Friday, July 20, 2012

Random Rampage Table

On occasion, someone in the City can be heard to ask, incredulously: "What's climbing to the top of that skyscraper?!":

1. nonhuman hominid or primate
2. Gargantuan crustacean (lobstrosity)
3. Fifty-foot showgirl
4. Gi-ant
5. Flesh golem compose of parts of 1-6 other giant creatures
6. Animated statute
8. Man mutated by thaumaturgic accident
9. Gigantolycanthrope
10. Ghost of another creature (roll again to determine which)
11. Amorphous blob or slime
12. Mega-flumph


garrisonjames said...

Thankfully I didn't have my coffee yet, otherwise I'd have scalded my nostrils when I read entry 12.

Short, succinct, strange as all get out--you've hit another home run. The illustration is priceless.

Canageek said...

Why would a mega-flumph be rampaging? They are lawful good!

Trey said...

@Canageek - Visiting their righteous wrath upon evil-doers who had kidnapped a flumphling for experimentation? Mind-control by an evil sorcerer? Lot's of reasons. ;)

@Jim - Thanks.

Pat said...

Good to know. Kreskin keeps a sharp eye out for showgirls of any height.

Gus L said...

I really think every setting needs a version of this table. Also glad it is dragon free.

Sean Robson said...

And on the off-chance that not every skyscraper ascent is motivated by rampage...

13. Publicity-seeking daredevil.

Trey said...

@Sea Robson - Good point!

Gothridge Manor said...

Fifty feet of show girl carries a lot of kick.

I can see the ad on sci fi excuse me, Sy Fy, The Mega Flumph meets the 50' Show Girl. Fluff vs. Flumph.

Trey said...

@Tim Shorts - Get SyFy on the phone!