How to Skin A Half-Orc

Or an alternative way to skin them if you're tired of the same old thing. In the tradition of my two previous posts, may I suggest you give those half-orc mechanics a fur coat.

Hairies are mostly gentle, primitive hominids living in communal groups in deep in forests.  Sometimes though, one of them goes rogue.

Ill-fit for the close-knit hairy society, these individuals leave the forest enclaves of their people and put their size and strength to use where they can. Outcast hairies are not necessarily evil (though many are) just too aggressive and individualistic for their own kind. Those characteristics allow them to get a long pretty well in the world of adventurers.

Warlord Wednesday: The Cold Night of the Undead

Let's re-enter the lost world with another installment of my issue by issue examination of DC Comic's Warlord, the earlier installments of which can be found here...

"The Cold Night of the Undead"

Warlord #108 (August 1986)

Written by Michael Fleisher; Art by Ron Randall

Synopsis: Morgan, Shakira, and Damon ride through the snowy wastes in a valley sheltered from the Skartarian sun (like the one in issue #9). Suddenly, out of the blowing snows, charges a group of warriors mounted on mammoths!

The battle is joined. Morgan tells Damon to protect Shakira as she’s without a weapon and “helpless.” Shakira takes out several of the attackers and saves Damon’s life. “Helpless,” eh?

Meanwhile, Mariah and Machiste are in the stolen Ummschal bone barge with a kidnapped wizard--and facing down a water elemental. All seems lost, but Mariah keeps her wits about her and forces the wizard to use his magic do something on threat of his life. Ultimately, the wizard relents and makes the elemental boil away. Our heroes only have a moment of relief, because then their boat and its skeletal crew begins to fall apart.

In the frozen valley, Morgan and the others make camp. Damon rides back to a copse of trees to get more firewood. When he arrives, he hears a voice begging for help. He follows it over a snow drift and finds a tomb. Slipping inside in cat form, he finds:

Amazingly, she seems to be alive. This is where Damn’s Hammer Horror-less lifetime hurts him: he pulls the stake from her chest. She rises and embraces him to thank her hero.

Morgan and Shakira start wondering what became of Damon. Telling Shakira to stay put, Morgan goes looking for him and finds him amid the trees. Damon attacks,demonstrating superhuman strength. Before Damon can choke him to death, Morgan gets his sword free and runs his assailant through.

Mammoth riders arrive and tell Morgan that Damon must have violated the tomb of a lamia. As if to prove their point, Damon gets up and runs away. The riders attacked before because Morgan and crew had unknowingly crossed the warning boundary. The leader of the riders tells Morgan the story of the lamia:

Eventually, the lamia Mortalla was brought down. Thought she was immortal, they were able to imprison her in the tomb. Her amulet was hidden by a shaman beneath a great tree.

No sooner is the mammoth rider’s tale done than the lamia and her forces (a group of fisherman she enthralled) attack. She Shakira is surrounded, and Damon is reading to throw Morgan off a cliff!

Things to Notice:

• There are 3 variants of this issues cover: newstand cover as above, a direct sale cover that is liek the cover above both without the UPC, and a newstand version with cover text.
• The scene on the cover doesn't take place in the story.

Where it Comes From:
The title of this issue is a play on Night of the Living Dead, the seminal 1968 zombie film by George Romero.

The lamia Mortalla may have been inspired by Clark Ashton Smith story "Morthylla" (we've seen Fleisher inspired by CAS before), but her costume is classic comic book vampiress, recalling Lilith, Dracula's Daughter, and especially Vampirella.

Rooke

This is Mingus Rooke, club owner, jazz musician, and former adventurer. He's rendered here in a Chester Gould-ish style by Lester B. Portly. Here's Rooke's stats in WaRP:

Mingus Rooke
Famous former adventure; Owner of the Blue Hound club in Solace

Black man, mid-50s, gone a little soft since retiring.

Attack: 2 dice
Defense: 3 dice

Jazz Musician, 6 dice (jazz slang)
In the Know, 3 dice - Well-connected to the adventuring, music, and magical communities. (he's always got a story)
Musical Magic, 3 dice - Can great various spell-like effects via music. Must be able to play his horn or another instrument to use this ability. Range is generally 2 x die roll yards, though this may vary with effect, at the referee's discretion..
Not as Young as He Used to Be - Any exertion that goes over 2 rounds results in a penalty die.

Clowns from the Clouds

There is, they say, a wandering, cloud island, that is home to clowns. These are no mere performers but the thing the mummers ape, fey and changeable beings not of this world.

Where the cloud island passes in it's maundering way, the clowns come down among normal folk, dropping from the sky under motley umbrellas, or sliding down shafts of light. They put on carnivals, perform farces, and throw out candies. After they have gone, people are sometimes found missing, particularly children.

Sometimes when the island passes, the clowns don't come down but instead drop candies of preternatural flavors and small items imbued with magic: a hand mirror, a short sword, a jar of skin cream, a pack of gum. There are rumors that these come in trade--or are perhaps stolen--from the Moon. There are tales spun of daring thieves sneaking on to the cloud island to rob the clowns' treasure stores, but as far as is known, these are just stories.

Other tales purport to come from people who have visited the cloud island and returned. These seldom mention  treasure stores, but do describe colorful tents scattered among cyclopean stone ruins (that may predate the clowns) and the rare tree, strewn with mists and carnival lights. The anarchic clowns careen between merriment and slumber. No clown ever seems to die, no matter what sort of violence is done to them. 

Sometimes, for reasons unknown, a clown falls from the island. These strange,sad creatures become wandering tramps, losing much of their magic and too often turning drink.

[Note: The Clown Island belongs to a world other than the world of Weird Adventures--unless of course, you want it there.]

An Update Infernal

The above is Mammon, boss of the Pluton family, ably rendered by Jeremy (that Dandy in the Underworld). More images of Hell's hoods are forthcoming.  I figured it was time to update the Weird Adventures Index with a the whole rogues gallery.  Check out these posts if you missed them the first time:

     Andras: "Hell's Hoods: The Owl"
     Avernus family: "Hell's Hoods: Meet the Avernus Family"
     Belial: "Hell's Hoods: Sin's Queen"
     Bifrons: "Hell's Hoods: Two-Faced Politician"
     Mammon: "Hell's Hoods: The Fat Man"
     Moloch: "Hell's Hoods: The Bull"
     Pluton family: "Hell's Hoods: Casino Infernale"

Carnival of Lost Souls

In last night's Weird Adventures game, the gang (this time consisting of Cornelius, Diabolico, and Loone) returned to the Carnival Pandemonium--but in daylight this time. Sounds came from the carnival that suggested it was doing brisk business.

Many things in the carnival seemed design to mess with them (well, because they were). Music and sounds were recorded, not real, but the record player they emanated from wasn't working either. The escaping prisoner targets in the shooting gallery had the faces of our heroes.

They decided to take a ride on the "Tomb of Horrors" ride. After passing several gruesome scenes of simulated torturer, they came upon a very real undead gunslinger. Amazingly, Diabolico managed to get a shot off before Deadeye and blow his gun hand off! Cornelius grabbed his other pistol with his bullwhip. The defeated Deadeye disappeared into darkness.

The gang followed and found a door. It was like a stage prop: just a door and frame attached to nothing. He could be opened from either side and led to...some place else. A place with three more doors. After some investigation, the gang stepped through.

Each of the three chose a door and opened it in unison. Colorful smoke came billowing out, and they were unable to escape it. Loone found himself in a another space with the wounded Deadeye trying to bandage his hand. Marzo showed up to tempt Loone: and to possibly absorb Deadeye into the palm of his hand. "The price of failure," he said.

Loone wasn't about to trade his soul. He managed to confuse Marzo momentarily with his mental powers. Long enough to escape back into the first room, at any rate.

Diabolico wound up in a space with Polly the Rubber Girl reclining on a couch. Diabolico might as well have been Boris this whole adventure. He started shooting without so much as a "hello." Polly was quick, though and wound up with her thighs around his neck, strangling him. Diabolico still managed to put a bullet in her and free himself. After that, it was easy to finish her off.

Cornelius found himself facing Chandoo the Mystic. The old man was seated in the lotus position, seemingly an easy target. When Cornelius tried to put his whip around the mystic's neck. He found that he wasn't anywhere close to where he appeared to be. He was using Eastern techniques to cloud Cornelius's mind! He made his whip appear to be a snake and Cornelius dropped it. His keenly honed senses allowed him to draw enough of a bead that he was able to wing his assailant. The mystic attacked more directly, but Cornelius was luckier and did him in. Chandoo's fake accent of the mysterious East dropped as he was dying.

Cornelius refused Marzo's offer and was released. Diabolico refused by shooting the Viscount. Again, Marzo seemed only mildly discomforted, so Diabolico punched him.  Marzo responded by putting a stilletto in Diabolico's gut.

Gravely wounded, Diabolico was tossed out the door to his friends. An examined showed what appeared to be blood on his clothes, but no actual wound! Loone used his mental abilities to help Diabolico realize the injury was illusionary.

By the time that was done, the doors were gone. The carnival now seemed utterly mundane and run down.

Marzo was gone.

Warlord Wednesday: The Uxmal Encounter (part 2)

Let's re-enter the lost world with another installment of my issue by issue examination of DC Comic's Warlord, the earlier installments of which can be found here...

"The Uxmal Encounter"

Warlord Annual #5 (1986)

Written by Michael Fleisher; Art by Adam Kubert

Synopsis: Morgan and the Hawaiian shirt wearing Doug are rising quickly toward the surface on a sky-sled, pursued by Skartarian Mayans. Morgan uses his stolen laser to blast away at the side of the tunnel, causing a rock fall that crushes the Mayans.

Meanwhile, in a secret CIA installation the destruction of the base by the Mayans is discussed. Agents are sent to Colombia to make sure it’s not the Cubans or the Soviets using laser weapons. In KGB headquarters in Moscow, agents are also dispatched to investigate the strange happenings, as well.

Morgan drops Doug off in Mexico after swearing him to secrecy about what he's seen. Morgan plans to head back into the tunnels and find some way to close them off. While he’s on the surface, he’s sighted by the CIA agents in a jet. They think he’s one of the Mayans. The pilot, Redmond, is a bit trigger-happy. He shoots a couple of missiles Morgan's way:

They take Morgan to their base to interrogate him.They give him a megavitamin shot to keep him alive (kids, don’t try this at home!). Redmond’s superiors find out they've got Lt. Col. Travis Morgan who disappeared about a decade ago, and they’re keen on finding out where he’s been.They give Redmond 24 hours to get them answers.

Caroline,Redmond’s partner, frees Morgan to take him to Air Force intelligence. She says Redmond has gone off the deep end and she won’t be party to his extra-harsh interrogation techniques. It’s a trick though: Redmond’s informed of what’s going on. And, as they steal an F-15, so is the KGB: game plan “Janus” is in effect.

Morgan flies over Uxmal where Mayan flying craft are emerging--a fleet of 31. With his superior skill at flying (and the “ultrasonic cannon” the CIA have equipped the F-15 with)  Morgan takes them all out.  No sooner is that done, than Caroline shows her true colors. She threatens Morgan with a hypodermic needle if he doesn’t fly out of the ocean. She’s a KGB double agent and she plans for them to meet a submarine. Morgan’s got other plans:

Caroline gets ejected.

The jet’s low on fuel, but Morgan manages to land if safely (barely) near the edge of a cliff. It turns out the Mayan priest has crashed there as well and he’s got a gun trained on Morgan. Thinking quickly, Morgan deploys the plane’s drogue parachute:

So long, high priest.

Morgan commandeers the Mayan’s flier (which isn’t all that damaged) and heads back to Skartaris, hoping Shakira won’t be too angry with him for being late for breakfast.

In the days that follow there's political fallout from the “Uxmal Encounter.” The U.S. President orders that information about the events remain secret until they know exactly what the hell happened. In Moscow, Caroline reports to her masters who reprimand her for losing Morgan, but decide to return her to her undercover work rather than send her to the gulag. Redmond, confused by events, vows to to not stop trying to uncover the truth.

Things to Notice:

• CIA agent Stryker knew about Travis Morgan way back in issue #13. Did he not tell his superiors or was a report misfiled?
• Ronald Reagan makes his first appearance in an issue of Warlord.

Where it Comes From:
The F-15 Eagle first flew in July of 1972 and was introduced into service in 1976. Morgan tells Caroline he's "cleared" for flight of an F-15, but since he's been in Skartaris (for the most part) since 1969, that seems unlikely.

This issue makes a lot of use of the Cold War backdrop, but 1986 was actually an era of lessening tensions. Gorbachev and Reagan gave televised joint addresses to the people of the U.S. and the U.S.S.R.  in January. Commercial flights between the two nations resumed in April of that year, having been suspended in 1978. A various meetings and summits were held throughout the year with an aim at reducing the nuclear threat and some of them led to lasting treaties.