterious stranger into a subway station. 

The stranger leads the boy aboard "a strange subway car, with headlights gleaming like a dragon's eyes," and decorated inside and out with weird, perhaps mystic, symbols.  The car "hurtles through the pitch-black tunnel at tremedous speed."  Their destination:

And beyond, a cavernous hall decorated with grotesque statues of the iconic failings of man.  At the end of the hall, a hierophant sits immobile on a throne, a square block of granite hanging precariously over his head by a slowly unraveling thread.

The wizard is, of course, Shazam and the Boy is Billy Batson.  Billy is about to be given the power of six mythological figures. At that point this story becomes a superhero origin, but at all times it's a fantasy story, too.  Grant Morrison (in Supergods) sums it up like this:

"the train carries Billy into a deep, dark tunnel that leads from this world to an elevated magical plane where words are superspells that change the nature of reality."

My point is bringing up Whiz Comics #2, is that I think fantasy in an urban setting ought to have a bit more of this and a bit fewer succubus streetwalkers, werewolf bikers, or angels in white Armani suits.  Not that there's anything wrong with those things--but they've gotten commonplace.  Perfunctory.

There's no reason why fantasy in a modernish setting can't be infused with weird or wonder.  We've got plenty of examples: Popeye's pet jeep, the Goon's antagonists, or in a less whimiscal vein, VanderMeer's city of Ambergris suffering under occupation by fungoid invaders. I can't be the only one that wants fantasy in the modern world to be something other than 90's World of Darkness retreads.

Warlord Wednesday: Let My People Go

Let's re-enter the lost world with 2012's first installment of my issue by issue examination of DC Comic's Warlord, the earlier installments of which can be found here...

"Let My People Go"

Warlord #77 (January 1984)

Written by Cary Burkett; Penciled by Dan Jurgens; Inked by Dan Adkins

Synopsis:
A black cat (Shakira, of course) sneaks into the New Atlantean camp and steals a set of keys. Transforming into human form, she moves to free Ashir from a cage. Unfortunately, she’s caught by a goat-headed beast-man and some soldiers.

Or is she? At that moment, Scarhart drops out a tree above the New Atlanteans and attacks. Our three heroes make their escape into the woods.

Meanwhile, in the secluded Valley of the Lion, Morgan and Tara frolic in a pond. Morgan’s gunbelt and the silver mysterious cassette sit on the ground nearby. At least for a while:

A tender moment between Morgan and Tara is interrupted by Graemore. He tells them Captain Trogero has just returned with yet more refugees. Morgan emerges from the pond to go meet Trogero. He notices the cassette is missing and begins to get suspicious of Graemore.

Elsewhere, a bear-headed Brood Brother and a contigent of Atlantean soldiers prepare to storm Castle Deimos. The sudden appearance of large and terrifying monsters from the castle routs the New Atlantean force. These horrors are illusions created by the magic of Castle Deimos’s mistress, Jennifer Morgan. She decides she needs to find out just who this army is that's disrupting the countryside.

Meanwhile, Scarhart, Shakira, and Ashir capture a warrior that turns out to be a Shamballan soldier. When he realizes who Ashir is, he quickly leads them to the camp in the valley.

Reunited with his friends, Ashir tells Morgan and Tara about the fall of Kaambuka. Now his people are being led away in chains to be slaves in New Atlantis. Krystovar reminds Morgan that the New Atlanteans will have to march their captives to the seacoast for transport. Our heroes have a chance to intercept them.

Morgan and his friends lead a small contingent to set up an ambush. Archers distract the soldiers, while Shakira in feline form sneaks in among their ranks to free the captives. Morgan leads an attack and the Atlanteans are soon fighting a battle on two fronts with Shamballah soldiers and freed slaves.

By putting on their enemy's horned helmets, Morgan and his troops disguise themselves. They lead the captives to the ship awaiting them. Striking with surprise they quickly overwhelm the skeleton force left on guard and seize the ship.

Morgan renames the ship the Wind Shadow. He and Tara plan to take it to the cave of the ancient and secure advanced weapons to put an end to the New Atlantean threat once and for all.

Things to Notice:

• Tara disses Shakira's fashion sense (despite the fact they're both dressed in sort of fur bikinis).
• Horned helmets are apparently slaver standard use, as previously seen in issues #2 and 3.
• Virtually all of the Warlord supporting cast appears in this issue (we're just missing those still in the Age of the Wizard-Kings).

Where It Comes From:

The title of this issue is ultimately a reference to the Exodus 7:16: "And the Lord spoke unto Moses, go unto Pharaoh, and say unto him, thus saith the Lord, Let my people go, that they may serve me."

Dead Wizard's Weird Possessions

The executor of Malregard’s estate has put more of the wicked old sorcerer’s belonging up form auction:

A murder’s last breath in ether: A brown glass bottle containing the dying breath of notorious mass murderer Eldred Toombs (executed in 5879). Inhaling the mixture infuses the user with a murderous impulse and the abilities of the maniac template for 1d4x15 minutes. The bottle contains approximately 10 inhalations.

Demonologia Sexualis: A leather-bound copy of the infamous tome detailing the perversions and sex magic rituals of the beings of the lower planes. Possession of a single illustration is probably enough to get one arrest in most jurisdictions. Many demons and devils are willing to barter a service for a copy. There are no doubt dubious advantages to actually reading the tome, as well.

Tape recording of an unknown language: A reel to reel tape labelled “Sample 13, 5882.” The language is unintelligible (even with magic), but the malevolent memetic entity inhabiting the strange, sing-song tongue can infect the brains of listeners. It will attempt to possess the most intelligent individual within hearing range. On a failed saving throw, it takes command of the person's body for a period 1d20 hours. Then, a series of seizures will signal the brain’s rejection of the alien presence. Any time period greater than 5 hours is likely long enough for the entity to launch itself into the astral plane. The entity can be trapped in the host by magical means and induced to reveal what secrets it possesses before the host dies (1d4 days).

New Year's Day

Then the weird codger just smiles under his beard and says:

“Take it easy, fella. It’s just a yarn.”

And that’s when you realize you were holding your breath. As you let it out slow, it occurs to you that there’s a murmur of “happy new years” around and somewhere the pop of a champagne cork, and there’s a dame standing close with a creased brow and disappointed pout because you didn’t kiss her at the appointed moment. The moment you just missed ‘cause you were listening to some old man’s story about the end of the world.

You take a glass of champagne from a passing waiter. The strange spell seems to be fading with the old year, but you still have to ask: “So what happened. How’d the world get saved, anyway?”

The old man strokes his beard. “It just so happens that Father Time prepares for this eventuality. He knows that the agents of entropy will try to take advantage of the changing of the year, to try and force a premature end to time. He has a plan...”

The new year is born at the center of a maze--almost a giant puzzle box, really-- outside of time and the material plane. Here the new born year can’t be strangled in its crib before temporal custodianship changes hands. All sorts of nefarious forces send their champions to seize it or kill it, true, but Father Time has his champions, as well. He can choose anyone, but it’s often adventurers that make his list. His temporal champions must brave the challenges of the achronal labyrinth and present Father Time's hourglass sigil to the multidimensional titan that guards the neonate year.

Finishing your second glass of champagne, you say, “Guess the good guys won again, huh? I’d be glad to meet one of those guys that saved the world. I’d by ‘em a drink.”

The old man shrugs and puts on his hat like he’s going to leave. “Well, the thing about that is, none of those brave souls ever remember what they did. The maze is outside of time. Everything that happens there occurs in less than an instant and outside of causality as we know it here. No, I’m afraid none of them has any idea what they accomplished.”

With that he turns to walk for the door. He’s only gone a couple of steps when he stops and half-turns. “Unless, of course, someone tells them.” And then he winks.

“Happy New Year, friend.”

On New Year's Eve

On New Year’s Eve, the people of the City prepare themselves for a celebration, unaware of the danger--never guessing that more than just a year might be ending.

The eikone Chronos, Father Time, lies near death. His hounds howl in their tesseract kennels and his imbonded servants, the bumbling giants of old chaos, Gog and M’Gog, blubber at his bedside. The old man--the old year--will die at the stroke of midnight.

In the Heavens, the angels gird for war. They double the host in shining panoply that guard the Celestial Gates and patrol the ramparts of paradise. They prepare for possible siege.

In the streets of the world, the soldiers and made men of the Hell Syndicate push bullets into magazines and check the action of their guns nervously. There’s the scent of blood and brimstone in the air. There may be war in the streets.

At the final collapse at the end time, the last singularity pulses omninously. It's vibration plays the funeral dirge of the cosmos; negative energy propagating backwards through time. The beat carries the slavering existence-haters of the Pit and the mad form-refuseniks of the Gyre dancing into the world for one last party.

The material plane draws, moment by moment, closer to the knife-edge of continuation and dissolution. And the clock ticks down.

(to be continued?)

The Skull's Second Year

Yesterday was the second anniversary of this blog and, as 2011 draws to a close, it seems a doubly good time to look back on my blogging year.  Here's a selection of my favorite posts from the past year that you may have missed or forgotten, broken down by category.

Several good Strange New World/City posts didn't make it into Weird Adventures:
"The Dead Travel Fast" - What's not to like about drag-racing elder gods?  Johnathan Bingham had in itch to draw these guys, so maybe they will show up again some time.
"The Well-Dressed Man from Elsewhere" - Creepy ultraterrestrials should at least be well-dressed!
"Five Sinister Sorcerers" - Some of these guys showed up in Weird Adventures.  Others were just too sinister.
"Meet at the Morgue" - You're about to enter the exciting world of forsenic necromancy...
"Random Queen Encounter Table" - Six queens, not a one of 'em amused.

Monsters:
"Real Dungeon Hazards: Snotties & Slimes" - What? You thought all those various jellies, slimes, and puddings were just made up?
"They Like You for Your Brains" - With a fresh veneer, all your old monsters are new again.
"The Stalker" - "Cause subway stations are scarier than dunes.

Other Stuff:
"Foul Language" - A review of Pontypool turns into a musing on the possible dangers of arcane memorization.
"AD&D Cosmology: A Defense" - what it says.
"Midnight in the House Tenebrous" - A weird place on a weird world.
"An Alternate Spelljammer Setting" - A little more pulp, a little more occult, a little more real world.

Anyway, thanks for reading.

Warlord Wednesday: Aftermath

Let's re-enter the lost world with another installment of my issue by issue examination of DC Comic's Warlord, the earlier installments of which can be found here...

"Aftermath"

Warlord #76 (December 1983)

Written by Cary Burkett; Penciled by Dan Jurgens; Inked by Bob Smith

Synopsis: In conquered Shamballah, Lord Saber-Tooth rages against the witch, Saaba. She promised him the Warlord, but Travis Morgan escaped! Saber-Tooth sends out lizard-dogs and a mounted search party to find him. Saaba transforms into a bird to do her own search.

In the nearby forests, Morgan is feeling Tara’s anger. She suggests he should have left her with her city instead of knocking her out and carting her away. Morgan counters that she would have done little good to her surviving people by dying on the Shamballah’s walls. Tara realizes he’s right, and begins giving commands to her soldiers to get the people ready to move to a place of safety.

Leagues away, Shakira and Scarhart are chafing under the rules of the Kaash’Ban. As friends to all animals, they forbid hunting, and Shakira and Scarhart are hunters. Scarhart chooses to abide by the rules and stay, but Shakira sets out on her own in a fit of pique.

In cat form, she comes upon a camp of armed men where she uses her feline wiles to get a meal. She also sees Ashir in chains and hears the men proclaim him a prisoner of New Atlantis. Shakira runs off back to Scarhart for help.

Morgan and Tara lead the Shamballan refugees through the forest toward the Valley of the Lion at the base of Fire Mountain. Suddenly, they’re set upon by lizard-dogs—and behind them New Atlantean soldiers astride other lizard creatures.

Krystovar suggests they take control of a few of the battle-lizards. They can get them to fight each other and disrupt the whole attack.

His plan works!

The refugees win the battle. Though they are reduced in number, they’ve survived to make it to the Valley of the Lion.

They find the valley well suited to their needs and also find a cave—though they are unaware that they are watched by a pair of eyes from within the darkness.

They’re safe for now, but they have to plan to retake Shamballah. The farmers and herders that have with them won’t be enough. Morgan suggests they send a group to weapons cache he found and bring back and many of those advanced weapons as they can. Tara agrees—and says she’ll go with him.

Meanwhile…

Things to Notice:

• Perhaps a sabretooth tiger headed man isn't the best leader of an army--Lord Saber-Tooth seems more interested in revenge than shoring up his conquests.
• Shakira and Scarhart reappear for the first time since issue #73 and Ashir for the first time since #63.

Comments:

Despite this issue's title being "Aftermath," it's largely set-up for what's to come. Ashir, Scarhart, and Shakira are brought back into the story, and Morgan's plans regarding the weapons cache is revealed.

The Wizard's Estate Sale

Lucius T. Malregard, infamous Southron sorceror, has passed on. (His body was found ripped limb from limb and in an advanced state of decay, but that’s another story.) His estate is being sold at auction by his relatives. The following items are on the block:

1. Jelly Monkeys candies in a wax-paper bag: These 5 colorful, gelatinous, monkey-shaped candies have been made into homunculi powered by blood. A pinprick drop of blood in the “mouth” of a Jelly Monkey will animate it for a day and place it under the command of the person whose blood fed it. The monkeys are able to report what they see and hear, though their intellects and vocabularies are limited. If the candy is eaten, a person will experience everything the monkey did that day. The more blood fed to the monkeys (or that they illicitly consume), the larger they will grow--and the more willful they will become (though the changes take time and will not immediately be apparent).

2. Human Skull: An adult human skull with a separated calvarium. If a candle is placed inside, and the skull is in darkness, flickering black and white images (like a kinetoscope) are projected from its eye sockets. These images are essentially clairvoyance (as the spell)--if a specific location is requested (aloud) of the skull. Otherwise, they are random and may be from anywhere in the world. Every night at the stroke of midnight, the skull laughs loudly and says: “Oh, for Heavens sake, Ormsley!”

3. One Past Midnight Man: Selected Recordings: A box of 3 10-inch phonograph records emblazoned with an image of an old-fashioned minstrelsy performer: the One Past Midnight Man. If any of the records are played, strange and backwards sounding voices can be heard overlayed on the primary recording. Upon completion of an record, a 10-inch tall man dressed like the figure on the cover will appear, only he is not in embarrassing blackface, but rather his skin is an unnatural inky black--as if made out of night, itself. He can teach any spell of the necromantic school (and likely others)--for a price.

4. Obscura gossamer: Wound around a bone spindle, is a black and silken, rough outline of a human. In fact, it is a human shadow that if attached to a new host (this process is unknown) obscures the wearer in such a way that they are hidden from magical and nonmagical attempts to find them (short of a wish). People can interact with them normally (if they draw attention to themselves) but won’t remember doing so within minutes. Attaching the shadow is likely permanent.

'Zat You, Santa Claus?

I hope everyone has a great holiday....

...here are a couple of Christmas pin-ups to help spread the cheer.

The Christmas Ogre Says

Only two days left until Christmas!  Still shopping?  Give the gift of hillbilly ogres, contagious murder ballads, hobogoblins, and man-eating cathouses.  Fill a virtual stocking with Weird Adventures!

Available from the fine retailers at RPGNow and Drivethrurpg.

All Your Holiday Favorites

In the tradition of yearly holiday television special repeats, I thought I'd revisit a couple classic Christmas-themed posts.  If you've never read 'em, they're all new!

When it's Yule-time in the City, Father Yule may need the help of stalwart adventures.  Find out why.

Speaking of versions of Santa Claus, there are a lot of them from the silly to the....well, somewhat less silly that might be used in gaming. See what sort of adventure may occur when Santa Claus comes to town.

Warlord Wednesday: All Dreams Must Pass

Let's re-enter the lost world with another installment of my issue by issue examination of DC Comic's Warlord, the earlier installments of which can be found here...

"All Dreams Must Pass"

Warlord #75 (November 1983)

Written by Cary Burkett; Penciled by Dan Jurgens; Inked by Bob Smith

Synopsis: In the Palace Library in Shamballah, the lavender-clad and mustachioed troubadour, Graemore, goes looking for Queen Tara, only to find out (to his disappointment) that her mate, Travis Morgan, has returned.

Meanwhile, Morgan and Tara are out riding and having the usual argument about Tara’s responsibility to her kingdom versus Morgan’s wanderlust. Where does it leave their their relationship?

Caught up in their personal drama, neither notices the sinister crow that seems to watch them.

Leagues away, a New Atlantean invasion fleet emerges into Skartaris from the sea passage. It’s led by Lord Saber-Tooth, a beast-man with a mission:

Back in Shamballah, Morgan and Tara’s ride becomes even less pleasant which a strange twister appears out of nowhere. It selectively snatches Morgan up into the air while the crow’s beady eyes gleam with triumph. Morgan manages to use his boot dagger to stake himself to a tree and ride out the weird weather. Almost losing him softens Tara’s heart towards him and it appears Morgan is back in her good graces.

The bird flies to a strange hut deep in the forest. There it transforms into Saaba, the witch our heroes encounter before. The wind elemental was her doing, summoned to get revenge on Morgan for denying her the power of the Eye of Shakakhan (issue #16). She realizes she needs help to get her vengeance. She looks into her crystal ball:

Graemore meets Tara in the palace. He can’t believe she took Morgan back after saying she wouldn’t. He makes no secret of the fact he loves her too and had hoped Morgan gone for good. He wonders what Tara will do when Morgan leaves again?

At that moment, Morgan is pondering the silver cassette and the mysteries of the weapons cache he found. Krystovar shows up, having discovered hints of an Atlantean complex beneath Shamballah. Morgan knows about it (from issue #15) and agrees to show it to him.

Descending into the complex, they find its computers more operational than Morgan thought. He puts the cassette under an analyzer and is shocked when the computer reads it as a U.S. Air Force service record—from over 300 years in the future!

There’s no time to ponder these mysteries, as they get grim news. Kaambuka, kingdom of Morgan’s friend Ashir, has fallen to an invading army that now marches toward Shamballah.

The New Atlantean Army approaches from the north and Saaba is helping them.

The Shamballan defenders fight bravely, but the New Atlanteans have energy cannons and Saaba’s magic. Her elemental smashes the city’s gate. Morgan realizes he must lead a retreat.

Tara, however, refuses to leave her city. Morgan has no choice:

Morgan leads what people he can gather down into the Atlantean complex and out beyond the city’s walls. Lord Saber-Tooth searches for him in the Shamballah’s burning streets in vain.

From a height overlooking the conquered city, Morgan swears to his mate he’ll help her get her kingdom back.

Things to Notice:

• Graemore has gotten a perm since we last saw him.
• Where are the other Brood-Brothers?  Does Lord Saber-Tooth go it alone?  And why is he a lord? 

Where it Comes From:

Again, Burkett relies heavily on Warlord lore.  The Graemore-Tara-Morgan triangle introduced in the back in the imposter story arc, Saaba the Witch, and the high-tech Atlantean ruins beneath Shamballah (where previously the computer went insane).

Weird Adventures Outtake and Review

Those of you who've picked up Weird Adventures (and thank you) have no doubt noticed a few advertisements sprinkled here and there for products or services not available in our world.  There were some others that didn't make it into the pdf--like the one that was going to feature this logo for Brown Jenkin Whiskey:

Aged in non-Euclidean barrels, I hear.  Brown Jenkin Whiskey: Look for it where you find other potent spirits.

Anyway, Satyre has a thorough (and positive) review of Weird Adventures here.  Aos, ruler of the Metal Earth, is less detailed but unambiguous in his advice to "buy it now."  They're both very wise men.

McDungeonland

In the proud tradition of the EX series of modules, consider this isolated valley (or maybe a demi-plane) inhabited by strange creatures--some of them with foodstuffs for heads...

Stranglely, despite being part foodstuff themselves, the inhabitants cheerfully consume the talking food that exists ready-made in their environment: There are patches of cheerful "hamburgers," trees that grow apple pies, a lake teeming with breaded and fried fish, and even a small volcano which oozes a frozen chocolate beverage.

The strange land is not without its dangers.  There are small, bespectacled goblins ("gobblins"), shaggy and colorful, who will steal food from the unaware.  A humanoid of piratical dress and demeanor wll menace those who take the fried fish from the lake.  A masked humanoid thief in cloak and stripped outfit likewise steals food, but he favors beef.  Finally, there is a purple blob-like creature that can manifest two or four arms, who is sometimes benign, but other times may attack to steal the "shakes" which emerge from the volcano.  The creature may be some sort of "shake" elemental, himself.

Though not in a overt position of leadership, the secret ruler of the land is a clown in motley with a friendly demeanor--but perhaps less friendly goals.

Weird Adventures is Here!

The wait is over!  Weird Adventures is now available in pdf form at RPGNow and Drivethrurpg (so choose your favorite portal).

It's 165 pages (black and white with 4 full color maps) featuring:

• City Confidential--A guide to the 5 baronies, numerous neighborhood, and weird locales of the City.
• A guide to the Strange New World beyond the City, including the mysterious jungles of Asciana, morbid and insurrection-torn Zingaro, the gambler-haven of Faro City, and much more.
• Thirty new monsters from "Black Blizzard" para-elemental to "Zombie, Cuijatepecan."
• Adventure seeds and a mini-crawl through the City's largest (and weirdest) park.
• Art by old school stalwarts Johnathan Bingham, Chris Huth, and Stefan Poag, plus great work from comic artists Reno Maniquis and Adam Moore, among others.

For those of you pining for Weird Adventures in hardcopy, that's coming in the New Year.  They'll be a discount for the purchase of both the pdf and the print of demand versions.

Thanks to everyone for their support over the (longer than expected) time to do this project.  I hope it was worth the wait.

Wizardly Trade Union

It’s traditional in fantasy for thieves to have guilds (probably not like the Lollipop Guild above), but wizards may or may not have professional organizations. For every Mages or Sorcerers Guild in literature there are a number of lone wolves, like Merlin, or members of very select crews, like Gandalf and Saruman.

Magic-user organizations are actually somewhat attested to historically. The Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn and Crowley’s Argenteum Astrum are two examples. The line between coven, cabal, and cult admittedly gets blurry when looking at the real world; theurgy and thaumaturgy are not so cleanly separated as they are in games.

Fantasy literature gives some good examples. The Aes Sedai of the Wheel of Time where sort of Lensmen/Green Lantern Corps of a previous age, but by the time of the main story are more like a church or monastic order. The vengeful Bondsmagi of Lynch’s Locke Lamorra series are a like a mercenary company, protectionist guild--and criminal organization. The various Schools of Bakker’s Prince of Nothing and Aspect-Emperor series are practitioners/protectors of specific paradigms of sorcery and feel certain sociopolitical niches.

All of these could be good models for rpg wizardly organizations, but is there any reason to stop at just one? Mages in different cultures/locales might take on very different roles: anointed-by-the-gods rulers in one nation and mercenary hoarders of knowledge in another.

So are there magic-user organizations in your setting? What role do they take?

Tarrasque Harvesting

What do you do with a gigantic, immortal monster stalking the wild places? If you’re a daring and entrepreneurial sort in Ealderde, Eura, or even the City, you harvest the living behemoth for anything of value.

Nobody knows where the Tarrasque came from, though there are a lot of theories: Staarkish Kriegsungeheuer--it’s gargantuan parts grown in separate industrial alchemical vats and melded together by cunning biothaumaturgy? An eikone given flesh, collective animus of the saurian monsters of prehistory? Alien? Elder God? There are as many ideas as the Tarrasque has spines.

Wherever it came from, the monster stalks cross Eura from Korambeck to the Arctic Wastes. It periodically enters periods of turpor lasting days to weeks, where it crouches, umoving and close to the ground. These are the times when harvesters can safely climb aboard the monster with little risk of winding up in its stomach. Once encamped, they take adamantine-tipped jackhammers and alchemical solvents to its hide. They scrap off carapace to sell to armorers and artificers, jar its ichor for alchemists, physicians, and thaumaturgists, smuggle its glandular secretions to junkies and assassins, and even trap its lice for whoever is willing to pay.

Most harvesters ship out for a few months. They erect tents in hammock-like nets affixed to the monster's hide; it takes little notice of them most of the time. Daring flyers dart in to hook dangling bags of material for sale, and eventually, harvesters headed for home.

Exposure to the creature is inherently toxic. All but the best preserved (and least flavorful) foodstuffs spoil rapidly. Plants die within days; small animals may last a week or more. Humans can last months, but many harvesters find it prudent to wear lead-lined suits. Even still, cancers and neurologic ailments are more common among those that have dwelled on the Tarrasque than the general population, and harvesters seem to age before there time.

Warlord Wednesday: Home Again, Home Again

Let's re-enter the lost world with another installment of my issue by issue examination of DC Comic's Warlord, the earlier installments of which can be found here...

"Home Again, Home Again"

Warlord #74 (October 1983)

Written by Cary Burkett; Penciled by Dan Jurgens; Inked by Dan Adkins

Synopsis: Travis Morgan and Krystovar have escaped the forces of New Atlantis through the sea cave back into Skartaris. Krystovar suggests they need a destination and asks Morgan if he has a home. Morgan says that he does and adds that it’s probably time he returns there to his mate.

Morgan and Krystovar land at the port of Bakwele. There they sell their boat and begin the trek across the swamps and the Forest of Ebondar to reach Shamballah. Krystovar fills Morgan in on the history of the New Atlanteans. They came from a different city-state, apparently, than the Atlanteans that settled Skartaris. Nothing the healer knows explains the advanced technology—some of it marked with the symbols of the U.S. Air Force—that Morgan found in the cave. That mystery nags at the Warlord, and he’d like to solve it.

Camping in the forest, Morgan goes to sleep, leaving Krystovar awake to tend the fire and take the first watch.

With both asleep, neither has a chance to see the large black bird that has been following them since they entered the forest, alight on a branch above them. Suddenly, their campfire begins to grow as if taking on a life of its own. It spreads quickly and strangely to form a circle entrapping our heroes.

The rising heat wakes Morgan from slumber. He rouses Krystovar, who immediately notices the behavior of the fire isn’t naturally. Morgan isn’t concerned with that at the moment, and has Krystovar climb up into a tree. When they’re both amid the branches, Morgan plays Tarzan again and swings them both to safety.

As soon as they’re free, the fire dies away. Krysotvar again points out the fire wasn’t natural and asks Morgan if he has any enemies in the forest. Morgan’s reply:

The two soon reach Shamballah. Morgan doesn’t get the reception he was expecting, as the guards bar him from entrance, and his wife’s faithful soldier Trogero shoots an arrow his direction and tells him to leave Shamballah immediately.

Krystovar notives the arrow has a message on it. Following its instructions the two hide in the woods outside the East Tower. Trogero appears and lowers a rope. He tells Morgan that Queen Tara did indeed give orders that her mate was not to be allowed to enter the city, but he had to help Morgan anyway.

Morgan disguises himself and sneaks into the palace. Tara has been expecting him:

See? Anyway, she gives him the usual lecture about running off after adventure and leaving his wife and responsibilities. She accuses him of once being a man with a dream of freedom and progress for Skartaris—a dream he has abandoned. Morgan admits this is true, but he says he’s turned over a new leaf and he’s going to be that man again. And he loves her.

Tara softens a bit (as she always does), and says she’ll think over letting him stay. She pulls him into her boudoir before sending him away.

A little later, a self-satisfied Travis Morgan remembers the silver cassette in his belt. He ought to get read of that thing, but his curiosity has been piqued and he really wants to get back to that cave…

Outside, a sinister looking black bird wings over Shamballah, plotting.

Things to Notice:

• Tara falls for Morgan's dubious promises once again.
• Where does Krystovar go all the time Morgan is making up with Tara? 

Where it Comes From:

The title is a reference to a line from the Mother Goose rhyme "To Market, To Market."

Burkett gets around to explaining the difference between his New Atlanteans and the Atlanteans we've seen before in Warlord.  Krystovar's explanation doesn't real provide a reason for the wide technological disparity between the two Atlantean isles.

The raven that isn't really a raven is a character returning from a previous issue, but I'll wait for the story to reveal who that might be.

Those Who Went Remain There Still

Three hard-bitten farmers and a spiritualist enter a cave in search of a treasure--and find monsters. It sounds like a zero level D&D adventure, but its actually the capsule description of events in 19th-Century Kentucky in Cherie Priest’s novella Those Who Went Remain There Still.  In place of divine intervention, the ersatz adventurers have got the ghost of Daniel Boone.

The story begins with Boone and a group of trailblazers cutting a road through the wilderness. Along the way they encounter a bird-like creature that terrorizes them by night, snatching men away one by one. This frontier horror tale unfolds interspersed with events in Kentucky of 1899, where the patriarch of two feuding families, the Coys and Manders, has died and estranged family members are summoned back for the reading of his will.

The two stories intertwine, of course. To receive the old man’s bounty, a chosen group of Coys and Manders must enter the forbidding and noxious Witch’s Cave to retreive his will. There, a horror waits that was not truly conquered by Boone and his band over a century before.

Priest weaves a unusual horror tale that is sort of Lovecraftian (in the sense of being firmly rooted in a particular place, and having “normal” men face horrors beyond their understanding) but mixes it with a definite Southern gothic feel. The basic plot could be inspiration for traditional Medieval fantasy, but the whole idea of frontier monster-slaying is perhaps even better.

Check it out!